in this moment

January 16, 2014

The Reality

I wrote that, “I’m logging off Facebook and going to my art table” caption an hour ago. I know because Facebook helpfully keeps track of that stuff. I went back to the Facebook post to get the caption quote right. WTH?! I can’t help it. It’s how I’m made. Accuracy matters, even if the task is whimsical like a red dragon post at Tumblr. While there, I admitted it, posting in comments, “I suck at this. I wrote emails and just blogged at Tumblr about this kickass red dragon post instead of losing my damn phone and walking to my art table. Now I need lunch first, then the dog will need to go out again. Just admitting it.” Honest. There it is. I can own that too.

January 16, 2014
12:42pm lunch time

January 16, 2014 Image

“Logging off Facebook and walking to my art table now. It’s that badass kickass red dragon that did it. I’ve made red dragon art and black dragon art. Dragons are part of my imagery. Thank you. It was the picture, more than the words that got my attention and said, ‘THIS MEANS YOU!’”

Above is the comment I wrote in the thread underneath this dragon photo on Facebook. Of course, I didn’t do it IMMEDIATELY. Now lunch is next. Good thing is that Blue is snoozing. Tired dog today. Smiling at him conked out, dreaming peacefully. I swear, my dog sleeps like a cat!

The caption under the dragon photo, written by Sarah Prineas, read, “Jump-In January Dragon Week Day Four (16th)
Today’s Dragon: Getting serious…” There was more to her encouraging post. She made her Facebook page a place Creatives could gather, name their goals aloud and keep themselves accountable to follow through. Cool.

Today I delivered six pieces of my artwork for a three month show (and hope for a possible sale). While it is the first time these six pieces are being shown together, or in this venue, they are a few years “old.” All six were made in 2012. Three in July and three in September. It is now 2014 and time to make new, but first I have some begun and abandoned pieces of art to return to and complete. It is time. Today. Right after lunch.

Facing dragons one by one. You have to face them before you can slay them. I am a Dragon Slayer. It says so on my handmade business cards in invisible ink. I know it’s there. I can own it. I do.

January 16, 2014

Dragon image from: http://blackmarches.wikidot.com/red-dragon-king

January 14, 2014 Image

Blue and I saw the sunrise begin along the horizon. It was orange and gold then, as we circled ‘round the block and headed toward the park for the first time in weeks, due to cold and snow packed sidewalks. We both were missing our longer route. A few days ago he tugged that way, but I said, “No” and we took the shorter route to home. Today we ventured further once again. I was feeling ready and the dog was more than eager. “Let me at ‘em,” he said, with his nose down tracking. As we rounded the corner to the wide park path the glaze of ice was evident. Drat. Plan B was better. We walked in the grass. Diagonal even. A shortcut, “As the crow flies,” to quote an old expression. Blue looked at me with eyes that said, “Really?! You sure about this?! Fine by me, just checking.” That dog. I love him. Amber eyes that say so much. He didn’t woof, just trotted and stopped until I tugged. We made it home. Told boys, “Time to get up.” No one did immediately. Eventually they did. Before then though, a rose colored light caught my attention through the kitchen window. Oh. I opened the sliding glass door to the back deck. This. Pink clouds galore. Rose colored light. The essence of living life focusing on the Bright Side. Rose colored glasses. Except it was the whole sky casting rose light everywhere it touched. What a glorious way to begin a day. Today. I stood on the deck alone for just mere moments. Blue watched from the other side of the door, but greeted me as I walked back in to home. Good morning. I woke up hungry before 4am, but stayed in bed awhile longer. Morning whirl of dog walked, boys to school, now I can stop and breathe a second. Much better. Breakfast for me is next. Today is here. Embrace it.

January 14, 2014

January 12, 2014

Heart hurts

Loss is loss.
Grief is grief.
Love is love.
No comparison necessary.
It hurts but love helps.
The more we love, the more it hurts. Time heals.
So does love.

January 12, 2014
The words above were my reply via text to KRB who first wrote, “Parent is not the same as a spouse..but a loss still hurts.” Prayers being said on a constant loop. I carry her heart hurts in my heart, as she did/does mine in hers. That’s what GFF BFFs do. We prop each other up with words via text, email and spoken on the phone. We meet in person too, but that is rarer and “more better” due to the rarity of it, and watch out when we do!

January 8, 2014

back to routine

7:27am
-Blue gave up fussing about not being able to see his dog buddy Jake, and decided to just eat breakfast instead.
-8th grade boy was shocked, amazed and thrilled to find a new MythBusters on the DVR this morning. You see, it’s not just a new MythBusters, but A NEW STAR WARS MYTHBUSTERS!!!! Are you kidding me?! Pure awesome right there.
-Best of all, thanks to the folks at Discovery Channel, that TV show was the incentive my 5th grade boy needed to come out from under the layers of cozy covers where he was burrowed when I told him it was wake up time, a little after 7a.
Up, dressed, breakfast, backpacks with lunches packed…we just might make it.
7:33am now
Gotta go!

The words above were posted in real time as my Facebook status. It is 8:24am as I post them here at Tumblr. I just walked through my front door, after delivering one boy curbside and waiting with the other until the bus arrived. It did. *whew* My breakfast time is next. Coffee. Taking my mom to the train station mid morning. I have a whisper of an idea for how I’m going to spend my day, but I’m not yet telling. Wednesday today. All day. Going to make it A Good One! First step is taking my winter coat off. I’m holding my phone with a turquoise knitted glove and typing with my thumb. I will. Letting the words flow ‘til then…

January 6, 2014

Thank you kindly

Dear Driver of the Maroon Pickup Truck,
Thank you for putting your snowplow blade down to bust through the drifts and heaps o’snow from the street plow at the bottom of my driveway. I tried to walk out and say, “Thank You” in person, but that’s when you started up the snowblower motor and we couldn’t hear each other. I headed back indoors through the cloud of snow dust you were making.
I watched you work from the front window, with one hand resting upon Blue. My big hearted, protector dog was window watching too. I was waiting for another chance to say, “Thanks. A LOT!”
Instead, my youngest son came upstairs asking about bacon to eat, round two. (It’s since been cooked and devoured now.) While in the moment still, I replied lightning fast to two messages on my phone, singing the praises of you, my unknown snow removal guy. Really?! Wow.
I made it back to the front window in time to see you back inside your truck, about to drive away. You’d left it running, for a quick getaway. Glad we exchanged that brief wave. Me, hanging out the front door with my winter coat on, still hoping to catch your name. You, already back in the driver’s seat, ready to roll. More snow to clear, before you called it a day. Your wave was as chivalrous as an old time, white hatted cowboy. Felt like I heard you say as you drove away, “You’re welcome. My pleasure, Ma’am.” So what if the dialogue is imagined, the sentiment is real. Thank you kindly in reply.
In one of those two texts, sent at 1:15pm today, I wrote, “Let me share a praise: A maroon pick up truck just came and plowed my drive. Then a man got out and is snow blowing the rest. I don’t know who but am thankful. Yesterday Jake the dog’s “dad” snow blew it some. Good people out there. Thankful here. God is so good. I’ve already been weepy today. What’s a few more tears? Joy kind. :)”
Just now, at 2:23pm Marilyn replied, “That is so neat Janean. God’s provision for you.”
I simply replied, “Yes. I know. Thankful, humbled and blessed. Amen”
I just want you to know I noticed and appreciate YOU!
Sincerely,
Janean M. Baird

P.S. For the record, the temperature at this moment, according to The Weather Channel app: -11*F (Feels like -35*F) Yep. Still Crazy Cold.
P.S.S. The weirdest part is your timing is that just moments before I’d been outside with Blue. He “went” fast and wanted to play, but I threw him back inside. I was going to go back out and shovel a bit. Cold schmold. I love being outside. I’d just closed the front door to unhook the dog’s leash when the house phone rang. It was my father in law, checking in. He joked about thinking he’d miss me, because I’d be outside shoveling. Told him honestly, I nearly was. We talked a bit before the call dropped and we switched to text, just a little after 1pm. So, if you read to the bottom of my note, “Thank you” once again.

January 6, 2014

January 6, 2014 Image

With record breaking cold temperatures being reported all over the country, it’s not that I NEED a picture to prove it, but I’m posting one anyway. Even though I’m An Illinois Girl, my dad grew up in Southern Illinois overlooking the Mississippi. As a result, I ended up with a fair amount Missouri Show Me. This is my definition of Crazy Cold. Thankful for a warm home, enough food and lots of layers of clothing when I go outside to shovel or with my dog, Blue.

January 6, 2014

January 6, 2014

smart dog

I reported at 6:15am, “Blue is sleeping in. Smart dog.”

Of course, just like with human children, when you remark on their sleep habits, they do the opposite to prove you wrong and by 6:38am, my Blue dog appeared beside my bed to see if I was awake too. I scratched his velvety ears and then he woofed to say, “Get up already!” I did.

In record time that dog and I went out and were back inside before 7:00am. Here’s my micro report from that excursion:

At first Blue went romping through the snow drifts thinking, “Woo hoo! This is fun!” Then he started limping and holding up a back paw. Suddenly the spot in front of our house between the sidewalk and curb, where the wind blew the snow down to where you can see the grass with a fire hydrant conveniently located nearby was THE SPOT and we’re both back inside. Dog looked at me not quite sure what kind of snow and cold that was today, nothing like the fun of yesterday. I told him he was a good boy and to go get warm. He ate a bite and is stationed in his front window watching post now. Good morning. Safe travels if you must.

The Weather Channel app declares it is -17*F and feels like -45*F. I keep calling it crazy cold, which is evidently what comes after snot freezing cold on my thermometer. I’m obviously not A Weather Girl. Usually I just wake up, get dressed enough and head outside because it’s time to walk the dog.

January 6, 2014