as morning comes
the sky brightens
it’s been a few days
since we’ve seen
a glow on the horizon
with a hint
of the morning sun
oh, how I hope
that today will be
a blue sky day
to feel the warmth
of the winter’s sun
on my face
and drink in the beauty
of varying shades of blue
across the heaven
perhaps with wisps
of white clouds
if we’re lucky
the day is filled
with promise
as morning comes
there are days you awake
with a sense of anticipation
today is one of those days
for me
my friends are coming over to play
we’re calling it A Planning Meeting
but under that Official Sounding Moniker
it’s a play date
for the women we are
artists and writers too
we’re having lunch
the four of us
fancy chicken salad and a veggie tray
with cookies and cake for dessert
maybe a walk afterwards
with the warmth of the sun
on a rare and wonderful 52˚ January day
rare for the Midwest anyway
my husband is teasing me
calling it a Cackle Party
he’s going out for lunch
instead of coming home
in the middle of his work day
after the daily drop off at 8:20 a.m.
to take my boys to school
I did some errands
just a few
I am home, by 10:00 a.m.
waiting for my friends
I smiled a serene smile
all through the grocery store
must of looked like
I was up to something
well, sometimes the happy shows
and oh, it feels so good
to be happy and hopeful
hello, 2012
so glad you’re here
it’s only day five
and I sort of love you
still grinning in anticipation here
watching the clock
’cause my friends are comin’ over
soon
© 2012 Turquoise Tangles
today would have been
my grandmother’s 96th birthday
she died on May 1, 2006
each year since her passing
I think of her on her birthday
January 4 shall always be
her birth day
she was a fascinating woman
a marvelous grandmother
an adventurer at heart
brave in big ways
and small ones
with hazel eyes
that twinkled when she grinned
and narrowed in inquisition
often a playful wink
I miss her
still
I love you, Grandma
I am thankful for
the many lessons
taught and learned
that I carry with me
your voice is still in my head
and my heart
today I’ll bake a cake for you
in the heart shaped cake pans
you gave me
long ago
and I’ll think about you
on what would have been
your 96th birthday
enjoy the celebration
from Heaven
upon waking
I know what I am about to do
the anticipation makes my mouth water
no coffee today
no herbal tea
made one mug at a time
today is a spice tea day
my mom’s recipe
a taste of home
the one I grew up in
the little house
at the end of the dead end street
the one with the kitchen so small
it was like an afterthought
oh, but the meals my mother made there
I smile at the memories
spice tea was special
not for everyday
for company
like when she hosted cards
the only outing with friends she went to each month
sometimes they’d come to our house
the living room would be filled with women
sitting at card tables in folding chairs
talking, laughing, snacking and even smoking
and no one smoked at our house
except my grandfather
the few times a year they visited
usually we went to them
spice tea became a Christmas traditon
mom would make it early
we’d drink it as we opened presents
ladled into Christmas mugs
one after the other
until the giant saucepan was empty
it is made for winter days and snow days
gloomy gray days
for the scent of cinnamon and cloves
makes you smile
even before the sugary citrus flavored tea
passes by your lips
I’ve burned my tongue more than once
rushing to take the first sip
oh, how I love it
today is one of those days
I didn’t make it on Christmas this year
I usually do
it’s early morning on New Year’s Eve day instead
the spice tea is on the stove
my first mug is at my elbow
almost time for the second
it’s as good as I remember mom making it
my sister too
a taste of home
soul food
comfort in a mug
memories too
© 2011 Turquoise Tangles
I hold back
instead of saying
what I think
I bite my tongue
I chafe at the bit
I gnash my teeth
I choke back the words
it is better this way
keeps the peace
on the outside
I’ve done it since forever
it is a habit now
smile and nod
be polite
maybe not always
but usually
for it is expected of me
I don’t want to disappoint
or raise eyebrows
heaven forbid
what if…
perhaps someday
but not today
until that day
I will keep
my secret self
buried
under the surface
damn
double damn
this is not how I wanted today to start
with a headache threatening at my temples upon waking
and you throwing my words from yesterday back at me
yes I do need quiet time
so I can handle the noise and commotion
but I need you too
I thought the walls came down
in the storm of emotion
a few weeks ago
but they are going back up
because the wounds are deep
on both sides
no wonder my head hurts
damn
double damn
this sucks
© Turquoise Tangles
Today is the last day of school for my children before Christmas Break begins.
That means there are 6,000 things to think of and try to do before they are home and out of school before Christmas.
Life has been a whirlwind lately, of this, that, and the other, and how I wish I had one more day before their school break.
As it is, I am helping set up the food in 6th grade at 11:40.
My oldest son volunteered us to bring fudge, which my husband and I made together last night before bed.
At 1:00 I am helping in 3rd grade, having prepped an animal snowflake craft for 27 students a few nights ago.
In between now (8:50 a.m.) and 11:40 when I am due at school I am going to eat breakfast, get cleaned up, go to Target, the bank, the grocery store, make one or two more stops and then come home before leaving for school between 11:00 and 11:15.
I will be so ready to be HOME at 3:00 when the school day is done.
My oldest son has a shopping date with his grandparents.
Then church tonight.
I have no idea what’s for supper.
I ruined supper last night, literally pouring it down the drain on accident.
The colander lid wasn’t locked onto the saucepan and all the spaghetti noodles slid from the pan into the sink and down the garbage disposal too fast to grab any back and serve ‘em.
So, instead of spaghetti for supper, my youngest son had a plate of reheated pancakes, my oldest son had two hot dogs and a slice of garlic bread, my husband had an apple turnover and glass of milk and I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and cheez-its.
*sigh*
I am thankful for food to eat and Plan B, that saved the day, once again.
This is why I haven’t been tumblin’ much.
Life is busy, in a good way, and I haven’t had time to daydream, the source of poetry.
At least mine.
I need time to gaze at sunrises and sunsets.
Time to listen to the clock tick with nothing pressing that needs to be done NOW!
Those quiet moments in the days ahead aren’t likely, but I’ll do the best I can to find them and savor them when they happen.
There is lots of Energetic Christmas Is Coming Boy Commotion in my future.
Lookin’ forward to it.
Merry Christmas to you…just in case I’m not back before December 25, 2011.
Love,
Janean
Turquoise Tangles 