all dogs go to Heaven

Blue Baird (September 26, 2011-May 1, 2018) Monday night Blue was much weaker, wobbly standing. I called the vet, to schedule a time if he made it through the night. He did. On Tuesday Blue spent the whole morning belly in the grass, listening to the birds, soaking up sunshine, watching the world go by. The vet came to the house around 11:30am. Blue and I sat in the grass in the front yard. The boys were inside, having already said goodbye. By 11:45am Blue’s spirit was gone. Oh. My heart. Big, sweet dog I loved. This picture of Blue and I is from yesterday morning at 8:55am, enjoying backyard sun, a few hours before his death.

May 2, 2018

Blue and I

Blue and I sat in the backyard sunshine this morning after both boys left for school. I took some still photos of Blue looking left and then right, assessing, protecting, for this is his turf. The birds serenaded as the cool breeze blew making the wind-chimes chime. I made this video to save and share this moment in time. Blue is slowing down, eating less and sleeping more. We are staying in our own yard instead of walking sidewalk paths we both know by heart. Thankful for each day, especially quiet moments such as this.

April 25, 2018

Thou art with me

  
THIS DESCRIBES MY KITTEN, PANZER! He has snuck past Blue dog’s self appointed guard post at the top of the basement stairs TWICE in recent days! The first time I found the cat on the stove while Blue kept staring down the basement staircase not knowing he and Panzer were on the same floor in adjacent rooms. The second time we realized Panzer wasn’t in the basement I took Blue out for a walk while my oldest son shook the cat food bag until he found the kitten upstairs in my room.   

 The stare down. 

Psalm 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

March 20, 2016

permission granted

  
I said yes to myself today. Yes to the most beautiful, fragrant, lavender roses with red edged tips. Unique and lovely, they eased the unexpected ache inside. I put them in my cart knowing they were not on sale, and more expensive at $10 than the clearance grocery store bouquets I usually give myself permission to buy. I needed them. More than I realized until after I placed them in a clear glass vase upon the solid oak kitchen table. Ever since, these unique, two-tone roses have been filling the room with a pleasant perfume in lieu of the wet dog, teenage boy and other non-rose scents that often linger. I needed them today, this bouquet, more than I knew. Ahhh. Much better. 

March 13, 2016

100

Happy 100th birthday in Heaven, Grr. I can hear your fiddle music playing at your birthday square dance and see Grandma smiling. Have fun calling, “chase the rabbit, chase the squirrel, chase the girl around the world.” You did. Thinking of you. Wearing my cowgirl boots for the first time this fall. Tell Copper and Santas I said hi too. Scratch their ears in the spots they liked. I am hoping that an unadvertised good thing about Heaven is: No Horseflies. Love you. Thinking of you extra today. Smiling, not crying. Just a little misty around the corners, like you when you’d hear music playing in your mind as you told a story from long ago. Love, Janean

Mother’s Day

The birds serenaded Blue and I on our early morning walk. Thankfully the pouring rain from earlier had stopped, though we’d have walked anyway. Enjoying breakfast now and some quiet time before the boys wake up. I love being their mom. My oldest son gave me my Mother’s Day gift early by going to the Good Friday artist reception and service in April. My younger son wrote me a poem that I’m not supposed to know about, but I saw the rough draft on accident while looking for his weekly report. Since he was out sick three days last week his awesome teacher sent it home with Friday’s homework with a post-it, “For Andrew’s Eyes Only :-)” I didn’t peek! Hope everyone I know has a blessed day filled with abundant love that overflows. Hug each other close. I had no idea how much my parents loved me until I became a mom. I get it now. Love that knows no bounds.

May 10, 2015