under the surface

I hold back
instead of saying
what I think
I bite my tongue
I chafe at the bit
I gnash my teeth
I choke back the words
it is better this way
keeps the peace
on the outside
I’ve done it since forever
it is a habit now
smile and nod
be polite
maybe not always
but usually
for it is expected of me
I don’t want to disappoint
or raise eyebrows
heaven forbid
what if…
perhaps someday
but not today
until that day
I will keep
my secret self
under the surface

I took this photograph from the beach on Morris Island, SC on June 9, 2011. Morris Island is surrounded by the Atlantic Ocean and is near the entrance to Charleston Harbor and was one of my favorite destinations on our 2011 summer vacation.

This poem, "under the surface" was written on December 29, 2011 and first posted at Turquoise Tangles on Tumblr.

© 2012 Janean Baird, Turquoise Tangles


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