poetry
cloud cover
stepped out the front door
Blue dog tuggin’ to the left
toward his best girl, Luna
she is aptly named
for high in the sky
above the house
where Luna lives
was a glowin’ 3/4 moon
in a lavender tinted sky
next thing I knew
clouds had covered
o’er her beauty
by the time we circled home
that big Blue dog and me
the mornin’ sky was bright
though clouds remain
a fittin’ metaphor
for my life
January 31, 2013
love pups
Blue and Luna
They’ve seen each other twice today
To frolic, bark and play
Luna in her backyard
Blue boy on the sidewalk
Damn fence
January 30, 2012

My coffee pot is f’ing broken.
I just might cry.
I need caffeine.
Gonna pour what brewed.
Only half of what shoulda.
Ack! No! Not today!
Glad to be home,
but I’ve been awake,
since the wee hours
in the night.
I. NEED. COFFEE. NOW!
Damn it.
January 27, 2013
still standing
I’m breathing in crisp night air
while standing on the curb
just outside the hospital doors
waiting for the hotel shuttle
whisking me back
for my last night in Princess Room
if only I could see the moon
but alas, it’s too cloudy
January 25, 2013
Loyola hospital
near Chicago
northern Illinois

I love the rain
Spring rains will come soon
thunderstorms and gentle mists
I welcome both
I love walking in the woods
and on a gravel road
lined with trees on either side
I love resting
whether on a proper bench
or plopping on the ground
I love the river
especially Grandpa’s river
the mighty Mississippi
standing atop his bluff
looking o’er her curving path
there I can breathe
I love to smile
and often do
a gentle curve of lips
or crooked at the corner
a flash of teeth and quick laugh
full wattage mega kind too
the best ones reach my eyes
I love the rain
I walk my dog without an umbrella
wearing rain boots with peacocks
splashing through puddles
with a grin
laughing at my prancing pup
I am not dead. I am here. Thank you, God, for these simple things and the ability to find joy in quiet moments such as these. Thank you for family and friends, and the powerful prayers of Your people who are lifting up my cancer fighting husband and me and our boys asking for the strength and courage we need to weather this vicious storm. We are thankful, humbled and oh, so very blessed. Hope bubbles fresh anew each day. Your love will see us through. ~Janean
January 25, 2013
Photograph taken on January 16, 2013, standing atop my Grandpa’s bluff, overlooking his river, my Heart Home, that place where I can breathe.
Here Lies the Remains of a Girl Who–Did What Now?: Put yourself back together.
- Sit quietly in a storm without an umbrella, without a word of complaint. Let the rain wash away every ounce of bitterness that has been used to write a eulogy on your skin.
- You’re not dead.
- Remember.
- Drive down to the river. Drive down to where the industrial waste has not re-colored the…
I love the rain
Spring rains will come soon
Thunderstorms and gentle mists
I welcome both
I love walking in the woods
and on a gravel road
lined with trees on either side
I love resting
whether on a proper bench
or plopping on the ground
I love the river
especially Grandpa’s river
the mighty Mississippi
standing atop his bluff
looking o’er her curving path
there I can breathe
I love to smile
and often do
a gentle curve of lips
or crooked at the corner
a flash of teeth and quick laugh
full wattage mega kind too
the best ones reach my eyes
I love the rain
I walk my dog without an umbrella
wearing rain boots with peacocks
splashing through puddles
with a grin
laughing at my prancing pup
I am not dead. I am here. Thank you, God, for these simple things and the ability to find joy in quiet moments such as these. Thank you for family and friends, and the powerful prayers of Your people who are lifting up my cancer fighting husband and me and our boys asking for the strength and courage we need to weather this vicious storm. We are thankful, humbled and oh, so very blessed. Hope bubbles fresh anew each day. Your love will see us through. ~Janean
January 25, 2013
Here Lies the Remains of a Girl Who–Did What Now?: Put yourself back together.

my heart hurts
I am breathing
I’m also standing
in a sunbeam
in the hallway of windows
just a few steps past
my husband’s hospital room
it’s quiet here
just the sound
of the heater running
that helps too
and stillness
no one is bustling about
I’ll go back…
in just a bit…
I am breathing
January 22, 2013

in the hospital cafeteria
at a table for two
with a chair just for one
got a vegetarian rice tomato balsamic thing
dug my book outta my bag
the romance one
set in Ireland
written about dreamers
for dreamers
quite a lovely lunch
January 22, 2013

I smiled quietly this morning
standing in a window lined hallway
seven stories up
savoring the sun shining in
turned toward North
(I guess)
since Chicago skyline
is on the horizon
I’d stepped out of the hospital room
to call my sister
left a message for her
with my voice breaking
and a few tears falling
at the end
January 22, 2013
Loyola hospital
Chicago suburbs
northern Illinois