May 2, 2018

all dogs go to Heaven

Blue Baird (September 26, 2011-May 1, 2018) Monday night Blue was much weaker, wobbly standing. I called the vet, to schedule a time if he made it through the night. He did. On Tuesday Blue spent the whole morning belly in the grass, listening to the birds, soaking up sunshine, watching the world go by. The vet came to the house around 11:30am. Blue and I sat in the grass in the front yard. The boys were inside, having already said goodbye. By 11:45am Blue’s spirit was gone. Oh. My heart. Big, sweet dog I loved. This picture of Blue and I is from yesterday morning at 8:55am, enjoying backyard sun, a few hours before his death.

May 2, 2018

October 26, 2014

getting unstuck

Sitting at my kitchen table
Still in pjs
Drinking coffee
Blue on guard in the backyard
[quietly]
Boys voices drifting up
[talking over video game sounds]

I took a long hot soaking bath with a light book yesterday
Had a good day but was tired and fried
That helped
A lot
I’ll do it again
I forget to
Best of all woke up early [4:40a] but fell back asleep until 7a
Bliss

[PAUSE]

Dog woofed
He jumped the crooked bent ineffective wire mesh garden fence and got stuck
Out of leash but also the leash clasp was caught around the edge of the fence
Stuck
Unclipped him
Bent fence down enough he could jump
Loved him
He scared himself
For today anyway
He followed me in
Muddy paws which he hates having touched
Got a layer of dirt off
My house is nowhere near spotless
Ever
A little garden dirt won’t hurt

Poured the last of my coffee
Not rushing anywhere today
I am so thankful for lack of rush

October 26, 2014
A diary of my Sunday morning moments that occurred between 8:18a and 8:51a today. I can pinpoint the timing so exactly because this is an excerpt of an email reply I sent to my cousin. On a wild whim decided to share this snippet from my life here too. I’ve been quiet in my public writing spots. Have needed to be. Still do. ~Janean

July 5, 2014

routine maintenance

The firefighters just flushed the hydrant in front of my house
Little unexpected excitement
Blue heard Jake barking while they did the hydrant around the corner
We had to go investigate
Saw the water spraying but stopped by the fence for the dogs to say hi and didn’t go around the corner
Saw three young children and their parents splashing in the street
Smiled at their happy
Then here came the truck to park by our curb
We watched from the sidewalk across the street
‘We’ being two dogs, three adults and the three hopeful children wanting to splash some more
This hydrant not making as many puddles as before
No splashing after all
Parting ways with, “Have a good day” and “See you later”
Blue and I cross for home
Staying dry other than bare feet through the puddles in the street
My boys slept through it
Had it not been for my dog I’d have missed it too

July 5, 2014
A snapshot of a moment from before 9:30am. My oldest woke up right after the dog and I came inside. The youngest will appear with some prodding before noon. The lazy hazy days of summertime are here.

March 10, 2014

Where is the bus?

Monday morning after the time change.
My fifth grade boy wanted to stay burrowed in his bed.
Eventually he got up, ate and dressed.
The school bus was 20 minutes late.
An unusual occurrence.
A snowball fight ensued.
Throwing, dodging, trash talk, laughter, and a few hits too.
Where is the bus?
Each creak and squeak carried on the air got our hopes up.
Nope.
Dump truck.
End loader.
It’s also garbage day in our neighborhood.
What time is it?
We speculated on where the bus might be.
Broken down?
Driver overslept?
Or got amnesia?
One boy asked, “What’s that?”
I replied, “When you forget who you are.”
Then we saw the flash of yellow begin as the bus appeared around a corner.
The bus!
There it is!
Finally.
Just in a nick o’time to take the children to school without being late.
All snow play ceased as the line formed once again.
One by one they step aboard.
“Good morning,” says the driver.
*whew*
Made it.

March 10, 2014
Nothing like a little bit of extra excitement on a groggy Monday, the day after the time change.

February 5, 2014

neighborly help

No school here
Lots of snow
Just in from shoveling
Was gonna just do front porch and steps
Then a path to sidewalk
Then sidewalk
Then half the drive
Threw Blue inside for nonstop woofing
Kept shoveling
Boys zzzz’ing
Boys who were wild, knowing it was gonna be a snow day, and didn’t go to bed until sometime after 10pm
Was about ready to say, “Enough”
Then I saw Snowblowerman
My hero today 🙂
Not that I wasn’t gonna take my oldest son up on his offer to help me shovel today
I was
But the neighbor who was snowblowing his sidewalk kept coming my way
I’d done my part of the sidewalk and a little more already
It was that driveway
He offered, said it’d just take a sec, commented, “That’s some drift.”
It really was
I accepted and said, “Thank you.”
He really was done lickety split
I stayed outside while he worked
Kept my shovel moving
Just a few back and forth passes, stopping to adjust where the snow was blowing, then done, “Voila”
I said, “Thank you” again
And added, “That was amazing.”
I’m not even sure which house he lives in, just the direction he walked from, blowing snow as he arrived and as he left
Done now
So thankful that it is
Kindness
Neighbors helping neighbors
I love my neighborhood
Where Blue dog and I manage to have all sorts of Adventures before 7:00am

February 5, 2014

January 30, 2014 Gallery

6:56am “Just in from walking Blue. Too cold a day for a flannel pj walk. Now I know. Sun is just coming up now. It started sort of dappled and is hot pink and lavender now. Kinda gorgeous. More hot pink now. I still have my coat on. Time to wake up my oldest son, but the sky and writing to You. My wind chimes chime.” I send the email and then step outside to my backyard deck, to try to capture with a mere photograph, the amazing beauty I watched unfolding. For not the first time, I find myself wishing I could see further along the horizon, without houses in the way, as Blue looks through the sliding glass door, longing to be outside with me. I head back in and begin to wake those two tired boys. Opening my oldest son’s blinds to let some light in, and mentioning the beautiful sunrise. He groans, to let me know he heard me and is getting up…eventually. When I return to the kitchen the sky has changed again. Warm golden hues followed the initial display of fiery color. Fleeting color at that. Hours have since passed, both boys are at school, and we aren’t even left with blue overhead. The sky is white today. The wind blows. My chimes chime. Just two days remain in the first month of the new year.

January 30, 2014

January 29, 2014

mom stuff

Children both to school.
Dog walked.
Big sigh breathed aloud.
Wednesday today.
All day.
Thankful for a quiet house.
My chance to recharge.

January 29, 2014
9:32am
a twitter poem
*chirp*
Today is the first day back to school after the weekend, plus two “snow days” with no school due to sub zero temperatures and double digit windchill. Six snow days were used this January and 2014 is still young. February, March and April are yet to come. It’s winter weather in Illinois, anything can happen!

January 19, 2014

Minecraft lesson #2

Week two of Xbox 360 Minecraft lessons from my sons. My youngest boy was my teacher today. He made, “Blow Crap Up World” and taught me how to use TNT. It is kinda fun… I’m grinning after playing for around thirty minutes, before saying, “Enough.” Cooking up some bacon for two sleepyheaded boys for breakfast next. My incentive to learn how to move better, with the foreign feeling controller, was that if I could track and catch him, I could have a dog. I caught him. Hearts appear. Now I have a virtual canine companion too. Cool. Minecraft has a dragon in a dark portal lair. My youngest son slayed him. Proud Mama here. Said aloud, “I’m not an Xbox Girl.” My sons think there is hope for me though. Well, of course there is. I’m A Hope Full Woman for sure. A long time ago, I played Frogger on Atari. I even remember when Pong was cool. Yes. I’m that freaking old, typed with a smile and a bubbling laugh, because at 42 I feel like I’m just getting started. I am.

January 19, 2014

quiet stillness

in the quiet stillness
of a moonlit
morning walk
there was
a woman smiling
alongside her dog
the moon just full
now waning
lighting up the sky
translucent clouds
crowd alongside
without obscuring
la lune’s glowing
yesterday’s snowfall
blankets the ground
glistening
sparkling
moonlight reflecting
temperatures shivering
she is bundled up
walking in booted feet
only her eyes showing
behind her scarf smiling
woman’s heart pondering
dog’s nose to the ground
as they walk
in the quiet stillness
of a moonlit morn

January 19, 2014
Blue and I just went around the block
about twenty minutes altogether
6:00-6:20am
per usual I didn’t check the temperature before we stepped outside
I just peeked now…
13*F, feels like -4*F
or like I usually say, “It’s a little cold.”
I’m half dressed and half in pajamas
breakfast is next for me
Blue is couch zzzz’ing
my children are bed zzzz’ing
thankfully

January 6, 2014

smart dog

I reported at 6:15am, “Blue is sleeping in. Smart dog.”

Of course, just like with human children, when you remark on their sleep habits, they do the opposite to prove you wrong and by 6:38am, my Blue dog appeared beside my bed to see if I was awake too. I scratched his velvety ears and then he woofed to say, “Get up already!” I did.

In record time that dog and I went out and were back inside before 7:00am. Here’s my micro report from that excursion:

At first Blue went romping through the snow drifts thinking, “Woo hoo! This is fun!” Then he started limping and holding up a back paw. Suddenly the spot in front of our house between the sidewalk and curb, where the wind blew the snow down to where you can see the grass with a fire hydrant conveniently located nearby was THE SPOT and we’re both back inside. Dog looked at me not quite sure what kind of snow and cold that was today, nothing like the fun of yesterday. I told him he was a good boy and to go get warm. He ate a bite and is stationed in his front window watching post now. Good morning. Safe travels if you must.

The Weather Channel app declares it is -17*F and feels like -45*F. I keep calling it crazy cold, which is evidently what comes after snot freezing cold on my thermometer. I’m obviously not A Weather Girl. Usually I just wake up, get dressed enough and head outside because it’s time to walk the dog.