under the surface

I hold back
instead of saying
what I think
I bite my tongue
I chafe at the bit
I gnash my teeth
I choke back the words
it is better this way
keeps the peace
on the outside
I’ve done it since forever
it is a habit now
smile and nod
be polite
maybe not always
but usually
for it is expected of me
I don’t want to disappoint
or raise eyebrows
heaven forbid
what if…
perhaps someday
but not today
until that day
I will keep
my secret self
buried
under the surface

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