too much of a gentleman

he’s too much of a gentleman
to put the blame on me
it wasn’t the woofing of the dog
coughing of son number one
or morning grumbles of son number two
that awoke him this morn
from his workin’ mids (3-11)
just unhooked from chemo slumber
it was me
rummaging in the closet for clothes
that jolted him awake
but when I gave him multiple choice
the dog?
youngest son?
he just quietly said, “No”
not elaborating
as he ate a pop tart for breakfast
and took some medicine
before tucking back in
to sleep a little longer
later it dawned on me
but he was too much of a gentleman
to say so

Happiness is…

Happiness is sitting side by side on the love seat with my youngest son, both still in our pajamas, as he reads Calvin and Hobbes comics to me aloud. A ready laugh is rimming the edges of his voice, and we’re sitting close enough that as he reads I can lay my cheek on his hair and still see the pictures, or plant a kiss atop his sweet head. It was but a brief moment. He’s up and at ‘em now. Playing with his big brother, thoughts of breakfast still far off. But the warmth and love of the moment lingers, the happy, as does the serene smile on my lips. He’s nearly eight and a half and growing up way too fast. They both are. We have a date to build a potato clock later today. Wish me luck! 

today is the day

today is the day

that chemo starts again

not for me

for him

I am writing about burnt toast

and brightly colored socks

because it’s easier

to be chatty

about breakfast

and strands of cotton

than the unknown force

that six months of chemo

will be in my husband’s body

we all feel the apprehension

inside this house

we go together

at 12:30 p.m.

today is the day

Ugh. 

© Turquoise Tangles