wolf whispers

on the train
heading home
lost in my own thoughts
my heart hurting
a sweet sound breaks through
that of a child howling
not crying, squalling, or fussing
howling
like a wolf at the moon
AH-OOO!
[but not too loudly]
it was a quieter, “ah-ooo”
made me smile
I peeked around my window seat and said aloud to the brown eyed boy behind me, “Is there a wolf back there?”
his eyes got bigger
as did his mother’s smile
I told him I like to howl like a wolf too
added that I have a big dog that looks like a wolf with a long nose and pointy ears and that he has a girlfriend that howled if he didn’t visit her fence fast enough when we went on walks
he has three dogs at home
one of them is named Luna
the same as Blue’s best girl
thankful for this brief moment
on the train taking me home
the day after a memorial service
for my grandfather
he was a moon howler too
great big, giant and loud, “AH-OOO!”
though for thoughtfulness of others
such as inside and on a train car
a quiet, nearly whispered, “ah-ooo”
I love you, Grandpa
Forever
your life’s work and legacy will live on
inside everyone who ever met and knew you and through your stories, music and poems
ah-ooo
ah-ooo
ah-ooo

April 12, 2015

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back to routine

7:27am
-Blue gave up fussing about not being able to see his dog buddy Jake, and decided to just eat breakfast instead.
-8th grade boy was shocked, amazed and thrilled to find a new MythBusters on the DVR this morning. You see, it’s not just a new MythBusters, but A NEW STAR WARS MYTHBUSTERS!!!! Are you kidding me?! Pure awesome right there.
-Best of all, thanks to the folks at Discovery Channel, that TV show was the incentive my 5th grade boy needed to come out from under the layers of cozy covers where he was burrowed when I told him it was wake up time, a little after 7a.
Up, dressed, breakfast, backpacks with lunches packed…we just might make it.
7:33am now
Gotta go!

The words above were posted in real time as my Facebook status. It is 8:24am as I post them here at Tumblr. I just walked through my front door, after delivering one boy curbside and waiting with the other until the bus arrived. It did. *whew* My breakfast time is next. Coffee. Taking my mom to the train station mid morning. I have a whisper of an idea for how I’m going to spend my day, but I’m not yet telling. Wednesday today. All day. Going to make it A Good One! First step is taking my winter coat off. I’m holding my phone with a turquoise knitted glove and typing with my thumb. I will. Letting the words flow ‘til then…

I had fun printing out poems and snippets of thoughts about my Blue dog last night. This morning I put them in a 3-ring binder for my Grandpa with a pic on the cover and the title, “The Blue Collection.” A belated gift for my poet, story telling, fiddlin’ Grandpa.
I’m taking the last last jar of Alien Goo to him too, a.k.a. Green Tomato Pickles. I found ‘em hiding in the back of the pantry. Here I thought I’d delivered that last jar in November, when I made a trip via southbound train, the day before his 97th birthday.
Turns out I have a thing for packin’ pickles on the train. For I’m ridin’ the rails again today, but not alone, for my magical sister is sittin’ alongside me. We are not talkin’ as much as I expected. Just sorta chillin’ and enjoyin’ sittin’ quietly, playin’ on our idevices.
It is a beautiful day. A blue sky one, without any clouds in it. Oh, so lovely.

January 16, 2013

I’m cryin’ as I write this
I feel like such a mess
wearin’ my cowgirl boots for courage
first time I’ve worn ‘em here
yet it’s the only fittin’ thing to do
I wanna tromp across the pasture
where the horses used to graze
and stand still in the barnyard
where we curried, combed and praised
those two horses of my childhood
Santas, short and stubborn
Copper, tall and true
how I loved them
and the time we spent
atop their steady backs
followin’ the trail you set
ridin’ double
or walkin’ side by side
trottin’ was for sometimes
gallopin’ hardly never
I’m cryin’ as I write this
nothin’ weak in that
you’ve always led by example
some lessons are harder than others
oh, how we both know
I’m writin’ heart thoughts that seem random
but go together ‘cause they do
got my boots and denim on
just like you

written Thursday, November 8, 2012
as I rode the southbound train from Normal to Alton, Illinois
the first leg of the trip

I have a hanky in my pocket
I’m leakin’ all kinds of tears
my heart, oh how it’s hurtin’
some solace waits for me there
my parents went south yesterday
the highway called their name
my cousin always lives there
next door to Grrr
who got me on this train
for grandpa’s birthday is the reason
number 97 is nearly here
I’m arrivin’ one day early
today’s the day I could come
“Happy last day of 96!”
I brought the last jar of alien goo
they’re really, “Green Tomato Pickles”
but either way, I made ‘em just for you

written Thursday, November 8, 2012
as I rode the southbound train from Normal to Alton, Illinois
the first leg of the trip

takin’ the train
and headin’ south
leavin’ town
just for the day
runnin’ to my heart home
where the eagles fly
and white tail play
goin’ to the big brown house
sittin’ high atop the bluff
the home place
thick with woods
and wild things
lookin’ out o’er the river
the mighty Miss-is-ip
Grandpa’s River
since always
travelin’ round trip

written Thursday, November 8, 2012
as I rode the southbound train from Normal to Alton, Illinois
the first leg of the trip