life’s a gamble

I’m just gonna let it all ride right now
We’ll know more on January 9th
Good news would tip emotional scale one way
Bad news would tip it down, down, down into the fiery, quicksand pit
Wait and see
Live and breathe
Step by step
Day by day
Between now and then
I’m just gonna let it all ride right now

December 29, 2012

I’m cryin’ as I write this
I feel like such a mess
wearin’ my cowgirl boots for courage
first time I’ve worn ‘em here
yet it’s the only fittin’ thing to do
I wanna tromp across the pasture
where the horses used to graze
and stand still in the barnyard
where we curried, combed and praised
those two horses of my childhood
Santas, short and stubborn
Copper, tall and true
how I loved them
and the time we spent
atop their steady backs
followin’ the trail you set
ridin’ double
or walkin’ side by side
trottin’ was for sometimes
gallopin’ hardly never
I’m cryin’ as I write this
nothin’ weak in that
you’ve always led by example
some lessons are harder than others
oh, how we both know
I’m writin’ heart thoughts that seem random
but go together ‘cause they do
got my boots and denim on
just like you

written Thursday, November 8, 2012
as I rode the southbound train from Normal to Alton, Illinois
the first leg of the trip

my turn
to break glass
I was on the phone
about the broken car
getting breakfast for my boys
reached in the cabinet
heard a crash
saw the broken shards of glass
thought the glass glass had broken
but no
it was the nice glass bowl
that was a wedding gift
15 years ago
it took me nearly that long
to figure out what to do with it
bought the coffee pot in January
put the bowl to work
holding half and half
now I’m looking for a plastic one
I can’t be trusted with glass
too delicate
and I’m feeling like that bull
the one in the china shop

August 3, 2012
9:00-ish a.m.

I first e-mailed this poem to my friend. The one who sent me a note about a glass that broke at her house while the dishwasher was being unloaded last night. She’s sharing it with her fourth grade daughter (the dishwasher unloader/glass put-er away-er too).