in my backyard

sitting in the sunshine
a ladybug lands
upon my shoulder
hello little ladybug
I’m wearing green
Do I look like a tree?
my hair blows
in the cool breeze
mere moments pass
the ladybug flies away
a crow calls
from above the rooftops
doggone dog barks
a squirrel has been spotted
beyond the reach of his leash
time to drag the dog inside
don’t want to be bother
babies are napping
a woman is reading
two actually
myself and another
goodbye sunshine
goodbye ladybug
good riddance crow
hello library book
I’m going to read you
just a little bit longer
in my cozy love seat spot
missing celestial warmth

October 8, 2014

Loving my backyard hangout spot, with my jean-clad butt plopped on a corner of the patio, not in a chair. My bare feet are in the grass and my toes are tapping and I am singing along to the Praise songs playing from my ipad mini. I’m posting this via mobile of course! My silver laptop, with letters long ago worn off the keys, awaits. The luxury of a full keyboard is a new one, after writing so much tapping via a tiny touch screen. That Birthday Dog is eating grass. Ugh. Best of all, the oven timer just went off, which means later today there will be a delectable chocolate cake. Maybe it seems silly to you to make all this fuss over a dog’s birthday, thinking, “Two years old, big whoop. He’s a dog.” It’s so much more than that though, as most things in life are. There are many layers and undertones. We bought Blue seven months into my husband’s two years and three month long cancer fight. That dog saved me. Blue got me out of the house and under the sky, at all hours of the day and night, walking, moving, and helped me take off the stress induced, comfort food eating, weight. A month ago my husband’s soul went to Heaven. He is no longer in pain. It was four weeks ago on Monday, but it is a calendar month today. Since I was a young girl being outside made it better. Whatever “it” was in my life, being outdoors soothed me from the inside out. I need the grass between my toes, the sun on my face and the breeze blowing my dark brown hair. Blue knows Outside Makes It Better too. He’s a really smart pup, my Blue. I love him more than I should, but that’s the beauty of love, you don’t divide it, you multiply it. A lesson from my mother. She’s really smart too!
~ Janean

September 26, 2013

a l’il quiet time

I’m sittin’ in a sunbeam
listenin’ to the clock tick tock
my children are Spring Break snoozin’
that big sweet pup went back to bed
bits o’birdsong drift in through the outside walls
breakfast, coffee, things To Do
yet I’m curled into a corner of the love seat
my favorite cozy couch spot
I’m sitting in a sunbeam
so thankful a new day has begun

March 27, 2013

“looks can be deceiving”
I walked through the park
with my big sweet pup
midday, as we often do
the sky is quite lovely
a gorgeous shade o’blue
the clouds are puffy white
and daydream-like
from the window
things look balmy
but that March wind
blows in great big gusts
hits you hard
and knocks you back
it’s still Lion Time in Illinois
even today
on the first day of Spring
brrrrrr
I’m downright cold
still feelin’ chilled
even back inside
within the warmth
and comfort
of home

March 20, 2013

window view

playing in the snow
children laughing
snowballs flying
smiles shining too
looks normal
from the outside
only the inside knows
the truth
for reality
is anything but normal
life is never boring
if it is
it’s your own damn fault
we have your drama
real life kind
eyebrow raising
jaw dropping
gray hair causing too
but from the outside
if you are looking
from your window view
the drama doesn’t show
it’s skillfully hidden
behind brave faces
and eyes filled with secrets
heart kind
that never tell

February 23, 2013

I have a “works” hair appointment today
a much needed, long overdue one
last time for color was early June
last cut was sometime mid-July
when life isn’t topsy turvy crazy I get it cut every month
and colored every other to economize
when I was about to leave for my appointment
I found my husband to say, “goodbye”
while my body language was sayin’, “I gotta go now, I don’t wanna be late”
so with a hug and a kiss he said, “Come back pretty.”
I replied, “I will.”
sittin’ under the dryer now
tryin’ to make good on that promise
mmmmm, thankful for this appointment time
hair therapy I call it
my brother’s wife is the hair artist
we have fun catchin’ up and gabbin’
while her hands fly about
I leave feelin’ lighter on the inside
and smilin’ on the outside
where the pretty shows

September 26, 2012

a mother’s intuition

I saw my mom today
she said, “You look tired.”
I nodded my head for yes and said, “mmm”
‘cause I am
I didn’t trust myself to say more
She tried to draw me out by asking, “Early morning?”
I answered, “Yes” aloud
and resisting adding, “Aren’t they all?!”
She wanted to ask more
but we weren’t alone
my husband’s family was there
standin’ in the driveway
Blue dog on a leash
eating’ grass
oblivious to emotion
happy to be in the front yard
while family visited
all around
I’m weary today
on the inside
and weepy
which shows
on the outside
especially in my tired eyes
mom’s just know
when their babies are hurting
even when their “baby” is forty
with babies of her own
some days are harder than others
this one has had too many tears
I’m hoping that means
I’ve cried tomorrow’s already
‘cause my mom
will be askin’ me how I am again
quite soon
until then
her intuition is workin’ overtime

September 2, 2012

Outside again. Fourth time since 4:30am. Love the sunshine on my face and birdsong. Crazy woofing dog didn’t need to go, he found a stick and plopped in the shade to chew. “Stress?! What stress?!”, says Blue as he grins at me with his tongue lollying out one side of his mouth, looking crooked and quite hilarious. Sometimes I give in, and lie in the shade next to him in the grass and look up at the sky through a canopy of leaves. A Dog’s Eye View. He’s a smart pup, my Blue.