Dog and I came in from outside
My children are both awake
And don’t want to go on donut run
But are glad I’m going
With the dog
On our way
Month: February 2012
Roots
Before a tree
can reach the sky
it first must form its rootActively growing
instinctively knowing
lacking this it bears no fruitSo also we human beings
are very much the same
to grow we need a basePrayer and Meditation
provide the foundation
leading us to a sacred spaceHere given strength
in the presence of God
is a place we already knowAll problems solved
our fears released
solidly rooted, now we grow
I love trees and the powerful imagery and meaning of these words.

Moonshine over the front yard
As the sun was rising over the back
6:50am
On a Saturday
In early February
In central Illinois
My home
Since always

Sunrise over the backyard at 6:50am.
On a Saturday.
Been up since 5:00.
I am A Dog Mom now.
He woofed.
My feet hit the floor to let him out.
You know.
To go.
Stayed up.
Might as well.
Morning is here.
Loving the coffee.
And the Puppy & Me time.
He’s A Good Dog.
My Blue.
Just as well I didn’t know
That it was only ten degrees
Until AFTER our 20 minute morning walk
He’s ready for a nap now
Smart Boy that he is
Of course it’s as my other boys are waking up
The two smaller ones
And the big one
The sun is rising higher
The sky is brighter
Saturday has Officially Begun

It is 6:00am on a Saturday.
I made 10 cups of caramel truffle coffee.
And yes, they are all for me.
~ Janean
playin’ possum
I live in a house with three possums
not the pink tailed, beady eyed kind
the pretending to sleep while the dog barks in the early morning kind
there is a cat in the house too
she might as well be part possum
since she’s tucked in too
cozied up to those other possums
burrowed under soft covers
in rooms dark
for the sun has yet to rise
while the early dog and I got outside to take care of business
and he woofs the house down
so excited for his breakfast
and sits at the bottom of the stairs
waitin’ for the rest of the family
to stop playin’ possum
and wake up
to play with him
(the dog)
too much of a gentleman
he’s too much of a gentleman
to put the blame on me
it wasn’t the woofing of the dog
coughing of son number one
or morning grumbles of son number two
that awoke him this morn
from his workin’ mids (3-11)
just unhooked from chemo slumber
it was me
rummaging in the closet for clothes
that jolted him awake
but when I gave him multiple choice
the dog?
youngest son?
he just quietly said, “No”
not elaborating
as he ate a pop tart for breakfast
and took some medicine
before tucking back in
to sleep a little longer
later it dawned on me
but he was too much of a gentleman
to say so
“Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
Fine
Please don’t ask how I am.
I’ll either smile, and lie through my teeth saying, “Fine, and you?” or I’ll start crying and tell you I’m a bit of a wreck these days.
I hate crying too.
I want to be all strong and in control of my emotions.
But alas, I am a girl.
A woman if you’re going to get technical, and I’m a bundle of emotions these days.
I’m as liable to hit ya as kiss ya if you get too damn close for comfort.
So let me smile and say, “Fine”.
It’s easier for both of us.
Trust me.
No bruises or tears that way either.
spinning
“Put on a happy face.”
words from my childhood
“Never let ‘em see you cry.”
words that echo in my head
I am a spin master
I can talk about anything
and everything
under the sun
or under a gray
and cloudy day
I can deflect
and reflect
and run my own game
I may fool a stranger
and new acquaintance
others though,
those closest,
know how to see behind
a smile too bright,
eyes a bit weary and damp,
to the heavy heart within
they put an end
to the spinning
with a hug
as the smile fades
tears fall
it’s OK
for them to see me cry
I am loved
by Him