sustenance

My hair is a rats next of tangles from that wicked wind.
I’m am so wrung out and weary I’m leaning against the wall as I stand and type.
Will take more Tylenol next, find something hot and filling for supper, and look forward to the soothing water of a hot bath later tonight.
Much later.
Sometime after the dog is walked for the last time and both boys are tucked into their beds.
Later.
Hopefully within the next three hours.
Hope.
A sustaining emotion.
The ultimate Soul Food.

April 6, 2013

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false alarm

Wait. I poured a mug o’coffee and now the rest is draining! YES! My day is looking brighter ‘cause caffeine is gonna hit my weary system. Breathing a BIG sigh o’relief. Please resume your regular programming…just a minor little overreaction. Me?! Ms. Short Fuse?! Yeah. It happens. Now, for that first sip of magical java brew to make it all better…or at least kick start me toward gettin’ ready for Sunday mornin’ church. Carry on and have a fab-u-lous day! Happy kitchen dancin’ here ‘cause my coffee pot works! ~ Janean

January 27, 2013
8:40am

feelin’ antsy

I’m antsy ‘cause of being gone for a week-ish starting tomorrow. Everyone else is tucked in, but I’m making a mug o’tea and staying up. Starting now, until its time to go, I’m going to try to do the 157 things I’ve been wanting to do for awhile, but haven’t quite gotten to…because now, all of a sudden, they gotta get done! *it’s hard to be going out of town for medical reasons, not a pleasure trip, and even more so, it’s hard leaving the children behind and being apart for any length of time too*
So, I better go and DO. I’m wound up and coiled tightly on the inside, ready to spring about. Boing! Of course, I also feel immensely weary, like I could curl up and sleep until sometime tomorrow afternoon. *sigh*
~ Janean

January 19, 2013

a mother’s intuition

I saw my mom today
she said, “You look tired.”
I nodded my head for yes and said, “mmm”
‘cause I am
I didn’t trust myself to say more
She tried to draw me out by asking, “Early morning?”
I answered, “Yes” aloud
and resisting adding, “Aren’t they all?!”
She wanted to ask more
but we weren’t alone
my husband’s family was there
standin’ in the driveway
Blue dog on a leash
eating’ grass
oblivious to emotion
happy to be in the front yard
while family visited
all around
I’m weary today
on the inside
and weepy
which shows
on the outside
especially in my tired eyes
mom’s just know
when their babies are hurting
even when their “baby” is forty
with babies of her own
some days are harder than others
this one has had too many tears
I’m hoping that means
I’ve cried tomorrow’s already
‘cause my mom
will be askin’ me how I am again
quite soon
until then
her intuition is workin’ overtime

September 2, 2012

today I am thankful for sunglasses
that shield my tired eyes
from prying ones
the tears I didn’t want to cry
fell anyway
from my weary, tired eyes
I’ve found sunglasses work best
if you can conjure up a little smile
to go with them
then no one stops to wonder
why your eyelids only open to half mast
‘cause they are fallin’ for your smile
the smile that doesn’t quite reach
your UV glass protected eyes

August 30, 2012