Facebook “Friends”

It all started by reading a Facebook status that said, “Sometimes even the people you love need to be unfriended.” I simply wrote, “Thankful I’m still here.” A mutual friend commented, “Me, too, Janean. But, I have had to unfriend a couple for language too.” This is where I probably should have just liked her comment and let what instead happened next disappear like a puff of smoke. Instead, I wrote…
“I have my moments of “could have been a language violator.” I understand though. I figure “free to come and free to go” and am praying through the hurt of those who went from my own “friends list.” My true friends know where to find me. We’re programmed into one another’s phones and know the way to each other’s front door. We hug hello and goodbye and in between we talk, laugh and heart share. In person communique is better than online every time. I am thankful for the Godly examples of the many women I’ve met through church. I know what faithful prayer warriors they are and how mightily they prayed my family through a storm, while weathering storms of their own, often with gale force gusts, rated F4 and category 5. Online channels have their merits, for an initial meeting and keeping in touch, but in person is better because you can hug and read faces, which say more than most status updates ever could.”
Perhaps I said too much. Perhaps not enough. This whole topic of unfriending and blocking strikes a nerve that’s raw. There is hurt there. Life is about choices. “Free to go” should always be a viable option. Thankfully, it is. An older gentleman I worked with years ago often quoted this wisdom from his mother, “There are three sides to every story: yours, mine and what really happened.”
God sees the overview and knows what’s in our hearts. He knits us together with the people we need and He directs our paths. Watch out for the potholes, road blocks and pits. Sometimes these things we view as obstacles actually protect us, from the things we cannot see ahead. Other times they help us grow deeper roots of Faith to help us stand against the mighty winds. Trust God and He will see you through. He sent His Son to die on the cross, to forgive the sins of a fallen world. Grace. There is grace and forgiveness to cover our humanness. Praise God. Praise Him for the little things and the BIG ones. Praise Him in song, in words, sometimes spoken aloud, other times typed in an email, tweet, blog post, even on Facebook.
Facebook. Brings me full circle. Ugh. Stupid Facebook. Part of me wants to ditch Facebook World completely. I still may, but not quite yet. I’m thankful for the people I am connected to, whether we interact much, or not. I hop on and hop off, reading, “liking,” and commenting. Sometimes saying too much. I’m me. It’s how I’m made. Typing forums are dangerous for me because words have a way of pouring out. Honest words, from the heart. I’m not perfect, no where near, never have been, never will be, never was. I’m just a human woman, with the tendency to be a chatterbox. I try to follow my mother’s advice, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”

January 25, 2014

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I kid you not

Voices drifting up, through the heating vent in the living room floor, I just heard the almost 13 year old neighbor guy say, “Somewhere over the rainbow?”

My oldest son (13 1/2) replied, “Might be over the storm clouds.”

Odds are good they are talking video games. But seriously?! I just wrote about singing a few bars of that song, while walking on the sidewalk, across the street from where our side by side houses are! I’m not making this up! My writing is memoir, not fiction, especially the really weird, crazy and not too whackadoodle stuff.

January 1, 2014
2:04pm
(My jean clad azz is off the cozy love seat spot and I am standing up. Blue dog stretched out and is resting his head upon a striped pillow. Life is good, especially for the napping dog.)

to new beginnings

The first sunrise of 2014 was lavender and hot pink. Vivid, bright, streaks of pink, and me without my camera. Blue and I walked through the park. The only sounds his tags jingling, my cowgirl boot falls and one crow, but thankfully for just a l’il while. Shoo shoo. No cars. No joggers. Quiet, as the sky woke up with color. I didn’t look at the temperature before we set out. I looked at it just now: 17 degrees, feels like 2, and me without my scarf. Brisk, cold air and snow don’t bother me, though I’m not a fan of ice. I noticed we also have a winter storm advisory. OK. Sure. Whatever. I’m taking it as it comes, not fretting. Hello, 2014. I didn’t stay up to greet you at midnight, but I saw your first sunrise this morning, and it was as fabulous as the promise of this new year ahead. GOOD MORNING!

January 1, 2014
7:45am

two words

My husband wrote a poem with, “damn it” in it.
Reading those two little words made me grin.
For in the midst of his poem about hurt, tumult, brokenness and pain it was after I read the, “damn it”, that I knew we’d be OK.
Love is stronger than all the rest.
Love heals, soothes, mends and forms a safe haven.
Love is our shelter in the midst of the most awful of storms.
Besides all that, I love him too…
damn it.

the weather report

it’s raining today
oh, how we need it
the dirt is cracked
the grass is brown
scorched earth
and withering crops
all around

it’s raining today
oh, how we need it
souls parched
from a long journey
through the desert
without respite
or the nourishing balm
of rain

it’s raining today
oh, how we need it
for even the deepest roots
thirst in times of drought
questioning
withdrawing
lashing out
forgetting
that tangled together
they are tougher
to break apart
by even the mightiest
of storm
realizing it’s better
if they hold tight
to one another
through this long desert walk
it’s raining today
oh, how we need it

August 26, 2012

We had some more rain this evening followed by the biggest, brightest, most beautiful rainbow I’ve ever seen stretch across several houses that face my own backyard. I looked for a rainbow such as this all last summer. A sign from God that He keeps His promises. The significance of seeing a rainbow today, tonight, after a brief rainstorm, is that the printed copies of my oldest son’s book arrived today. The one he wrote for 4-H. The one that honors his father and the fight he’s been fighting for over a year now. The title is, “On May 25”. It’s a beaut of a little book that also honors the Lord as my twelve year old shares his heart, faith, belief in the power of prayer and the comfort that comes from the prayers of many for our family during this difficult time. My heart was already dancing, soaring and flying. This rainbow, a double rainbow, was an unexpected gift. SO BIG! SO BEAUTIFUL! Praying this new type of chemotherapy works. Praying for complete healing from stage four cancer. Praying to weather this storm with my family of four intact for many years to come. Thank you, God, for the reminder that You are there. Always. From the dark of night to the glow of sunrise, until the sun sets once more, and sometimes, the most special of times, You are in the translucent glow of a rainbow in a perfectly formed half circle.
~ Janean

July 26, 2012