in this moment

January 29, 2013

awake

NOTE TO SELF: Don’t uncrate the happy to see you big dog, while just wrapped in a towel with another towel wrapped turban style upon your head. ‘Cause if you do, the one on your head will fall off, the other one will slip, and that dog’s pointy nose doesn’t need to go THERE…

The bright side is: I had an oh so lovely, steamin’ hot shower, on a rainy, thunder-stormin’ Tuesday morn. Rain helps. It just does. Soothes me on the inside. Pourin’ down by the bucketful.

Once I throw some clothes on, and feed my dear sweet boys, Blue dog and I are walkin’ in the rain. He’ll be wearin’ his usual tan paws and I’ll be wearin’ BOOTS…my peacock adorned rubber rain kind.
~ Me

January 29, 2013
6:45am

January 26, 2013

closer to home

I’m going home today. HOME! Wish it meant my husband was sprung from the hospital near Chicago, but he’s not. I’m going home to my two boys, ages 12 and 9, and that striped cat. My sweet pup, Blue, who I miss too, comes home on Monday from the canine resort. Home to central Illinois where the land is flat and fertile, though the fields lie fallow, and the bare trees of winter show off their curvy bones. Oh. Home.

January 26, 2013

January 26, 2013

still standing

I’m breathing in crisp night air
while standing on the curb
just outside the hospital doors
waiting for the hotel shuttle
whisking me back
for my last night in Princess Room
if only I could see the moon
but alas, it’s too cloudy

January 25, 2013
Loyola hospital
near Chicago
northern Illinois

January 23, 2013 Image

I grabbed my hotel breakfast To Go, so I didn’t miss the 7:30 a.m. shuttle I scheduled last night: oatmeal with brown sugar and sliced almonds (thankful for a plastic lid), a banana, one blueberry muffin wrapped up in a napkin (just the way my Grandma taught me long ago) all of which I shoved into my shoulder bag. Then I got a cuppa coffee and waited not too long. Coffee was gone as I was delivered, to the hospital front doors, so I bought a bigger cup and rode the elevator up. Eating now…started with half my blueberry muffin. Might get the other half, or might share…depends on how filled up that hungry man gets when he finishes The Grand Slam breakfast the hospital staff just delivered. Good morning from Loyola!

January 23, 2013
Loyola hospital
near Chicago

January 22, 2013 Image

my heart hurts
I am breathing
I’m also standing
in a sunbeam
in the hallway of windows
just a few steps past
my husband’s hospital room
it’s quiet here
just the sound
of the heater running
that helps too
and stillness
no one is bustling about
I’ll go back…
in just a bit…
I am breathing

January 22, 2013

January 22, 2013 Image

I smiled quietly this morning
standing in a window lined hallway
seven stories up
savoring the sun shining in
turned toward North
(I guess)
since Chicago skyline
is on the horizon
I’d stepped out of the hospital room
to call my sister
left a message for her
with my voice breaking
and a few tears falling
at the end

January 22, 2013
Loyola hospital
Chicago suburbs
northern Illinois