in the dark

awake at 4:00am
well, before that really
with my coughing boy
snuggling in bed wasn’t helping
so we headed downstairs together
me carrying his pillow
and favorite blanket
him with his glasses
and a Calvin and Hobbes book
he sent me ahead of him
to chase away the dark
thankfully my baby boy
now nine and a half
fell back to sleep
in his favorite love seat spot
while I tucked him in, I spied her
through the glass doors to the back
the elusive moon from last night
a crooked crescent grin
Blue dog is worried about his boy
assured him with extra ear rubs
“It’ll all be OK. No matter what.”

January 7, 2013

The car
I think it’s time to let her go
I/we need a safe newer vehicle that we trust outside the city limits on the highway
The air is broken and it’s been hot this summer
Power locks busted long ago and it’s not worth repair costs
Even if we fixed her and parked her until My oldest son was 15 or 16, in three more years I’d worry about her safety
And his
The air bag light is blinking
It’s time
It’s just not easy
To let her go
She’s been my car for 13 1/2 years
That’s a long damn time to drive a car
She’s been A Good One
One of the best
My fifth car since I turned sixteen
Twenty four and a half years ago
Now it’s time to figure out
What’s next?!
~ Janean

August 6, 2012

up since 5:00
one cup o’coffee down
a bowl of cereal too
almost 6:30 now
as I laugh and throw the ball for Blue
his appointment is at 8:30
that wonderful husband of mine
for 15 years and counting
20 years together in July
friends before that
today we find out
if the chemo has worked
or if the cancer has spread
yet here I am
playing with the dog
his dog
the one he’s always wanted
trying to keep the worries and fear at bay
until we know what the doctor has to say
other than THAT
it’s a beautiful morning
crisp early a.m. air
birdsong from the treetops
not much traffic noise
less than two hours to go
and then we’ll know
what’s next

June 6, 2012




Before the doctors came in on rounds,
it was an especially gorgeous sunrise,
with bands of color across the horizon.
Even more spectacular,
than yesterday’s golden glow.

Good news from The Pathology Report.
A clear CT scan. 
Minimal air around the lungs.
Nothing showed up on the x-ray.
Going home. 

Staples out today.
Hemoglobin OK.
I am crying tears of Joy. 
Why do we doubt,
when God is so good?
He has this under control.
He’s showing us,
step by step,
I have this. 
Trust Me. 
But we doubt. 
We worry. 
We fret. 
Well, I do. 
Even when he gives us the gift
of a sunrise in vivid hues
to say, “I Am Here”.
Thank you, God. 
It’s your prayers.
All of them. 
Each and every one. 
We are so overwhelmed
with the power of them,
as God keeps moving mountains
from our path. 

He hears them. 
He answers. 
In His time. 
In His way. 

God is good. 
All the time.
How Great Is Our God!
Love and thankfulness
for each of you,
for walking so closely with us
on my husband’s journey
through cancer,
from diagnosis to survivor,
is our prayer.
Friday morning, November 18, 2011
© 2011 Turquoise Tangles