onward

A winter storm is forecast for today. The sky is keeping us guessing with dark, gray clouds hanging low on the right side of the highway, and blue sky peeking through a bit on the left. Hoping blue sky wins (always), but that wind is blowing something fierce. Time will tell. For the moment, moving onward, heading North.

December 20, 2012

I have a hanky in my pocket
I’m leakin’ all kinds of tears
my heart, oh how it’s hurtin’
some solace waits for me there
my parents went south yesterday
the highway called their name
my cousin always lives there
next door to Grrr
who got me on this train
for grandpa’s birthday is the reason
number 97 is nearly here
I’m arrivin’ one day early
today’s the day I could come
“Happy last day of 96!”
I brought the last jar of alien goo
they’re really, “Green Tomato Pickles”
but either way, I made ‘em just for you

written Thursday, November 8, 2012
as I rode the southbound train from Normal to Alton, Illinois
the first leg of the trip

The car
I think it’s time to let her go
I/we need a safe newer vehicle that we trust outside the city limits on the highway
The air is broken and it’s been hot this summer
Power locks busted long ago and it’s not worth repair costs
Even if we fixed her and parked her until My oldest son was 15 or 16, in three more years I’d worry about her safety
And his
The air bag light is blinking
It’s time
It’s just not easy
To let her go
She’s been my car for 13 1/2 years
That’s a long damn time to drive a car
She’s been A Good One
One of the best
My fifth car since I turned sixteen
Twenty four and a half years ago
Now it’s time to figure out
What’s next?!
~ Janean

August 6, 2012

I walked past this hammock for sale at the store today and flashed back to my childhood summers. On the most special of days my dad would tie the big white hammock between two skinny walnut trees. We’d take turns climbing in to sway gently from side to side. How I wanted to buy a hammock today to recapture the peace and ease of those long ago summer days. I resisted though. No where to store it. No good place in the yard to serenely sway either. Street sounds. Lawnmowers. Basketballs hitting pavement in pre shot dribbling. Dogs barking (not just mine). I’ve landed a hundred miles from the deep, sloped, tree filled backyard at the end of a dead end street behind the little yellow house that I called Home for my first twenty one years. I grew up in a town of 20,000 surrounded by factories, farmland, and highways to anywhere but here. Now I think to myself, “Those were the days.” These were my fleeting thoughts this morning, as I pushed my shopping cart past the hammocks toward the aisles that held stuff actually on my list. The only other thing I wondered was whether my parents, my dad specifically, would like a hammock once again to enjoy on summer afternoons from his screened in porch that overlooks the Mississippi River. You can be sure I’m going to ask him and hope the answer is, “Yes.” My ulterior motives are quite transparent…I want a turn too. ~ Janean