Dear Younger Me

age 21, May 1993

Dear Younger Me,

You are stronger than you know.
Everything is going to be OK even though it is different than we could have ever known or planned.

You have good intuition, listen to it.
Strive for head-heart-gut alignment when making decisions. If one or more is jangling, there is a reason. Pay attention, take time to pause, and figure it out. 

Everything that comes before brings you to where you are now. 
The journey is not easy and the lessons are many. 
Peace is the goal: a peace-full home, a peaceful vibe, and peace in your body more often than fight or flight. 

Speak up. Say exactly what you think. Be bold. It is OK to not be liked by everyone. Not everyone is for you and part of your tribe. Love one another, the greatest commandment, yes. Also, learn about boundaries and practice self care.

It is OK to feel all of your feelings and express them. 
Don’t bite your tongue.
Don’t tamp down.
Trust yourself. 
Stay close to your family of birth, they love you biggest, most, best, forever, and always. 

Spend time with your grandparents.
Take notes.
Ask questions.
Learn about your ancestors.

Grit, steel, grace, and love, that’s what Janean Thompson is made of. 

You can keep your maiden name for always. Ms. keeps people guessing as to whether or not you are single, married, or some variable. 

Love yourself. Love is an inside job. Start there and grow. 
You have a knack for growing peace lilies. 
They talk to you.

You are brave and courageous and strong and fierce and a warrior.

Stay close to God.
God loves you and will never leave you.
Faith grows and yours is tangible, believing in what cannot be seen.
Hope is part of your DNA.
Joy is abundant in you, even on the hardest, darkest days.
Sit in the sunshine.
Walk in the rain. 
Delight in snowball fights at every/any age.

Wear boots for courage.
Keep going fishing.
Keep making art for you, even without a classroom assignment. Do it for you. 
Learn the rules of poetry or just write it.

Say hello to strangers because they may become friends.
Life is a beautiful, complex journey.
Have fun as often as possible, and fun is always possible. 

There is more, I’m trying to avoid spoiler alerts. 

Your friendships with other women will sustain you and give you strength on the days you feel depleted. There is strength in women gathering and sharing their real without masks or facades. 

“Real like The Velveteen Rabbit” is the benchmark for beauty and love.

Here is the checklist that sees you through lots of hard stuff:
1. Take it day by day
2. Show up
3. Do what’s next
4. Find the joy
5. Thank God

You’ve got this.
God’s got you.
Everything is going to be OK. 
It is OK to ask for help.
Rest when you need to. 
Love and trust God and yourself (instincts).

All My Love,
Janean, age 49

December 12, 2020

age 48, August 2020

the In Between

In reply to the question I posed in, “I think too much”, earlier today 

takingstockofwhatmattersmost wrote, “You must walk along the razors edge of reading and writing…not to mention family, friends, work, etc.”

I cut myself on razors. 

I am not good at juggling. 

I am not good at balancing. 

I am not good at boundary setting.

I tend to be All or Nothing.

All in.

Or all out.

A Balanced Life is the In Between. 

Striving for that. 

May take a whole lifetime to achieve it. 

I’m having a hard time with this lesson. 

Hoping I have more ahead of me, than the years I’ve lived to date.

© 2011 Turquoise Tangles

my thirsty soul

novicepen:

You offer overflowing love
to everyone else and
leave nothing for yourself

You hope to save
a lost soul
but you don’t even
know how to save
your own

You give too much
water to the thirsty
and forget about
the thirst in your throat

Now look in the mirror
and see what you’ve become
Remember that the
things you offer to people
you can offer yourself too

novicepen,
THANK YOU MUCH, for this beautiful reminder to feed our own soul. My mother’s advice is, “Put yourself on The List”. Several friends advised, “Boundaries”, when they noticed my thirsty soul, and then encouraged me to pursue the things that water it. Making and teaching art, and writing poetry and prose, is The Best Thirst Quencher In The World, for me. Art and Writing are My Oasis In The Desert.
~ Janean