Taking Stock…The Things That Matter Most: my body…broke insideso no one can seebut i know now i will be finei’m…

takingstockofwhatmattersmost:

my body…broke inside
so no one can see
but i know now i will be fine
i’m on my knees…finally me

i look to the Heavens
my arms spread open wide
sometimes Faith takes time
for those who are broke…inside

He see’s what others cannot
He accepts my faults from above
He takes my hand and leads me home
He sacrificed His Son to show His love

He is my refuge and my fortress
He is where my strength comes from
He protects me in the shadow of His wings
He cares for me, loves me
He forgives me again and again
He provides for the sparrows
and also for me and my boys
I am thankful
So very thankful
What a journey it has been
Climbing mountains so steep
Wandering in the vast wilderness
Desert dry as we sought an oasis
Mountains moved by Faith
Paths appearing where there seemed no way
Hope springing eternal
A fount of many blessings
Through it all we pray
Renewal in the final weeks
Walking through the valley
of the shadow of death
God’s promises are real
His covenants
He goes before you
He prepares the way
Fear not
Do not be ashamed
He will never leave you
Pray “Your will, not mine”
Be still
and know that He is God
The God of Moses
The God of Daniel
The God of David
Father of Jesus
He is our Father
in Heaven
He is there
He will heal your heart
Trust Him today

October 27, 2013
two months and a day since my husband died

Taking Stock…The Things That Matter Most: my body…broke insideso no one can seebut i know now i will be finei’m…

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HOPE: a l’il powerhouse word

I hope. Hope never leaves. Hope endures and abides and remains. Hope also sustains.

First written within an email reply on April 11, 2013, after a HOPE FULL conversation at Art Circle a few hours before.

sustenance

My hair is a rats next of tangles from that wicked wind.
I’m am so wrung out and weary I’m leaning against the wall as I stand and type.
Will take more Tylenol next, find something hot and filling for supper, and look forward to the soothing water of a hot bath later tonight.
Much later.
Sometime after the dog is walked for the last time and both boys are tucked into their beds.
Later.
Hopefully within the next three hours.
Hope.
A sustaining emotion.
The ultimate Soul Food.

April 6, 2013

carefully

I’m trying to be still and know that He is God, from the Psalms.
I am trying to Trust and Fear Not.
It is hard.
Faith is believing in things that cannot be seen.
Love is the biggest of all.
I am a Hope Full woman.
I’m also held together really carefully on the inside right now.
Love,
Janean

written Monday, March 18, 2013

spring o’hope

damp sidewalk
from nighttime rain
brisk chill in the air
gray sky remains
no color
and yet
the birds are singing
trilling from the trees
beautiful
joyful
hopeful
birdsong fills me up
I smile broadly
and I mean it
from deep inside
my gut
I am a hopeful woman
for there is beauty
all around
hope springs eternal
like the songs
of those springtime birds

March 18, 2013