I can’t make you

turquoisetangle:

I can’t make you

I wish I could

you’re bigger than me

I can’t stop you

you won’t listen

I won’t beg

do what you have to do

the door closes

I cry then

my eyes are dry now

no longer tired

I wonder

when you will come home

knowing that you will

I won’t call

you know the way

when you’re ready

come home

even though

I can’t make you

© 2011 Turquoise Tangles

That feeling when someone suddenly “Tumblr loves” something you wrote a few years ago. You reread it. Sigh deeply and cuss (just in your head). Somehow you nearly forgot. Does anyone else tag real life personal drama as, “creative writing” and hope the outer facade of reality doesn’t crack? No, me either. After tagging that way a few times my husband “called me on it” so I stopped. Stopped writing quite so honestly. Stopped tagging anything “creative writing.” Started talking about the dog, Blue, then just a puppy. A lot. Time flies. Speed varies. I’ve logged nearly 1,000 posts here at Tumblr since joining in November 2011. Poems. Photographs. Stories. Quotes. Reblogs. All tweeted too, if you’re counting. The best, most interesting, jaw dropping, heart aching, twisting, tugging, wrenching, soaring writing from the past several years has all been done behind the scenes. Just in case you’re wondering, this poem, written on a long ago night, was foreshadowing. I’m glad I was brave enough to write it and say it at the time. I still remember the fight. Faded. Fading. Letting go. We were fire and fire, fire and ice, hot and cold. Yet, we ended “just right.” We came through the fire, all pride set aside, and we loved with our walls down for the very first time.

January 6, 2014

This is where I come from.
Sparkly hearts that say, “LOVE” on my parents front door.
They will celebrate 45 years of marriage on February 17, 2013.
Not every year was easy.
The hard ones thankfully few.
Mom told me once, “You don’t divide the love, you multiply it.”
Love Math is her Greatest Gift.
My dad loves GREAT BIG too.
I am theirs.
Forever and always.
This is where I come from.
From my parents abiding love.

February 2, 2013

again

doc had some news
yesterday
a little good
nothing in the lung
praise be
a lot not easy to hear
metabolic in the liver
again
perhaps surgery
again
maybe more chemo
maybe wait and see
next step
specialist in Chicago
again
not the news we wanted
just seven months
since first liver surgery
when doc thought
they got it all
but thankful
he’s still here
with us
tougher
than he knows
the former Marine
police officer
I married
15 years ago

June 7, 2012