finished mending
awhile ago
may read a bit
don’t want to go to sleep
some nights
I hate the dark
February 12, 2013
12:18 a.m.
finished mending
awhile ago
may read a bit
don’t want to go to sleep
some nights
I hate the dark
February 12, 2013
12:18 a.m.
brrrrrrr
stars
Orion
yawn
goodnight
February 11, 2013
walking Blue dog before bedtime

My coffee pot is f’ing broken.
I just might cry.
I need caffeine.
Gonna pour what brewed.
Only half of what shoulda.
Ack! No! Not today!
Glad to be home,
but I’ve been awake,
since the wee hours
in the night.
I. NEED. COFFEE. NOW!
Damn it.
January 27, 2013
I’m breathing in crisp night air
while standing on the curb
just outside the hospital doors
waiting for the hotel shuttle
whisking me back
for my last night in Princess Room
if only I could see the moon
but alas, it’s too cloudy
January 25, 2013
Loyola hospital
near Chicago
northern Illinois
darkness arrives early
and settles all around
the stars are out tonight
I smile up at them
they twinkle back at me
there is Orion
the mighty hunter
with three diagonal stars
the moon is missing
out of view
‘twas less than half size
last time I spied her
in the light of morning
a few days past
when the moon lingered
visible a little longer
shining at the same time
as the sun
in a sky of pale blue
January 6, 2013
blackness fills the sky above
stars peek and twinkle some
a crescent moon hangs askew
a cold wind blows
December 18, 2012
Last night I slept not long, under the grin of a crooked crescent moon.
On an early morning walk with the dog, the stars were still a twinklin’.
But try as I might, I couldn’t find that slim, silver crescent in the dark of early morn.
November 17, 2012
Dear Reckless Girl,
You met my husband yesterday at work. He was on patrol, so that’s not necessarily a good thing. He told me about you, in the late afternoon stillness of our house, on a Sunday afternoon. No names. No identifying data. That’d be confidential and it still is.
I’d been sort of napping, while the dog woofed, the phone rang and the children were next door, at the neighbors. I kept my eyes closed as he told about how you were woken up rather abruptly on Sunday morning, after a wild night of partying with college boys, yet you’re still in high school.
I listened. I heard. I thought back to over 20 years ago. Some things never change. Damn it. Why can’t they change for the better?!
Why can’t teenage girls, with a woman’s body and a girl’s heart, have enough self esteem and strength of character to resist this cycle of drinkin’, flirtin’ and gettin’ naked when the weekend rolls around?! Today’s Monday, and you’ll be sittin’ pretty in your high school honors classes, perhaps whisperin’, grinnin’ and gigglin’ with your best friend about your wild child escapades.
Next weekend will be much of the same. It’s a cycle. An ugly one. A hurtful one. It hurts on the inside, where no one can see. You’re hurting yourself, not those you are rebelling against. You. You’re hurting you.
What seems so fun in the moment is just a temporary escape. The dark of night only lasts so long, to hide your secret self. In morning’s light you’re still you, with effects from the night before lingering as a reminder.
You did those things. Now, face yourself in the mirror. That’s right, look into your eyes. Yep. There it is. Just as I thought. Hurt and brokenness, covered up with sass and feigned bravado.
I don’t know your name. You don’t know mine. But I know your teenage heart that yearns for true love, and your mixed up head that’s so smart in book learnin’ durin’ the week and so foolish in choices made on the weekend. Some things never change. Damn it.
It’s up to you. You have to break the cycle. Oh, it won’t be now. You’re having too much fun…or so you think. But someday, instead of drinkin’ until you’re so trashed you don’t care who you get busy with, you’ll meet him. And odds are good that it won’t be at a bar or a drinkin’ party. He’ll love you for your head and heart and well, as a bonus he’ll think you’re kinda sexy too.
For now, just think about it. I hope you have good friends. The kind who can tell you when you’re being too reckless, even for them, to hang out with. The kind who know the whole ugly truth but love you anyway, because they just do.
Love,
Someone Who Cares

Home for the night.
Wearin’ fuzzy slippers.
Cookin’ frozen pizza for two middle school boys.
(My oldest son and his friend from next door.)
They are playin’ video games in the basement.
My youngest son is right there with them.
Always.
Home.
October 5, 2012
NOTE: This is my 600th Tumblr post. Something had to be. Figured it might as well be about family, food and home. Those three things are all tangled up together – at least for me.
In one of the bedtime story collections my children have from long ago was this prayer, “I see the moon and the moon sees me. God bless the moon and God bless me.” I often think of it, and whisper it aloud, especially when the moon is glowing big and bright, sometimes by day, but usually at night. ~ Janean
September 30, 2012