routine maintenance

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The firefighters just flushed the hydrant in front of my house
Little unexpected excitement
Blue heard Jake barking while they did the hydrant around the corner
We had to go investigate
Saw the water spraying but stopped by the fence for the dogs to say hi and didn’t go around the corner
Saw three young children and their parents splashing in the street
Smiled at their happy
Then here came the truck to park by our curb
We watched from the sidewalk across the street
‘We’ being two dogs, three adults and the three hopeful children wanting to splash some more
This hydrant not making as many puddles as before
No splashing after all
Parting ways with, “Have a good day” and “See you later”
Blue and I cross for home
Staying dry other than bare feet through the puddles in the street
My boys slept through it
Had it not been for my dog I’d have missed it too

July 5, 2014
A snapshot of a moment from before 9:30am. My oldest woke up right after the dog and I came inside. The youngest will appear with some prodding before noon. The lazy hazy days of summertime are here.

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Where is the bus?

Monday morning after the time change.
My fifth grade boy wanted to stay burrowed in his bed.
Eventually he got up, ate and dressed.
The school bus was 20 minutes late.
An unusual occurrence.
A snowball fight ensued.
Throwing, dodging, trash talk, laughter, and a few hits too.
Where is the bus?
Each creak and squeak carried on the air got our hopes up.
Nope.
Dump truck.
End loader.
It’s also garbage day in our neighborhood.
What time is it?
We speculated on where the bus might be.
Broken down?
Driver overslept?
Or got amnesia?
One boy asked, “What’s that?”
I replied, “When you forget who you are.”
Then we saw the flash of yellow begin as the bus appeared around a corner.
The bus!
There it is!
Finally.
Just in a nick o’time to take the children to school without being late.
All snow play ceased as the line formed once again.
One by one they step aboard.
“Good morning,” says the driver.
*whew*
Made it.

March 10, 2014
Nothing like a little bit of extra excitement on a groggy Monday, the day after the time change.

I am sitting on the ledge.
Waiting.
Wishing.
Hoping, for anybody to come save me.
But they didn’t.
They never came.
Instead, they waited for me to jump.

PoorGirlRichWoman.tumblr.com (via poorgirlrichwoman)

That is when you decide you just needed some quiet time and a bird’s eye view to give you a new perspective. Things aren’t as dire and dark as they momentarily appeared. You already have the courage, strength and stamina to save yourself. You are brave and strong. There is a beacon of hope within that nothing can snuff out. It is time to begin again, soaring like an eagle. You discover you prefer this sky high view, closer to the clouds. Birds of a feather flock together. I’ll meet you in the air. *chirp*

Suicide is never the answer. You don’t get to choose your last day. Only God knows when it will be. You have today. Life is a gift. LIVE IT. You are never all alone. The God of the Universe is always as close as a prayer. He is available 24/7. Talk to Him if you can’t bring yourself to phone a friend. Please. I beg you.

January 19, 2014

Minecraft lesson #2

Week two of Xbox 360 Minecraft lessons from my sons. My youngest boy was my teacher today. He made, “Blow Crap Up World” and taught me how to use TNT. It is kinda fun… I’m grinning after playing for around thirty minutes, before saying, “Enough.” Cooking up some bacon for two sleepyheaded boys for breakfast next. My incentive to learn how to move better, with the foreign feeling controller, was that if I could track and catch him, I could have a dog. I caught him. Hearts appear. Now I have a virtual canine companion too. Cool. Minecraft has a dragon in a dark portal lair. My youngest son slayed him. Proud Mama here. Said aloud, “I’m not an Xbox Girl.” My sons think there is hope for me though. Well, of course there is. I’m A Hope Full Woman for sure. A long time ago, I played Frogger on Atari. I even remember when Pong was cool. Yes. I’m that freaking old, typed with a smile and a bubbling laugh, because at 42 I feel like I’m just getting started. I am.

January 19, 2014

Cheers

Last day of 2013 today.
It all happened.
You saw me through.
Faith, and the prayers of many.
Thankful for unconditional love of family and friends who know me best, better than I know myself.
Joy, Peace and Love are ahead.
In abundance!
Hope is the Light that doesn’t extinguish even in the darkest Dark.
Here’s to making art and writing for real in 2014.
I’m walking toward it, in cowgirl boots!
Happy New Year!
LOVE,
*sparkly heart kind*
Janean

December 31, 2013

Taking Stock…The Things That Matter Most: my body…broke insideso no one can seebut i know now i will be finei’m…

takingstockofwhatmattersmost:

my body…broke inside
so no one can see
but i know now i will be fine
i’m on my knees…finally me

i look to the Heavens
my arms spread open wide
sometimes Faith takes time
for those who are broke…inside

He see’s what others cannot
He accepts my faults from above
He takes my hand and leads me home
He sacrificed His Son to show His love

He is my refuge and my fortress
He is where my strength comes from
He protects me in the shadow of His wings
He cares for me, loves me
He forgives me again and again
He provides for the sparrows
and also for me and my boys
I am thankful
So very thankful
What a journey it has been
Climbing mountains so steep
Wandering in the vast wilderness
Desert dry as we sought an oasis
Mountains moved by Faith
Paths appearing where there seemed no way
Hope springing eternal
A fount of many blessings
Through it all we pray
Renewal in the final weeks
Walking through the valley
of the shadow of death
God’s promises are real
His covenants
He goes before you
He prepares the way
Fear not
Do not be ashamed
He will never leave you
Pray “Your will, not mine”
Be still
and know that He is God
The God of Moses
The God of Daniel
The God of David
Father of Jesus
He is our Father
in Heaven
He is there
He will heal your heart
Trust Him today

October 27, 2013
two months and a day since my husband died

Taking Stock…The Things That Matter Most: my body…broke insideso no one can seebut i know now i will be finei’m…

sustenance

My hair is a rats next of tangles from that wicked wind.
I’m am so wrung out and weary I’m leaning against the wall as I stand and type.
Will take more Tylenol next, find something hot and filling for supper, and look forward to the soothing water of a hot bath later tonight.
Much later.
Sometime after the dog is walked for the last time and both boys are tucked into their beds.
Later.
Hopefully within the next three hours.
Hope.
A sustaining emotion.
The ultimate Soul Food.

April 6, 2013