sitting at my art table
playing in the background
first time I’ve seen it
when John 10:10 is spoken
the latter part of the verse
catches my attention
“…I am come
that they might have life,
and that they might
have it more abundantly.”
I look up as I hear it
for sitting on the windowsill
in my direct line of sight
is John 10:10
though the translation varies
the sentiment is the same
as you walk with The Lord
this passage came to me twice
both times through art
first time as a response
to my Good Friday art
then again today
a year later
in mid June
as I work on a gift
a piece I’m sort of keeping secret
until it is done
the timing is His
meant to be
this whispered reminder
from an unexpected source
so much has happened
in the in between
my heart is still processing
some days reeling
art making helps ease the ache
art is my path
The photo shows two passages of scripture propped up by whittled animals, both the handiwork of my grandpa, Erwin A. Thompson. The hound dog is in charge of John 10:10 from the March 2013 Good Friday art show mentioned above. The cat is curled up with Revelation 21:4-5, the prayer team’s response to, “Restore” and “Rebuild,” the art I made for the April 2014 Good Friday show.
“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.”
Feels right. Even more so rereading and pondering two months later. It goes together. All these seemingly random parts of my life story. My art medium is collage. I cut and glue and puzzle together pieces of cut and torn paper to create an image. The art in progress now is a river. Grandpa’s River. The Mississippi. The Mighty Miss-is-ip.
June 14, 2014
…and I clicked publish on this post before unpausing the movie and watching a little more to find out cancer is one of the themes in the movie. Of course it is. Damn it.
It all started by reading a Facebook status that said, “Sometimes even the people you love need to be unfriended.” I simply wrote, “Thankful I’m still here.” A mutual friend commented, “Me, too, Janean. But, I have had to unfriend a couple for language too.” This is where I probably should have just liked her comment and let what instead happened next disappear like a puff of smoke. Instead, I wrote…
“I have my moments of “could have been a language violator.” I understand though. I figure “free to come and free to go” and am praying through the hurt of those who went from my own “friends list.” My true friends know where to find me. We’re programmed into one another’s phones and know the way to each other’s front door. We hug hello and goodbye and in between we talk, laugh and heart share. In person communique is better than online every time. I am thankful for the Godly examples of the many women I’ve met through church. I know what faithful prayer warriors they are and how mightily they prayed my family through a storm, while weathering storms of their own, often with gale force gusts, rated F4 and category 5. Online channels have their merits, for an initial meeting and keeping in touch, but in person is better because you can hug and read faces, which say more than most status updates ever could.”
Perhaps I said too much. Perhaps not enough. This whole topic of unfriending and blocking strikes a nerve that’s raw. There is hurt there. Life is about choices. “Free to go” should always be a viable option. Thankfully, it is. An older gentleman I worked with years ago often quoted this wisdom from his mother, “There are three sides to every story: yours, mine and what really happened.”
God sees the overview and knows what’s in our hearts. He knits us together with the people we need and He directs our paths. Watch out for the potholes, road blocks and pits. Sometimes these things we view as obstacles actually protect us, from the things we cannot see ahead. Other times they help us grow deeper roots of Faith to help us stand against the mighty winds. Trust God and He will see you through. He sent His Son to die on the cross, to forgive the sins of a fallen world. Grace. There is grace and forgiveness to cover our humanness. Praise God. Praise Him for the little things and the BIG ones. Praise Him in song, in words, sometimes spoken aloud, other times typed in an email, tweet, blog post, even on Facebook.
Facebook. Brings me full circle. Ugh. Stupid Facebook. Part of me wants to ditch Facebook World completely. I still may, but not quite yet. I’m thankful for the people I am connected to, whether we interact much, or not. I hop on and hop off, reading, “liking,” and commenting. Sometimes saying too much. I’m me. It’s how I’m made. Typing forums are dangerous for me because words have a way of pouring out. Honest words, from the heart. I’m not perfect, no where near, never have been, never will be, never was. I’m just a human woman, with the tendency to be a chatterbox. I try to follow my mother’s advice, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
January 25, 2014
Last day of 2013 today.
It all happened.
You saw me through.
Faith, and the prayers of many.
Thankful for unconditional love of family and friends who know me best, better than I know myself.
Joy, Peace and Love are ahead.
Hope is the Light that doesn’t extinguish even in the darkest Dark.
Here’s to making art and writing for real in 2014.
I’m walking toward it, in cowgirl boots!
Happy New Year!
*sparkly heart kind*
December 31, 2013
No one knows what is going to happen next except for God. We are putty in His hands. He has us all right where He wants us. Looking UP at Him, our noses buried in His Holy Book, and leaning on one another, Christian brothers and sisters He knit us together with, for encouraging words support we crave and need because we are human people. Imperfect in every way. We need Him. He is ours and we are His. God has this covered from every direction. Why is trusting that completely still so hard?! Humanness. Lay your burden down at the base of the cross and don’t pick it back up.
November 15, 2013
Fear has held me back a lot
It still does
It takes so much inner fortitude to press through that wall of fear
Fear can be paralyzing
It is a hurdle to go over, around, under or through
Another metaphor is a mountain
Then it’s time for a mountain moving prayer
Faith as small as a mustard seed can move a mountain (Matthew 17:20)
God’s Word tells us quite frequently to, “Fear Not”
This is yet another of the many lessons I’m in the midst of learning
Holding on to God’s promises and telling the Devil to “Be Gone”
Easier said than done
That’s why we have community and prayer
November 10, 2013
my body…broke inside
so no one can see
but i know now i will be fine
i’m on my knees…finally me
i look to the Heavens
my arms spread open wide
sometimes Faith takes time
for those who are broke…inside
He see’s what others cannot
He accepts my faults from above
He takes my hand and leads me home
He sacrificed His Son to show His love
He is my refuge and my fortress
He is where my strength comes from
He protects me in the shadow of His wings
He cares for me, loves me
He forgives me again and again
He provides for the sparrows
and also for me and my boys
I am thankful
So very thankful
What a journey it has been
Climbing mountains so steep
Wandering in the vast wilderness
Desert dry as we sought an oasis
Mountains moved by Faith
Paths appearing where there seemed no way
Hope springing eternal
A fount of many blessings
Through it all we pray
Renewal in the final weeks
Walking through the valley
of the shadow of death
God’s promises are real
He goes before you
He prepares the way
Do not be ashamed
He will never leave you
Pray “Your will, not mine”
and know that He is God
The God of Moses
The God of Daniel
The God of David
Father of Jesus
He is our Father
He is there
He will heal your heart
Trust Him today
October 27, 2013
two months and a day since my husband died
Taking Stock…The Things That Matter Most: my body…broke insideso no one can seebut i know now i will be finei’m…
I’m trying to be still and know that He is God, from the Psalms.
I am trying to Trust and Fear Not.
It is hard.
Faith is believing in things that cannot be seen.
Love is the biggest of all.
I am a Hope Full woman.
I’m also held together really carefully on the inside right now.
written Monday, March 18, 2013
Christmas break is already half over.
Time is flying by.
Anticipating the promise of the new year to come.
Holding on to faith, hope and love.
December 28, 2012
Dear Sad Girl,
Your eyes have lost their sparkle.
Must be those dark circles, detracting and subtracting the twinkle from your eyes, the windows to your creative soul.
Your face is set and sullen.
That grin that once was impish, now set in a line or hangin’ inside down.
Holy hell what a mess.
I know it’s hard now, in this moment, but we’ll get you through this.
Someday soon Faith, Hope and Love will heal the wounds within.
Keep on going.
Day by day abiding.
The loving arms of friends and family will catch you when you fall.
So try to find your smile.
Savor Joy in the quiet colors of the dawn.
Pep talks are FREE and plentiful.
Hugs are often the best medicine.
Love is the easy part.
Start by being gentle with yourself.
November 17, 2012
We had some more rain this evening followed by the biggest, brightest, most beautiful rainbow I’ve ever seen stretch across several houses that face my own backyard. I looked for a rainbow such as this all last summer. A sign from God that He keeps His promises. The significance of seeing a rainbow today, tonight, after a brief rainstorm, is that the printed copies of my oldest son’s book arrived today. The one he wrote for 4-H. The one that honors his father and the fight he’s been fighting for over a year now. The title is, “On May 25”. It’s a beaut of a little book that also honors the Lord as my twelve year old shares his heart, faith, belief in the power of prayer and the comfort that comes from the prayers of many for our family during this difficult time. My heart was already dancing, soaring and flying. This rainbow, a double rainbow, was an unexpected gift. SO BIG! SO BEAUTIFUL! Praying this new type of chemotherapy works. Praying for complete healing from stage four cancer. Praying to weather this storm with my family of four intact for many years to come. Thank you, God, for the reminder that You are there. Always. From the dark of night to the glow of sunrise, until the sun sets once more, and sometimes, the most special of times, You are in the translucent glow of a rainbow in a perfectly formed half circle.
July 26, 2012