Christmas sleuthing

I hope my children haven’t been snooping. They wouldn’t have to try very hard this year. Their gifts are still unwrapped, tucked in my bedroom closet. Evidently I left both the bedroom and closet doors open when I left my room earlier this evening. Left both lights on too. I didn’t plan to fall asleep! Practically an invitation to say, “Come on it and see what’s going on!” Doggone it! Thankfully now, they are asleep. Christmas morning is nearly here. The rest of tonight and then one more sleep. I’ll wrap tomorrow for sure. Tonight it is time to zzzzz.

December 24, 2013
12:25am, a new day just beginning, Christmas Eve Day is here.

Today was Happy New Front Door Day here! I. So. LOVE. It. A bare tree. Meant to be. *lots of smiling and kitchen happy dancing going on*
December 23, 2013

like coke bottles

Teenage boy was up and at ‘em early today. We enjoyed sharing morning quiet time. Visiting. Breakfasting without a rush.
I went in to wake up ATB at 7:09am and said, “Last day of school before Christmas Vacation.” I sort of sing-songed it. I picked up his glasses to clean ‘em, from where they were sitting on the nightstand beside his bed. Sweet boy rolled over, while rubbing his eyes awake, and calmly said, “Mom, there are already coke bottles going off inside me.” Even after drinking my morning coffee I still had to ask, “Coke bottles?” My ten year old boy replied, “Mentos. Diet coke. Get it?!” Oh, yes. I so do. Christmastime is for children and grown ups who don’t really wanna be “adults” at all. Christmas is magic, excitement and lots of happy energy about to combust. It’s a feeling that, if you’re lucky, always stays with you. Joy that bubbles up from deep inside.
My first conversation of the morning was with a teacher on the sidewalk. It was sometime before 6am, maybe before 5am. I’m not sure of the time exactly. “Early” covers it completely. I was walking with my Blue dog. We were sort of lollygagging along. She had Blue’s best buddy, Jake, who was dancing at the end of his leash. We visited like the neighbors and friends we are, as the dogs romped and played. I said, “I’m praying for ALL the teachers today.” We shared a smile under the streetlights glow.
Now I know the fifth grade boy description of what it feels like: Every child has coke bottles inside them, you know, like mentos and diet coke. (I’m being sort of a grown up and resisting adding the “Duh.”)
I treated my younger boy a little bit today, by offering to drive him, instead of waiting in the drizzling rain to ride the bus per usual. He needed a little less rush too. By 8:40am both my sons were delivered safely to school.
Their days will go by fast. Mine will too. For this quiet moment though, while I catch my breath and plan, Blue is curled up next to me, each of us on our favorite halves of the family room love seat. I need to make a mega list and wrap up the remaining Christmas To Do. Best of all, I’ll be smiling about coke bottles while I do. Oh, how I love them, and rejoice in the gift of my two sons. Christmas time is about the birth of God’s Son. Long ago. In a land afar. Angels first foretold, then announced his birth. Shepherds followed a star. Wise men began the journey to meet him. Baby Jesus. Born of a virgin. Joseph the carpenter was there, beside the manger. His mother, Mary, pondered all these things in her heart. I’ve always loved that quiet little verse, nestled in Luke 2. I’m a heart ponderer too. Everything changes in a moment. My phone rang, Blue jumped down and front window wild woofed, only to return again to curl beside me, as I work to wrap this up. My heart squeezes, my eyes leak. Tears of joy and the ring of laughter intertwines with the ache of grief. Life goes on. Christmas is coming, whether I’m “ready” or not. I’ll be ready, well, ready enough. Joy. Peace. Hope. Love. Blessings. Thankfulness. The Gift of God’s Son. Christmastime. Like coke bottles going off inside. That covers all the important stuff.

December 20, 2013
Luke 2:19 “But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.”

Life whirl

Life whirls by fast, like a marvelous dance.
Then the music stops and you’re dancing alone.

Some couples twirl for many decades.
They marry in their 20’s.
Their family grows with the arrival of babies.
Those babies grow to school age, then graduate from college.
Suddenly your babies have babies of their own.
Decades have flown.
The couple still holds hands and smiles.
They still stand and sway when music plays.
Inside they feel the same.
Outside their hair is silver.
They move a l’il slow, but get there.

Other couples have the music stop abruptly.
It’s the last thing they expect.
They spent a l’il over two decades together.
That’s all ‘twas meant to be.
She sat in the cemetery between their children,
as his body was laid to rest.
They won’t be dancing at their children’s weddings.
He’ll be watching from Heaven instead.

Life whirls by fast, like a marvelous dance.
Then the music stops and you’re dancing alone.
Life still whirls by at a breakneck pace.
Yet, your pace is set on savor.
Home feels good, like a cozy cocoon.
You venture out when necessary.
You pause and marvel at the sunrise.
You lift your face to feel the noonday sun.
You watch the moon wax then wane, and feel a tug.
Days pass.
Nights too.
Family and friends cross your doorstep.
Giving and receiving hugs for hello and goodbye.
Laughter returns, as joy bubbles from within.
Life whirls on.
Dance.
Set your own pace.

I do.
In the kitchen.
Alone.

December 19, 2013
I wish I could tag this “creative writing,” but it is a true story. Mine. After a two year and three month cancer fight, my husband died in August of this year. He had just turned 43. I was still 41. Now I’m 42. We were together over 21 years, counting from our first date. Together nearly half my life, married for 16. I didn’t want to write this poem, but when the words are there you learn to honor them and let them flow. Even when they make you cry crocodile tears that fall as you do. Perhaps this is why my dog was awake extra early today. Coffee and breakfast are next for me while my boys sleep a l’il longer and I can soak up the quiet of the house before chaos and commotion reign again. Zany. Crazy. Wild. Ornery. Rambunctious. Loud. LIFE! It is for living. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of today.
Love,
Janean

P.S. Nearly included this line, “Not quite four months ago, and it’s still hard to believe.” Adding it here as a footnote for now, to mull over later. It’s time to make that coffee, turn on music with the volume low, sing along and sway.

bedtime mayhem

I said, “It’s bedtime.”

My oldest son heard, “It’s time to put on a stormtrooper helmet, grab a noise-making blaster, blare the Imperial March from your back pocket, and come down to the main floor looking for a fight.”

My youngest son minded by getting pjs on but heard, “Grab a sharply pointed pencil to wield like a lightsaber, while simultaneously threatening your big brother with a glass of ice water, and moving quickly from here to there dodging blaster fire.”

Blue heard, “Mom’s tired. Everybody GO CRAZY!”

December 17, 2013

Blue is a snow dog. We were outside for two hours early this morning. During that time Blue ran and played with Jake (his canine buddy across the street with a fenced yard), we walked around the block so he could “go” and to greet the shoveling neighbors, in between those other endeavors the dog romped on the long leash that is temporarily fastened around the front yard tree while I cleared the driveway and sidewalk (even though we aren’t going anywhere). That was my 6:30a-8:45a. Then breakfast all around. Snow dog is love seat napping now. I have one more cup of coffee waiting to drink, but then I may join him. Happy snowy Saturday here.

December 14, 2013

day by day

“We make plans and God laughs.” I seriously said that aloud earlier this week, on Monday in fact. Like a “bring it on” idiot. Plans change. Sometimes fast. Thankful it’s just flu, and nothing worse. My Grandpa will still turn 98 tomorrow, just without us there in person. We’ll be there in spirit, and keep our germs at home. We have everything we need and will all be A OK soon. I boarded the dog anyway. That too is for the best. Funny thing is, in 20/20 hindsight, I scheduled more things this week than I’ve attempted all in a row for awhile. When first my youngest son was sick on Sunday, I started rescheduling, canceling and shuffling things around. The things meant most to happen did – like helping K3 finger paint, getting groceries (more jello), and visiting fast with friends. My oldest son knew I planned to call both boys off school today, so he diligently worked ahead. I had hoped he’d dodged this bug, but the 8th grader has it now. “Confirmed” like on MythBusters. Quarantined too. That’s what’s happening at my house. Happy Friday and wishing good health to you!

Chicken Italiano laughs

Supper was nice. The three of us sat down to eat. Then, my oldest son spilled half his drink onto his plate. I was glad I cooked a bunch o’noodles because there was plenty to dish up more. Erin, my friend since second grade, and my mother remember the story I told next… About the night I made crockpot Chicken Italiano long ago, a nice supper. I can’t recall the year right now, but my oldest son cried all through supper about it being, “the worst day ever” because we expected him to taste/try the delicious food I’d made. My husband picked out all the tomato chunks out of the pasta sauce and left them on his plate. Then my youngest son accidentally spilled his ice water into his dad’s lap, at which point my husband’s plate, with uneaten tomato chunks, flipped into the sliding glass door blinds. I made a nice supper!!!! This is what happened instead that night. I remember. The boys laughed tonight in the retelling. There is more to the story, but it is a Blue-emergency. Today was/is A Good One. Best of all, it’s not over yet.

October 2, 2013

a pasta smile

Cooking TIE fighter pasta for supper tonight. That’d be “farfalle” or “bow ties” for the rest of you. My husband came up with the Star Wars name to convince our sons to try eating pasta in a new shape. The name stuck. Tonight when I said I was cooking “tubes” or “TIE fighters” my oldest boy requested the latter. I’m cooking it using the super fancy, really nice, saucepan with a strainer insert that my husband and the boys gave me one Christmas. (This was a week or so after I tried to drain the pasta fast, using just the saucepan lid to drain the water, and instead poured our supper into the sink with the garbage disposal.) Oops. May the force be with you.

October 2, 2013