I’m cryin’ as I write this
I feel like such a mess
wearin’ my cowgirl boots for courage
first time I’ve worn ‘em here
yet it’s the only fittin’ thing to do
I wanna tromp across the pasture
where the horses used to graze
and stand still in the barnyard
where we curried, combed and praised
those two horses of my childhood
Santas, short and stubborn
Copper, tall and true
how I loved them
and the time we spent
atop their steady backs
followin’ the trail you set
ridin’ double
or walkin’ side by side
trottin’ was for sometimes
gallopin’ hardly never
I’m cryin’ as I write this
nothin’ weak in that
you’ve always led by example
some lessons are harder than others
oh, how we both know
I’m writin’ heart thoughts that seem random
but go together ‘cause they do
got my boots and denim on
just like you

written Thursday, November 8, 2012
as I rode the southbound train from Normal to Alton, Illinois
the first leg of the trip

I have a hanky in my pocket
I’m leakin’ all kinds of tears
my heart, oh how it’s hurtin’
some solace waits for me there
my parents went south yesterday
the highway called their name
my cousin always lives there
next door to Grrr
who got me on this train
for grandpa’s birthday is the reason
number 97 is nearly here
I’m arrivin’ one day early
today’s the day I could come
“Happy last day of 96!”
I brought the last jar of alien goo
they’re really, “Green Tomato Pickles”
but either way, I made ‘em just for you

written Thursday, November 8, 2012
as I rode the southbound train from Normal to Alton, Illinois
the first leg of the trip

takin’ the train
and headin’ south
leavin’ town
just for the day
runnin’ to my heart home
where the eagles fly
and white tail play
goin’ to the big brown house
sittin’ high atop the bluff
the home place
thick with woods
and wild things
lookin’ out o’er the river
the mighty Miss-is-ip
Grandpa’s River
since always
travelin’ round trip

written Thursday, November 8, 2012
as I rode the southbound train from Normal to Alton, Illinois
the first leg of the trip

if

if I blogged anonymous
you might meet the real me
I’d be a little more open
a little more carefree

if I blogged anonymous
your eyebrows might go up
there’d be more secrets told
and less talk about my pup

if I blogged anonymous
it might work for awhile
till someone got suspicious
and figured it out with a smile

if I blogged anonymous
there might be a lot more tears
mine and many others
as I reveal my fears

if I blogged anonymous
it might help me let things go
instead I write ‘em in a journal
or email close friends who know

November 2, 2012

white puffy clouds
bright blue sky
palm trees too
a day made for dreamin’
though the sun
played peekaboo
sighing sighs
the happy kind
serene smiles too
unwindin’
from the inside out
vacation days
go by too soon
real world thoughts
try to intrude
not yet
go away
it’ll keep
awhile longer
today is for palm trees
even though
the soon to be bare
maples and oaks
wait for me
at home

October 22, 2012

I am in love with the light this fall. This morning’s sky looks like a pastel drawing. And yes, I hung out of my oldest son’s second story window to take this photograph from above the treetops. I took the screen out long ago for moments such as this. Just know, it’s better in person. Changing in brightness, hue and warm orange glow before my very eyes. I’m greeting the sun with a smile on my lips and good morning wishes for you. ~ Janean

October 17, 2012

today is for tie dye
to combat the overcast sky outside
I’m resurrecting Tie Dye Friday
just for today
‘cause a few years ago it made me grin
and got me through a rough spot
good old tie dye
in every color of the rainbow
turquoise and purple too
my favorite
and second favorite hue
now I’m wishin’ a Happy Tie Dye Friday to you!
~ Janean

October 6, 2012