“It’s not the scary house anymore.”
I overheard a mother say this to her son on Halloween night from where I stood on the front porch holding a bowl of candy to give away. A moment later, the boy did walk up the driveway from the sidewalk and say, “Trick or Treat?” I gladly gave him treats and hope he’ll be back next year without the sidewalk hesitation. Like his mother said, that old designation is now put to rest once and for all. Getting there. Step by step. NOTE TO SELF: Get rid of all your old Halloween decorations. The ones you didn’t make time to put out this year.

January 12, 2014

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I can’t make you

turquoisetangle:

I can’t make you

I wish I could

you’re bigger than me

I can’t stop you

you won’t listen

I won’t beg

do what you have to do

the door closes

I cry then

my eyes are dry now

no longer tired

I wonder

when you will come home

knowing that you will

I won’t call

you know the way

when you’re ready

come home

even though

I can’t make you

© 2011 Turquoise Tangles

That feeling when someone suddenly “Tumblr loves” something you wrote a few years ago. You reread it. Sigh deeply and cuss (just in your head). Somehow you nearly forgot. Does anyone else tag real life personal drama as, “creative writing” and hope the outer facade of reality doesn’t crack? No, me either. After tagging that way a few times my husband “called me on it” so I stopped. Stopped writing quite so honestly. Stopped tagging anything “creative writing.” Started talking about the dog, Blue, then just a puppy. A lot. Time flies. Speed varies. I’ve logged nearly 1,000 posts here at Tumblr since joining in November 2011. Poems. Photographs. Stories. Quotes. Reblogs. All tweeted too, if you’re counting. The best, most interesting, jaw dropping, heart aching, twisting, tugging, wrenching, soaring writing from the past several years has all been done behind the scenes. Just in case you’re wondering, this poem, written on a long ago night, was foreshadowing. I’m glad I was brave enough to write it and say it at the time. I still remember the fight. Faded. Fading. Letting go. We were fire and fire, fire and ice, hot and cold. Yet, we ended “just right.” We came through the fire, all pride set aside, and we loved with our walls down for the very first time.

January 6, 2014

window view

playing in the snow
children laughing
snowballs flying
smiles shining too
looks normal
from the outside
only the inside knows
the truth
for reality
is anything but normal
life is never boring
if it is
it’s your own damn fault
we have your drama
real life kind
eyebrow raising
jaw dropping
gray hair causing too
but from the outside
if you are looking
from your window view
the drama doesn’t show
it’s skillfully hidden
behind brave faces
and eyes filled with secrets
heart kind
that never tell

February 23, 2013

I can’t make you

I can’t make you

I wish I could

you’re bigger than me

I can’t stop you

you won’t listen

I won’t beg

do what you have to do

the door closes

I cry then

my eyes are dry now

no longer tired

I wonder

when you will come home

knowing that you will

I won’t call

you know the way

when you’re ready

come home

even though

I can’t make you

© 2011 Turquoise Tangles

playin’ with fire

I’m playin’ with fire

dancin’ ever closer

stayin’ just out of reach

I’m playin’ with fire

turning back the clock

in my mind and heart

and remembering

I’m playin’ with fire

dredging up memories

best left buried deep

I’m playin’ with fire

hopin’ not to get burned

or burn another

I’m playin’ with fire

red, orange, yellow

bright blue glow

of the flame

as I stare

mesmerized

by what I see

I’m playin’ with fire

the danger attracts

I admit it

my rebellious side

isn’t quashed

yet

I’m playin’ with fire

drawn like a moth

to a flame

with memories

of you

OUCH!

Got too close

for just a moment

while I was

playin’ with fire

© 2011 Turquoise Tangles