Dear Younger Me

age 21, May 1993

Dear Younger Me,

You are stronger than you know.
Everything is going to be OK even though it is different than we could have ever known or planned.

You have good intuition, listen to it.
Strive for head-heart-gut alignment when making decisions. If one or more is jangling, there is a reason. Pay attention, take time to pause, and figure it out. 

Everything that comes before brings you to where you are now. 
The journey is not easy and the lessons are many. 
Peace is the goal: a peace-full home, a peaceful vibe, and peace in your body more often than fight or flight. 

Speak up. Say exactly what you think. Be bold. It is OK to not be liked by everyone. Not everyone is for you and part of your tribe. Love one another, the greatest commandment, yes. Also, learn about boundaries and practice self care.

It is OK to feel all of your feelings and express them. 
Don’t bite your tongue.
Don’t tamp down.
Trust yourself. 
Stay close to your family of birth, they love you biggest, most, best, forever, and always. 

Spend time with your grandparents.
Take notes.
Ask questions.
Learn about your ancestors.

Grit, steel, grace, and love, that’s what Janean Thompson is made of. 

You can keep your maiden name for always. Ms. keeps people guessing as to whether or not you are single, married, or some variable. 

Love yourself. Love is an inside job. Start there and grow. 
You have a knack for growing peace lilies. 
They talk to you.

You are brave and courageous and strong and fierce and a warrior.

Stay close to God.
God loves you and will never leave you.
Faith grows and yours is tangible, believing in what cannot be seen.
Hope is part of your DNA.
Joy is abundant in you, even on the hardest, darkest days.
Sit in the sunshine.
Walk in the rain. 
Delight in snowball fights at every/any age.

Wear boots for courage.
Keep going fishing.
Keep making art for you, even without a classroom assignment. Do it for you. 
Learn the rules of poetry or just write it.

Say hello to strangers because they may become friends.
Life is a beautiful, complex journey.
Have fun as often as possible, and fun is always possible. 

There is more, I’m trying to avoid spoiler alerts. 

Your friendships with other women will sustain you and give you strength on the days you feel depleted. There is strength in women gathering and sharing their real without masks or facades. 

“Real like The Velveteen Rabbit” is the benchmark for beauty and love.

Here is the checklist that sees you through lots of hard stuff:
1. Take it day by day
2. Show up
3. Do what’s next
4. Find the joy
5. Thank God

You’ve got this.
God’s got you.
Everything is going to be OK. 
It is OK to ask for help.
Rest when you need to. 
Love and trust God and yourself (instincts).

All My Love,
Janean, age 49

December 12, 2020

age 48, August 2020

unexpected heart skip

Thankful for neighbors who know Blue and me. That dog got loose from the backyard leash tonight. I didn’t know until the phone rang and I was asked, “Do you have a dog named Blue?” Thankfully, after a joy run described as, “he was running fast,” Blue went to Becca and her friend Steve when they called him. That alone is amazing, wonderful and rare without Blue bait in the form of a treat or pretty girl dog. Becca used Tilly’s leash to walk him the short distance home. Scared me. I didn’t know they had him when I hung up the phone. I shouted to the boys to help me catch him, grabbed his leash and went out the front door and saw them. Situation under control. *Relief* Crazy dog that is crashed out, conked, happily asleep dreaming doggy dreams now. Thankful it all happened before dark and he is OK and home. 

Spring renewal

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Spring has been extra beautiful this year
maybe it’s because winter was so extra cold and snowy
maybe it’s just because every spring my heart soars as the trees and flowers bud and bloom
daffodils have come and gone
tulips are still tuliping
lilacs are just beginning
magnolias and forsythia fade into redbuds and the white burst of Bradford Pears
oh
Springtime
the sky seems extra blue
the birds serenade with the most melodious of songs
especially this morning
in the quiet stillness
of that moment just before dawn
I heard them through my bedroom window
saw the sun filtering in
heard the dog stir
we walked
few cars
just us and a few other early dogs
thankful for the lack of wind
savoring the sunshine and blue skies
a backdrop for the renewal of Spring
it’s all rather glorious
simple joys
early on a Sunday morning

May 4, 2014

still usable

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Working at my art table this morning.
Making two pieces of art for the Good Friday art show next Friday.
Grabbed a stack of brushes and saw my maiden name written on one.
It’s a 25 year old brush from my freshman year in college.
Still usable.
Happy and a little weepy all rolled into one.
I’m going to paint a sky now.
A blue one.
I knew the title of the piece before it was begun.
“Rebuild”
I am.
With paper, paint, scissors and glue.
And love, hugs, laughter, ice cream, tears and lots of help from my family and friends.
It all swirls together.
Life and art.

April 10, 2014

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Minecraft lesson #2

Week two of Xbox 360 Minecraft lessons from my sons. My youngest boy was my teacher today. He made, “Blow Crap Up World” and taught me how to use TNT. It is kinda fun… I’m grinning after playing for around thirty minutes, before saying, “Enough.” Cooking up some bacon for two sleepyheaded boys for breakfast next. My incentive to learn how to move better, with the foreign feeling controller, was that if I could track and catch him, I could have a dog. I caught him. Hearts appear. Now I have a virtual canine companion too. Cool. Minecraft has a dragon in a dark portal lair. My youngest son slayed him. Proud Mama here. Said aloud, “I’m not an Xbox Girl.” My sons think there is hope for me though. Well, of course there is. I’m A Hope Full Woman for sure. A long time ago, I played Frogger on Atari. I even remember when Pong was cool. Yes. I’m that freaking old, typed with a smile and a bubbling laugh, because at 42 I feel like I’m just getting started. I am.

January 19, 2014

Blue dog had me laughing on the sidewalk this morning. First, he unearthed this ginormous stick from under the snow, then he turned around and proceeded to carry it home, with his tail wagging to and fro. Every so often he’d turning his head to the side and grin at me, careful to keep his prized giant stick clamped between his wolf-like teeth. This dog, he’s good for me in so many ways. There was no stopping for a photo op either, I took this photo on the move. I took several. This is the only one that shows the whole entire stick, end to end, as well as the end of my gray mittened hand. We’re inside now. Thawing out. Escapades from our second walk of the day. There will be more. Escapades and walks. For the record, I call this, “Blue’s Stick Relocation Program.” He picks them up here, drops them there, and circles back to pick them up again, days later. Funniest of all, was Blue looking over toward Luna’s fence as he walked by. Wanting to show off to his best girl just a l’il, like the hound dog that he is when it comes to pretty girl dogs, squirrels and rabbits. Dog. He’s a dog. Mine. Well, we belong to each other. Woof.

January 3, 2014

The last sunset of 2013 was a cool blend of blue sky and puffy white clouds with bands of pastel stripes. Gorgeous bare trees in the foreground make the background all the more lovely. Happy New Year, have fun and stay safe tonight! Cheers to 2014, may it hold lots of peace, joy and love. ~Janean

December 31, 2013

Cheers

Last day of 2013 today.
It all happened.
You saw me through.
Faith, and the prayers of many.
Thankful for unconditional love of family and friends who know me best, better than I know myself.
Joy, Peace and Love are ahead.
In abundance!
Hope is the Light that doesn’t extinguish even in the darkest Dark.
Here’s to making art and writing for real in 2014.
I’m walking toward it, in cowgirl boots!
Happy New Year!
LOVE,
*sparkly heart kind*
Janean

December 31, 2013

moving forward

I purposely stayed out of my Online World yesterday. I wanted to enjoy the moment I was in. I did. There were many beautiful ones. Smiles. Hugs. Laughter. Presents. Discarded wrapping paper. Happy boys. Funny Blue stories. Pictures. Memories of Mike spoken aloud. Other memories held close inside. Not too many tears. May the joy and magic of Christmas live in your hearts all year. Christmas is all about the LOVE. Let’s carry more of that into the new year.

December 26, 2013