getting unstuck

Sitting at my kitchen table
Still in pjs
Drinking coffee
Blue on guard in the backyard
[quietly]
Boys voices drifting up
[talking over video game sounds]

I took a long hot soaking bath with a light book yesterday
Had a good day but was tired and fried
That helped
A lot
I’ll do it again
I forget to
Best of all woke up early [4:40a] but fell back asleep until 7a
Bliss

[PAUSE]

Dog woofed
He jumped the crooked bent ineffective wire mesh garden fence and got stuck
Out of leash but also the leash clasp was caught around the edge of the fence
Stuck
Unclipped him
Bent fence down enough he could jump
Loved him
He scared himself
For today anyway
He followed me in
Muddy paws which he hates having touched
Got a layer of dirt off
My house is nowhere near spotless
Ever
A little garden dirt won’t hurt

Poured the last of my coffee
Not rushing anywhere today
I am so thankful for lack of rush

October 26, 2014
A diary of my Sunday morning moments that occurred between 8:18a and 8:51a today. I can pinpoint the timing so exactly because this is an excerpt of an email reply I sent to my cousin. On a wild whim decided to share this snippet from my life here too. I’ve been quiet in my public writing spots. Have needed to be. Still do. ~Janean

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smiling aunt heaven (part 2)

That sweet, two year old girl wanted to go UPstairs, looking for her big four year old brother and bigger twelve year old cousin. She walked into the bedroom and said, “Where are the guys?” I replied, “They are DOWNstairs.”

So, she and I scooched down the stairs on our bottoms, laughing aloud the whole entire way. She led the way to the basement stairs, located just around the corner. I was surprised when she paused at the tippy top, handed me her wooden cars, said “Scared” and lifted her arms for “up.” 

As if I weren’t already head over heels in love, with my one and only niece, she looked at me with the cutest grin, and adamantly declared, “Let’s draw!” Oh, I found crayons and paper FAST! 

Good medicine. The best kind. Lotsa lotsa love.

~ Aunt Janean

January 12, 2013

I have a hanky in my pocket
I’m leakin’ all kinds of tears
my heart, oh how it’s hurtin’
some solace waits for me there
my parents went south yesterday
the highway called their name
my cousin always lives there
next door to Grrr
who got me on this train
for grandpa’s birthday is the reason
number 97 is nearly here
I’m arrivin’ one day early
today’s the day I could come
“Happy last day of 96!”
I brought the last jar of alien goo
they’re really, “Green Tomato Pickles”
but either way, I made ‘em just for you

written Thursday, November 8, 2012
as I rode the southbound train from Normal to Alton, Illinois
the first leg of the trip

a Mississippi morning dawns

with a whisper of sounds

from the river road

a crowing rooster

and the warm colors

of the sunrise

from deep orange

to a whisper of pink

still showing 

along the horizon

I stand in the old pasture

rolling terrain

reaching from atop the bluff

to the mighty river below

how I love this very spot

and the people who reside

on this rocky hill

and the glow

of the January sun

on my face

as I visit my grandfather

and parents

my cousins too

at Evergreen Heights

in southern Illinois

my heart home