tired

October 26, 2014

getting unstuck

Sitting at my kitchen table
Still in pjs
Drinking coffee
Blue on guard in the backyard
[quietly]
Boys voices drifting up
[talking over video game sounds]

I took a long hot soaking bath with a light book yesterday
Had a good day but was tired and fried
That helped
A lot
I’ll do it again
I forget to
Best of all woke up early [4:40a] but fell back asleep until 7a
Bliss

[PAUSE]

Dog woofed
He jumped the crooked bent ineffective wire mesh garden fence and got stuck
Out of leash but also the leash clasp was caught around the edge of the fence
Stuck
Unclipped him
Bent fence down enough he could jump
Loved him
He scared himself
For today anyway
He followed me in
Muddy paws which he hates having touched
Got a layer of dirt off
My house is nowhere near spotless
Ever
A little garden dirt won’t hurt

Poured the last of my coffee
Not rushing anywhere today
I am so thankful for lack of rush

October 26, 2014
A diary of my Sunday morning moments that occurred between 8:18a and 8:51a today. I can pinpoint the timing so exactly because this is an excerpt of an email reply I sent to my cousin. On a wild whim decided to share this snippet from my life here too. I’ve been quiet in my public writing spots. Have needed to be. Still do. ~Janean

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December 24, 2013

Christmas sleuthing

I hope my children haven’t been snooping. They wouldn’t have to try very hard this year. Their gifts are still unwrapped, tucked in my bedroom closet. Evidently I left both the bedroom and closet doors open when I left my room earlier this evening. Left both lights on too. I didn’t plan to fall asleep! Practically an invitation to say, “Come on it and see what’s going on!” Doggone it! Thankfully now, they are asleep. Christmas morning is nearly here. The rest of tonight and then one more sleep. I’ll wrap tomorrow for sure. Tonight it is time to zzzzz.

December 24, 2013
12:25am, a new day just beginning, Christmas Eve Day is here.

December 18, 2013

rumpus time

There are more pictures.
My youngest son is a blur.
Just Blue’s tail is in some of them.
There is a picture of my oldest son on the ground.
The pencil his brother threw hit it’s mark.
I’m not posting that one, but if I did the caption would read, “It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.”
Wildness continued.
Mayhem is another term.
Full Moon Effect.
Walking Blue for the last time now and then I am going to bed.

December 17, 2013

December 18, 2013 Image

bedtime mayhem

I said, “It’s bedtime.”

My oldest son heard, “It’s time to put on a stormtrooper helmet, grab a noise-making blaster, blare the Imperial March from your back pocket, and come down to the main floor looking for a fight.”

My youngest son minded by getting pjs on but heard, “Grab a sharply pointed pencil to wield like a lightsaber, while simultaneously threatening your big brother with a glass of ice water, and moving quickly from here to there dodging blaster fire.”

Blue heard, “Mom’s tired. Everybody GO CRAZY!”

December 17, 2013

December 14, 2013

paws and boots

Blue and I had fun making fresh tracks in the still falling snow just now. When we walked back indoors, after our outside time, I called for my youngest son to come see us. He was indisposed. Oh. I shouted back, “Never mind then. I just look like A Snow Mom.” That two year old pup and I didn’t exactly walk while we were out there. Blue leaped ahead of me, straining at the end of his six foot leash, and alternately circling me, running really fast. Crazy. I say my big, sweet pup is crazy all the time. Just right, made perfect for me kind of crazy. Now we’re happily back inside. My teenage son (13 1/2) is talking his grandparents ears off, using the old-fashioned house phone with the stretchy cord located upstairs. The fire in the fireplace is burning down. This time I’m going to let it. I’m tired. Will tuck in soon, because in the morning, it’ll be time for Blue dog and I to make fresh tracks, paws and boots walking side by side.

December 13, 2013

September 2, 2012

a mother’s intuition

I saw my mom today
she said, “You look tired.”
I nodded my head for yes and said, “mmm”
‘cause I am
I didn’t trust myself to say more
She tried to draw me out by asking, “Early morning?”
I answered, “Yes” aloud
and resisting adding, “Aren’t they all?!”
She wanted to ask more
but we weren’t alone
my husband’s family was there
standin’ in the driveway
Blue dog on a leash
eating’ grass
oblivious to emotion
happy to be in the front yard
while family visited
all around
I’m weary today
on the inside
and weepy
which shows
on the outside
especially in my tired eyes
mom’s just know
when their babies are hurting
even when their “baby” is forty
with babies of her own
some days are harder than others
this one has had too many tears
I’m hoping that means
I’ve cried tomorrow’s already
‘cause my mom
will be askin’ me how I am again
quite soon
until then
her intuition is workin’ overtime

September 2, 2012

March 29, 2012

dog tired

Is it a bad sign when it’s not yet 9:00a.m., there is still coffee in the pot, and more than anything you just want to go back to bed? I figure it is too early in the day to call it a nap. Puppy was up at 2:30a.m., sometime between 4 and 5, and again at 6:30a.m. That’s when I got up, planning to stay up for the whole entire day. The previous times I took him out, then back in, took him out and fed him and back in… In between I kept rekenneling him and going back to bed. I must have slept. Each time I was there long enough to have crazy dreams before being awoken sooner than I wanted to be from the dog sounds coming through the puppy monitor. For the record, there was a thirty minute walk in there too. Alas, no back to bedding, no napping. Not for me anyway. That dog?! He’s sawing logs, happily curled up in the family room, where the TV is blaring a dog themed show, and the rest of the family is done with breakfast. It’s Spring Break here. Day 4 of No School. Woof.

March 21, 2012

breakfast food analogy

I am toast
and not the pretty golden brown
evenly buttered kind
I’m stuck in the toaster
charred beyond recognition
crumbling burned black toast
evidently when my day starts at 4:30a.m.
by 6-something in the evening I am done
kaput
not worth much
by almost 7:30p.m. I am toast
actually those crumbs in the bottom if the toaster
I may be in bed before the children tonight
unless I fall asleep on the backyard chaise
where I have the dogs leash under a leg
to hold it in place
and I am stretched out fairly flat
my eye lids at half mast
there are dishes
clean ones to unload
pots and pans to do by hand
laundry to fold
more to move around
from one machine to another
but something’s burning
smoldering
crumbling
beyond done
crumble
crumble
ick
charred to bits
toast