“We make plans and God laughs.” I seriously said that aloud earlier this week, on Monday in fact. Like a “bring it on” idiot. Plans change. Sometimes fast. Thankful it’s just flu, and nothing worse. My Grandpa will still turn 98 tomorrow, just without us there in person. We’ll be there in spirit, and keep our germs at home. We have everything we need and will all be A OK soon. I boarded the dog anyway. That too is for the best. Funny thing is, in 20/20 hindsight, I scheduled more things this week than I’ve attempted all in a row for awhile. When first my youngest son was sick on Sunday, I started rescheduling, canceling and shuffling things around. The things meant most to happen did – like helping K3 finger paint, getting groceries (more jello), and visiting fast with friends. My oldest son knew I planned to call both boys off school today, so he diligently worked ahead. I had hoped he’d dodged this bug, but the 8th grader has it now. “Confirmed” like on MythBusters. Quarantined too. That’s what’s happening at my house. Happy Friday and wishing good health to you!
Love
honest love
My ten year old son says, “Hey Mom, wanna know why I’m glad you lost so many pounds?”
I ask, “Why?”
He responds, “Because there is less of you.”
I reply with a chuckle, “Thanks. It feels better to me too.”
November 7, 2013
Taking Stock…The Things That Matter Most: my body…broke insideso no one can seebut i know now i will be finei’m…
my body…broke inside
so no one can see
but i know now i will be fine
i’m on my knees…finally mei look to the Heavens
my arms spread open wide
sometimes Faith takes time
for those who are broke…insideHe see’s what others cannot
He accepts my faults from above
He takes my hand and leads me home
He sacrificed His Son to show His love
He is my refuge and my fortress
He is where my strength comes from
He protects me in the shadow of His wings
He cares for me, loves me
He forgives me again and again
He provides for the sparrows
and also for me and my boys
I am thankful
So very thankful
What a journey it has been
Climbing mountains so steep
Wandering in the vast wilderness
Desert dry as we sought an oasis
Mountains moved by Faith
Paths appearing where there seemed no way
Hope springing eternal
A fount of many blessings
Through it all we pray
Renewal in the final weeks
Walking through the valley
of the shadow of death
God’s promises are real
His covenants
He goes before you
He prepares the way
Fear not
Do not be ashamed
He will never leave you
Pray “Your will, not mine”
Be still
and know that He is God
The God of Moses
The God of Daniel
The God of David
Father of Jesus
He is our Father
in Heaven
He is there
He will heal your heart
Trust Him today
October 27, 2013
two months and a day since my husband died
circling around
road trip today
headed South
first to college Homecoming
it’s been 20 years now
then my Grandpa’s place
family gathering
needed to be here
my heart home
October 5, 2013
Chicken Italiano laughs
Supper was nice. The three of us sat down to eat. Then, my oldest son spilled half his drink onto his plate. I was glad I cooked a bunch o’noodles because there was plenty to dish up more. Erin, my friend since second grade, and my mother remember the story I told next… About the night I made crockpot Chicken Italiano long ago, a nice supper. I can’t recall the year right now, but my oldest son cried all through supper about it being, “the worst day ever” because we expected him to taste/try the delicious food I’d made. My husband picked out all the tomato chunks out of the pasta sauce and left them on his plate. Then my youngest son accidentally spilled his ice water into his dad’s lap, at which point my husband’s plate, with uneaten tomato chunks, flipped into the sliding glass door blinds. I made a nice supper!!!! This is what happened instead that night. I remember. The boys laughed tonight in the retelling. There is more to the story, but it is a Blue-emergency. Today was/is A Good One. Best of all, it’s not over yet.
October 2, 2013
a pasta smile
Cooking TIE fighter pasta for supper tonight. That’d be “farfalle” or “bow ties” for the rest of you. My husband came up with the Star Wars name to convince our sons to try eating pasta in a new shape. The name stuck. Tonight when I said I was cooking “tubes” or “TIE fighters” my oldest boy requested the latter. I’m cooking it using the super fancy, really nice, saucepan with a strainer insert that my husband and the boys gave me one Christmas. (This was a week or so after I tried to drain the pasta fast, using just the saucepan lid to drain the water, and instead poured our supper into the sink with the garbage disposal.) Oops. May the force be with you.
October 2, 2013
morning light
early morning
brisk air walk
sky still dark
as if midnight
my favorite
crescent moon
hangs crooked
shining in the sky
amidst many stars
Orion the hunter
armed and ready
dog curled up
love seat snoozing
I’m debating
catch more zzzzzz’s
or coffee
September 28, 2013
6:20am

pink clouds and a half moon
sit atop a pale blue sky
I look heavenward
from the sidewalk
just outside my front door
Blue dog standing next to me
walking is our daily routine
it is the sky above
that changes
surprising us
with hints of glory
September 27, 2013
photo taken at 6:40am
words began as first two lines
and a snippet of thought
wrote a little more just now
at 9:40am
while standing in the kitchen
as the aroma
of just brewed coffee
beckons

Blue’s birthday cake that the people ate after singing “Happy Birthday” to the dog.
September 26, 2013

Loving my backyard hangout spot, with my jean-clad butt plopped on a corner of the patio, not in a chair. My bare feet are in the grass and my toes are tapping and I am singing along to the Praise songs playing from my ipad mini. I’m posting this via mobile of course! My silver laptop, with letters long ago worn off the keys, awaits. The luxury of a full keyboard is a new one, after writing so much tapping via a tiny touch screen. That Birthday Dog is eating grass. Ugh. Best of all, the oven timer just went off, which means later today there will be a delectable chocolate cake. Maybe it seems silly to you to make all this fuss over a dog’s birthday, thinking, “Two years old, big whoop. He’s a dog.” It’s so much more than that though, as most things in life are. There are many layers and undertones. We bought Blue seven months into my husband’s two years and three month long cancer fight. That dog saved me. Blue got me out of the house and under the sky, at all hours of the day and night, walking, moving, and helped me take off the stress induced, comfort food eating, weight. A month ago my husband’s soul went to Heaven. He is no longer in pain. It was four weeks ago on Monday, but it is a calendar month today. Since I was a young girl being outside made it better. Whatever “it” was in my life, being outdoors soothed me from the inside out. I need the grass between my toes, the sun on my face and the breeze blowing my dark brown hair. Blue knows Outside Makes It Better too. He’s a really smart pup, my Blue. I love him more than I should, but that’s the beauty of love, you don’t divide it, you multiply it. A lesson from my mother. She’s really smart too!
~ Janean
September 26, 2013