all dogs go to Heaven

Blue Baird (September 26, 2011-May 1, 2018) Monday night Blue was much weaker, wobbly standing. I called the vet, to schedule a time if he made it through the night. He did. On Tuesday Blue spent the whole morning belly in the grass, listening to the birds, soaking up sunshine, watching the world go by. The vet came to the house around 11:30am. Blue and I sat in the grass in the front yard. The boys were inside, having already said goodbye. By 11:45am Blue’s spirit was gone. Oh. My heart. Big, sweet dog I loved. This picture of Blue and I is from yesterday morning at 8:55am, enjoying backyard sun, a few hours before his death.

May 2, 2018

Advertisements

Day 2: embarking

  
Day 2 of green goo food went some better. I mixed it less soupy and Blue considered eating a little longer before walking away. 

In other news, the boys, their overnight friends and I ate still warm krispy kreme donuts and watched The Goldbergs on TV. Both xboxes are in full swing now. [Written to the sound of trash talk and blaster fire.] Blue is curled up zzzz’ing next to Travis on the love seat dreaming of the canned soft food he hopes will magically appear in his bowl again. Maybe.

Round two of donut eating will begin soon when my friend and two more boys arrive anytime now. Happy Saturday! 

Ocrober 24, 2015

unexpected heart skip

Thankful for neighbors who know Blue and me. That dog got loose from the backyard leash tonight. I didn’t know until the phone rang and I was asked, “Do you have a dog named Blue?” Thankfully, after a joy run described as, “he was running fast,” Blue went to Becca and her friend Steve when they called him. That alone is amazing, wonderful and rare without Blue bait in the form of a treat or pretty girl dog. Becca used Tilly’s leash to walk him the short distance home. Scared me. I didn’t know they had him when I hung up the phone. I shouted to the boys to help me catch him, grabbed his leash and went out the front door and saw them. Situation under control. *Relief* Crazy dog that is crashed out, conked, happily asleep dreaming doggy dreams now. Thankful it all happened before dark and he is OK and home. 

Mother’s Day

The birds serenaded Blue and I on our early morning walk. Thankfully the pouring rain from earlier had stopped, though we’d have walked anyway. Enjoying breakfast now and some quiet time before the boys wake up. I love being their mom. My oldest son gave me my Mother’s Day gift early by going to the Good Friday artist reception and service in April. My younger son wrote me a poem that I’m not supposed to know about, but I saw the rough draft on accident while looking for his weekly report. Since he was out sick three days last week his awesome teacher sent it home with Friday’s homework with a post-it, “For Andrew’s Eyes Only :-)” I didn’t peek! Hope everyone I know has a blessed day filled with abundant love that overflows. Hug each other close. I had no idea how much my parents loved me until I became a mom. I get it now. Love that knows no bounds.

May 10, 2015

kitchen mouse

IMG_6038.JPG

“Hello little mouse.
Welcome home to your house.”
Words I said to my youngest son as we met at the top of the stairs.
He’d just returned home from an overnight with friends.
He was walking up.
I was about to descend after starting a load of laundry.
He was almost to his bedroom with a twin pack of Little Debbie snack cakes in his hand.
He hadn’t gotten there quite fast enough.
He replied with a grin and attempted a Jedi mind trick with the words, “You didn’t see anything.”
Oh, but I did.
The pantry is self serve and holds a plethora of goodies.
If only the food refilled automatically…
Though from his point of view, it does.
Gradually, when favorites are “disappeared” from one too many mouse raids, the children are learning to recycle the empty boxes and tell me if something is nearly or completely gone.
[creak of pantry door]
[tip toe tip toe away]
[crinkle of the wrapper]
[mmmmm so yum]
NOTE TO MOUSE: Throw the “evidence” away.
*squeak*

March 15, 2015
This conversation really occurred at the top of the stairs around 10:30 this morning. Afterwards I checked the pantry and there is at least one unopened box of Little Debbie snack cakes remaining. My oldest son calls this particular flavor, “Heaven Bites.” They must be really, REALLY good!

getting unstuck

Sitting at my kitchen table
Still in pjs
Drinking coffee
Blue on guard in the backyard
[quietly]
Boys voices drifting up
[talking over video game sounds]

I took a long hot soaking bath with a light book yesterday
Had a good day but was tired and fried
That helped
A lot
I’ll do it again
I forget to
Best of all woke up early [4:40a] but fell back asleep until 7a
Bliss

[PAUSE]

Dog woofed
He jumped the crooked bent ineffective wire mesh garden fence and got stuck
Out of leash but also the leash clasp was caught around the edge of the fence
Stuck
Unclipped him
Bent fence down enough he could jump
Loved him
He scared himself
For today anyway
He followed me in
Muddy paws which he hates having touched
Got a layer of dirt off
My house is nowhere near spotless
Ever
A little garden dirt won’t hurt

Poured the last of my coffee
Not rushing anywhere today
I am so thankful for lack of rush

October 26, 2014
A diary of my Sunday morning moments that occurred between 8:18a and 8:51a today. I can pinpoint the timing so exactly because this is an excerpt of an email reply I sent to my cousin. On a wild whim decided to share this snippet from my life here too. I’ve been quiet in my public writing spots. Have needed to be. Still do. ~Janean

Promise

milkshakesandheartaches:

I hope on the 

ashen stone

that will stand

above,

you will sing

me a song

of how much 

my life affected

thee.

Do not weep

or leave me

flowers that

will wither,

just promise

to bestow your

beauty for

those whose

eyes still see.

Yes. This. Thank you for writing it. Monday it will be six months since my husband died. “Sing a song” and “bestow beauty.” Life is happening now. We are to live it. Grieving is part of my/our journey. We loved. We mourn. We miss him. We remember. We are still alive. Speaking for my boys and I. So many loved and cared for him and prayed us through. Our family that we made together. We are thankful and blessed. Again and again. “Sing a song” and “bestow beauty.” Got it. Will do. Yes. This.

February 22, 2014