color view

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the sky seems extra blue today
I tip my sunglasses up
so vivid, rich and bright in hue
giving the illusion of warm
despite the chill
of a gusty March wind
cold
cutting through

the sky seems extra blue
perhaps due to the brightness
of the sun
or the contrast
of puffy white clouds
floating merrily above

the sky seems extra blue
as the dog and I meander
along familiar streets
in our neighborhood
he stops to sniff
while I daydream
lollygagging
over thinking
tug his leash and say,
“Let’s go home, Blue.”

the sky seems extra blue
because my heart is so full
blessings abound
the love of family and friends
provision from The Lord
there is art to make
two skies to paint
one a sunset
one in blue
much like today

the sky seems extra blue
because I am thinking
of you and me
what was
what wasn’t
what will never be
these are the things I ponder
as I wander
while walking the dog

Does anyone else look at the sky this way?

March 23, 2014

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I am sitting on the ledge.
Waiting.
Wishing.
Hoping, for anybody to come save me.
But they didn’t.
They never came.
Instead, they waited for me to jump.

PoorGirlRichWoman.tumblr.com (via poorgirlrichwoman)

That is when you decide you just needed some quiet time and a bird’s eye view to give you a new perspective. Things aren’t as dire and dark as they momentarily appeared. You already have the courage, strength and stamina to save yourself. You are brave and strong. There is a beacon of hope within that nothing can snuff out. It is time to begin again, soaring like an eagle. You discover you prefer this sky high view, closer to the clouds. Birds of a feather flock together. I’ll meet you in the air. *chirp*

Suicide is never the answer. You don’t get to choose your last day. Only God knows when it will be. You have today. Life is a gift. LIVE IT. You are never all alone. The God of the Universe is always as close as a prayer. He is available 24/7. Talk to Him if you can’t bring yourself to phone a friend. Please. I beg you.

January 19, 2014

smiles from the sidewalk
the line up at the bus stop
a glorious male cardinal
chirping from the treetops
that crazy fallen nest
is still resting on the sidewalk
I took another picture
I had to
it’s still there
Blue and Luna touching noses
then my big sweet boy
whispering in her pointed ear
chimes chime
I know not from where
not quite a gong
beautiful
melodic
wind chimes
that’s the sound of my drum
the one I march to
chimes chiming
a sound in the stillness
Blue tugs to cross the street
he sees a lucky dog
threefold lucky
a fenced yard
a frisbee
someone to throw it
and no restrictive leash
fourfold, I guess
back inside now
still smiling from the sidewalk
as I walk through my front door
the new one
with the bare tree
moulded in glass
a friend texts me
artwork from her classroom
snowmen and bare trees
I spy the crinkled snowman rug
Blue drags it around
I put it by the door
to catch snow slush
I reply with words
a smile
and end with
*happy sigh*
sharing my sidewalk smiles
with you

January 16, 2014

Cheers

Last day of 2013 today.
It all happened.
You saw me through.
Faith, and the prayers of many.
Thankful for unconditional love of family and friends who know me best, better than I know myself.
Joy, Peace and Love are ahead.
In abundance!
Hope is the Light that doesn’t extinguish even in the darkest Dark.
Here’s to making art and writing for real in 2014.
I’m walking toward it, in cowgirl boots!
Happy New Year!
LOVE,
*sparkly heart kind*
Janean

December 31, 2013

Taking Stock…The Things That Matter Most: my body…broke insideso no one can seebut i know now i will be finei’m…

takingstockofwhatmattersmost:

my body…broke inside
so no one can see
but i know now i will be fine
i’m on my knees…finally me

i look to the Heavens
my arms spread open wide
sometimes Faith takes time
for those who are broke…inside

He see’s what others cannot
He accepts my faults from above
He takes my hand and leads me home
He sacrificed His Son to show His love

He is my refuge and my fortress
He is where my strength comes from
He protects me in the shadow of His wings
He cares for me, loves me
He forgives me again and again
He provides for the sparrows
and also for me and my boys
I am thankful
So very thankful
What a journey it has been
Climbing mountains so steep
Wandering in the vast wilderness
Desert dry as we sought an oasis
Mountains moved by Faith
Paths appearing where there seemed no way
Hope springing eternal
A fount of many blessings
Through it all we pray
Renewal in the final weeks
Walking through the valley
of the shadow of death
God’s promises are real
His covenants
He goes before you
He prepares the way
Fear not
Do not be ashamed
He will never leave you
Pray “Your will, not mine”
Be still
and know that He is God
The God of Moses
The God of Daniel
The God of David
Father of Jesus
He is our Father
in Heaven
He is there
He will heal your heart
Trust Him today

October 27, 2013
two months and a day since my husband died

Taking Stock…The Things That Matter Most: my body…broke insideso no one can seebut i know now i will be finei’m…

Just Start

Change occurs over time.
Especially transforming change.
The outcome reflects the choices you make.
You decide how to live your life.
Food you eat.
Words you speak.
Friends you make.
Love you give and receive.
Today is new.
Make it fabulous, like you!
~Janean

July 29, 2013
These are the encouraging words I posted at Work in Progress on Facebook today with a photo of butterflies emerging from their cocoons and the words, “Trust The Process.”

dream time

lullaby and goodnight
starlight and moonbeam dreams
float along on Cloud 9
behind your closed eyelids
as your mind whirs a l’il less and slowly spins
smiles and sweetly whispered words sent your way like a soothing balm
may solid black zzzzz’s find you
so that when morning comes you stretch and yawn and are ready to tackle the dawn
‘cause you are sated, rested and smiling instead of growling
lullaby and goodnight
starlight and moonbeam dreams
to You
~ Me

February 27, 2013

I have a hanky in my pocket
I’m leakin’ all kinds of tears
my heart, oh how it’s hurtin’
some solace waits for me there
my parents went south yesterday
the highway called their name
my cousin always lives there
next door to Grrr
who got me on this train
for grandpa’s birthday is the reason
number 97 is nearly here
I’m arrivin’ one day early
today’s the day I could come
“Happy last day of 96!”
I brought the last jar of alien goo
they’re really, “Green Tomato Pickles”
but either way, I made ‘em just for you

written Thursday, November 8, 2012
as I rode the southbound train from Normal to Alton, Illinois
the first leg of the trip