I’ve been wearin’ my cowgirl boots everywhere, except to sleep in, for several months now. I slide ‘em on with my pajamas in the early morning to walk the dog, sometimes barefoot, if thick socks aren’t at the ready. Today I had a doctor’s appointment…just an annual check up…the girl kind. Couldn’t help but smile, as I sat waitin’, all gowned up, and caught a glimpse of my discarded street clothes with boots at the ready, for when it was time to go. Home now. Glad that’s over for another year. It’s now mid-afternoon and time to walk the dog again. Boots on the sidewalk. Paws too. Haulin’ ass and tail. ~ Janean

December 10, 2012

today is a day for favorite jeans
faded, creased and fraying
soft and pliable
curve hugging, not binding
way past “stylish”
not dark enough
not boot cut enough
not “skinny” enough
just right for me
comfort
the denim wrapped kind
with cowgirl boots for courage
countin’ down the hours and minutes
to my husband’s appointment time
soon we’ll know the answer to the question,
“What’s next?”

September 14, 2012

again

doc had some news
yesterday
a little good
nothing in the lung
praise be
a lot not easy to hear
metabolic in the liver
again
perhaps surgery
again
maybe more chemo
maybe wait and see
next step
specialist in Chicago
again
not the news we wanted
just seven months
since first liver surgery
when doc thought
they got it all
but thankful
he’s still here
with us
tougher
than he knows
the former Marine
police officer
I married
15 years ago

June 7, 2012

up since 5:00
one cup o’coffee down
a bowl of cereal too
almost 6:30 now
as I laugh and throw the ball for Blue
his appointment is at 8:30
that wonderful husband of mine
for 15 years and counting
20 years together in July
friends before that
today we find out
if the chemo has worked
or if the cancer has spread
yet here I am
playing with the dog
his dog
the one he’s always wanted
trying to keep the worries and fear at bay
until we know what the doctor has to say
other than THAT
it’s a beautiful morning
crisp early a.m. air
birdsong from the treetops
not much traffic noise
less than two hours to go
and then we’ll know
what’s next

June 6, 2012