not always

I saw someone at church today

whom I haven’t seen in years

from opposites ends of the hallway

we met in the middle

as I drew within earshot

he said of me, ”She’s always smiling.”

I shook me head “no”

and said aloud, “not always”

he stated, “It’s not your husband with cancer.”

I countered with, “Yes. It is.”

him: “It’s pretty bad. Isn’t it?!”

me: “Stage 4. Two surgeries. Chemo now.”

him: “Is he bedridden?”

me: “Last summer for awhile,

with chemo and radiation simultaneously.

Workin’ light duty at a desk right now.”

him: “We’ve been praying, but we’ll pray harder”

me: “Thank you.

We know that’s what’s gettin’ us through.”

then we parted ways

he and his wife went one way

I went another

they are headed back to Michigan

to the church he’s senior pastor of

it was good to see him

on this Sunday morn

Self & Devil Dialogue

Self: It’s been over a year…maybe I can have a drink again.

Devil: Do it. It’ll take sooo goood. You won’t regret it. 

Self: But I like it too much. I want the oblivion too badly. I want the escape a drink, two, three or more offers. 

Devil: Exactly! That’s why you should…

Self: Damn. I want one. But I won’t let myself. For that very reason. I want it too much. I couldn’t stop at one. I might get quite snockered and lose my clothes and loosen my tongue and say and do things I shouldn’t.

Devil: It’s been awhile since you’ve done that…Margarita? Amaretto Stone Sour? Bloody Mary? Vodka and cranberry, Blue Sky of course? Daiquiri? Pick your poison. The bar is fully stocked. No one will know. You can hide the booze in the cabinet above the fridge where no one ever looks but you. You know, where you used to keep it, before you took it to your mother’s to get it out of the house. Farther away from you.

Self: Shit. I want one of each. But, no. I won’t. Not tonight. Strong will and determination can conquer this weakness, this longing for escape. I’ll stay in reality a little longer. 

True Story

*end of dialogue submitted to thevagabondking anon challenge*

Note Added When Posting As Me: I submitted the above dialogue by the deadline set by thevagabondking. I submitted it anonymously. I’m posting it now as myself because why the hell not. No one replied to my etiquette question saying it’s just not to be done under any circumstances or we’ll all stop following you and you’ll be left all alone. thevagabondking awarded it the bronze, third place, behind #1 and #2 and before two honorable mentions. Thanks for the Tumblr kudos, thevagabondking! I wanted to thank you out loud. 

© Turquoise Tangles

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