all dogs go to Heaven

Blue Baird (September 26, 2011-May 1, 2018) Monday night Blue was much weaker, wobbly standing. I called the vet, to schedule a time if he made it through the night. He did. On Tuesday Blue spent the whole morning belly in the grass, listening to the birds, soaking up sunshine, watching the world go by. The vet came to the house around 11:30am. Blue and I sat in the grass in the front yard. The boys were inside, having already said goodbye. By 11:45am Blue’s spirit was gone. Oh. My heart. Big, sweet dog I loved. This picture of Blue and I is from yesterday morning at 8:55am, enjoying backyard sun, a few hours before his death.

May 2, 2018

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Blue and I

Blue and I sat in the backyard sunshine this morning after both boys left for school. I took some still photos of Blue looking left and then right, assessing, protecting, for this is his turf. The birds serenaded as the cool breeze blew making the wind-chimes chime. I made this video to save and share this moment in time. Blue is slowing down, eating less and sleeping more. We are staying in our own yard instead of walking sidewalk paths we both know by heart. Thankful for each day, especially quiet moments such as this.

April 25, 2018

unexpected heart skip

Thankful for neighbors who know Blue and me. That dog got loose from the backyard leash tonight. I didn’t know until the phone rang and I was asked, “Do you have a dog named Blue?” Thankfully, after a joy run described as, “he was running fast,” Blue went to Becca and her friend Steve when they called him. That alone is amazing, wonderful and rare without Blue bait in the form of a treat or pretty girl dog. Becca used Tilly’s leash to walk him the short distance home. Scared me. I didn’t know they had him when I hung up the phone. I shouted to the boys to help me catch him, grabbed his leash and went out the front door and saw them. Situation under control. *Relief* Crazy dog that is crashed out, conked, happily asleep dreaming doggy dreams now. Thankful it all happened before dark and he is OK and home. 

wolf whispers

on the train
heading home
lost in my own thoughts
my heart hurting
a sweet sound breaks through
that of a child howling
not crying, squalling, or fussing
howling
like a wolf at the moon
AH-OOO!
[but not too loudly]
it was a quieter, “ah-ooo”
made me smile
I peeked around my window seat and said aloud to the brown eyed boy behind me, “Is there a wolf back there?”
his eyes got bigger
as did his mother’s smile
I told him I like to howl like a wolf too
added that I have a big dog that looks like a wolf with a long nose and pointy ears and that he has a girlfriend that howled if he didn’t visit her fence fast enough when we went on walks
he has three dogs at home
one of them is named Luna
the same as Blue’s best girl
thankful for this brief moment
on the train taking me home
the day after a memorial service
for my grandfather
he was a moon howler too
great big, giant and loud, “AH-OOO!”
though for thoughtfulness of others
such as inside and on a train car
a quiet, nearly whispered, “ah-ooo”
I love you, Grandpa
Forever
your life’s work and legacy will live on
inside everyone who ever met and knew you and through your stories, music and poems
ah-ooo
ah-ooo
ah-ooo

April 12, 2015

more abundantly

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sitting at my art table
a movie
playing in the background
“Finding Normal”
first time I’ve seen it
mostly listening
when John 10:10 is spoken
the latter part of the verse
catches my attention
“…I am come
that they might have life,
and that they might
have it more abundantly.”

I look up as I hear it
for sitting on the windowsill
in my direct line of sight
is John 10:10
though the translation varies
the sentiment is the same
live abundantly
as you walk with The Lord
twice
this passage came to me twice
both times through art
first time as a response
to my Good Friday art
then again today
a year later
in mid June
as I work on a gift
a piece I’m sort of keeping secret
until it is done
the timing is His
meant to be
this whispered reminder
from an unexpected source
so much has happened
in the in between
so much
my heart is still processing
some days reeling
art making helps ease the ache
heartsore
art is my path
to healing
to life
more abundantly

The photo shows two passages of scripture propped up by whittled animals, both the handiwork of my grandpa, Erwin A. Thompson. The hound dog is in charge of John 10:10 from the March 2013 Good Friday art show mentioned above. The cat is curled up with Revelation 21:4-5, the prayer team’s response to, “Restore” and “Rebuild,” the art I made for the April 2014 Good Friday show.

“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.”
Revelation 21:4-5

Feels right. Even more so rereading and pondering two months later. It goes together. All these seemingly random parts of my life story. My art medium is collage. I cut and glue and puzzle together pieces of cut and torn paper to create an image. The art in progress now is a river. Grandpa’s River. The Mississippi. The Mighty Miss-is-ip.

June 14, 2014

…and I clicked publish on this post before unpausing the movie and watching a little more to find out cancer is one of the themes in the movie. Of course it is. Damn it.

Big Day here

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Yesterday was a lilac scented morning walk, filling and delivering 100 water balloons to the park for the fifth grade picnic, attending junior high chapel presented by eighth grade, and more. Today started with another morning walk, though birdsong was more noticeable than the still blooming lilacs. It will be a quieter morning inside than usual because my oldest gets to sleep in a bit, not needed at school until midday for pictures and practicing for eighth grade graduation. No caps and gowns, just dressed up with a tie, but not the Star Wars one that he really wants to wear because it is against the rules this time. Half a day of school for my fifth grader because I'm springing him early for the 2pm ceremony. Cake after. Store bought. Big day here. Hoping for more smiles than tears. My, but that was a fast school year.

May 23, 2014

Spring renewal

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Spring has been extra beautiful this year
maybe it’s because winter was so extra cold and snowy
maybe it’s just because every spring my heart soars as the trees and flowers bud and bloom
daffodils have come and gone
tulips are still tuliping
lilacs are just beginning
magnolias and forsythia fade into redbuds and the white burst of Bradford Pears
oh
Springtime
the sky seems extra blue
the birds serenade with the most melodious of songs
especially this morning
in the quiet stillness
of that moment just before dawn
I heard them through my bedroom window
saw the sun filtering in
heard the dog stir
we walked
few cars
just us and a few other early dogs
thankful for the lack of wind
savoring the sunshine and blue skies
a backdrop for the renewal of Spring
it’s all rather glorious
simple joys
early on a Sunday morning

May 4, 2014