dog

September 2, 2012

a mother’s intuition

I saw my mom today
she said, “You look tired.”
I nodded my head for yes and said, “mmm”
‘cause I am
I didn’t trust myself to say more
She tried to draw me out by asking, “Early morning?”
I answered, “Yes” aloud
and resisting adding, “Aren’t they all?!”
She wanted to ask more
but we weren’t alone
my husband’s family was there
standin’ in the driveway
Blue dog on a leash
eating’ grass
oblivious to emotion
happy to be in the front yard
while family visited
all around
I’m weary today
on the inside
and weepy
which shows
on the outside
especially in my tired eyes
mom’s just know
when their babies are hurting
even when their “baby” is forty
with babies of her own
some days are harder than others
this one has had too many tears
I’m hoping that means
I’ve cried tomorrow’s already
‘cause my mom
will be askin’ me how I am again
quite soon
until then
her intuition is workin’ overtime

September 2, 2012

August 30, 2012

cat + dog = lavender

That cat is at it again
I swear she is the one that’s going to push me right over the edge
You know
The edge between sorta sane and completely off your rocker
I’ve been balance beaming along it for months now
She’s still mad about the dog
That sweet pup we brought home eight months ago
My goodness can she hold a grudge
She’s tried everything she can think of to express her displeasure
She’s growled, hissed, and scratched his cold, black, puppy nose with her menacing front claws
She tried a starvation diet too
I thwarted that one by opening a can of soft food that was too tantalizing for her to resist
She’s “gone” on the dirty laundry
…and more recently the bedroom floor
I don’t have time to deal with her antics and clean up her messes
But clean I do
Washing machine set on “sanitize” to neutralize that awful smell
Today I tried a new one
‘Cause I’m barely holding on
I mixed a potion of pleasing scent to spray upon the clean again bedroom carpet
The side of the box said 4 oz. water and 18 drops of lavender oil
I think I counted 21
Hope it deters her
Hope it gets her back in her box for “business”
After the potion mixing was done
I squeezed one more drop onto my index finger
And dabbed a drop of lavender oil behind my ears
It was chemo unhook day
That one’s tougher than tough
When the completed infusion hits hardest
I hugged my husband goodbye
Before carline at school
He said, “Mmmmmm, you smell nice.”
I smiled and replied, “It’s lavender.”
Drat that cat
Do I have to give her the credit?!
~ Janean

August 30, 2012

August 28, 2012

the one I know

This morning, as Blue and I stepped onto the backyard deck, into the brisk 4:30am air, my breath caught at the brightness of the morning stars against the dark of night. An oft repeated Van Gogh quote came to mind, “…the sight of stars makes me dream.” Yes. Me too. Then, my still sleepy eyes looked up, opened a little wider, and I said aloud, “Orion’s back.” The Hunter. The one constellation I know. It’s those three diagonal stars that glisten from his belt. I’d know them anywhere. Even shining low in the eastern sky, surprising me on an early August morning. ~ Janean

August 28, 2012

August 26, 2012

Little Red and Blue

This morning, as I walked my big dog, Blue around the block, I thought to myself, “If I were wearing a red jacket with a hood right now, it’d look to passersby like Little Red Riding Hood walkin’ The Big Bad Wolf.” My grin was quick and no laugh escaped to be carried on the wind. Besides, looks can be deceiving…though I do own a red hooded rain coat. ~ Janean

August 25, 2012

August 15, 2012 Image

I ran barefoot
through the backyard
this morning
the grass still damp
from dew
right on through the neighbor’s too
I am not a runner
twas quite the sight to see
my arms waving in the air
and that big dog Blue following me
I had to get his attention
and distract him
from the scent of squirrel
he slipped his collar
ran off leash
faster than we knew
my wild pup tasted freedom
(and rather liked the flavor)
I bounded back to our yard
winded and wheezing
eyes on that running dog
when they saw my husband
standing straight and tall
I’d left the sliding door open
pup and I were nowhere to be found
then he sees us round the corner
sure
the dog goes to him when called
he holds the pup
I reattach his collar
add his blue leash too
back inside we file
one, two, three
man, dog and me

August 15, 2012

July 21, 2012 Image

Dear Queen Anne,
I love your lace.
I always have.
Since childhood.
When I’d tuck a stem behind my ear and the delicate blooms would tickle my face.
I picked a dozen and wove the long stems into a crown, oblivious to the minute white petals in my hair long after the crown was gone.
I chose the prettiest blooms and presented them to my grandma in a great big bunch.
Flowers, flowers everywhere in her multilayered gardens, but the only one I was allowed to pick was your lace, Queen Anne.

Time passes.
That young girl, once so carefree, grew into a woman with a family of her own.
But I’m still me.
In the light of early morning, walking my sweet pup on a new path, I spied a familiar flower.
For I never could call it a weed, with a name as lovely as, “Queen Anne’s Lace.”
Hello my friend.
Thank you for waking up my memories, of those childhood days long gone.
My grandma is gone now too.
Smiling down from heaven as I snapped off a single bloom and kept on walking.
Heading home.
Puppy slowing down, pulling less, heeling more.
I know full well it’s against the rules to pick flowers in a public park, as they are there for everyone to enjoy.
I rationalized no one would miss one weed…
Even though in my heart I didn’t think it so.
Thank you for the beautiful, pure white, intricate blooms of your lace, Queen Anne.
I’ll be walking that way again and a flower may or may not follow me home again…
(Depending a bit on who is reading.)
Love,
Janean

July 21, 2012