I have turquoise toes
adorned with sparkly flowers
a gift from my mother
pedicures for the three of us
my mom, my sister and I
Girl Time
The Best Kind
with smiles, laughter filled conversation and love all around
the pampering was nice too
mmmmmm, needed that
more than I knew
I don’t recognize these feet as mine
for my toe nails were naked all summer
no time to paint ‘em
let alone time to be still
and have them done
a mother’s love
a woman who knows her daughters better than we know ourselves
so thankful for them both
my mother and my sister
both big pieces
of my heart

September 13, 2012

a mother’s intuition

I saw my mom today
she said, “You look tired.”
I nodded my head for yes and said, “mmm”
‘cause I am
I didn’t trust myself to say more
She tried to draw me out by asking, “Early morning?”
I answered, “Yes” aloud
and resisting adding, “Aren’t they all?!”
She wanted to ask more
but we weren’t alone
my husband’s family was there
standin’ in the driveway
Blue dog on a leash
eating’ grass
oblivious to emotion
happy to be in the front yard
while family visited
all around
I’m weary today
on the inside
and weepy
which shows
on the outside
especially in my tired eyes
mom’s just know
when their babies are hurting
even when their “baby” is forty
with babies of her own
some days are harder than others
this one has had too many tears
I’m hoping that means
I’ve cried tomorrow’s already
‘cause my mom
will be askin’ me how I am again
quite soon
until then
her intuition is workin’ overtime

September 2, 2012

5:30 a.m. on Tuesday, April 10, 2012, added two quarts of oil to my wonderful old gal, Lola the Corolla. There is now more than the merest smidge of oil on the end of the dipstick. Last Friday afternoon, as I drove around town with my sons, my empty fuel light AND my oil light were coming on as a WARNING. Thankfully the fuel fill up was in a nick of time and we didn’t run all the way out of gas. Bought oil at the grocery store last night. I’m sure I paid too much, but it was my last chance to see to it for a few days time and it needed to be done. I’m so glad my dad saw fit to teach me how to check and add oil to my car. I remembered to use a funnel this time, so the garage floor doesn’t have an oil puddle. He taught me other cool stuff too like how to bait a hook, cast a line, shoot a gun, gas weld, fry an egg, cook a burger, sew a button on and drive. The two lessons that were obvious at the time, and not veiled in conversation, are:
1. Don’t speed in small towns.
2. Seek the good and shun the bad.
The second was uttered, as we were left the house I grew up in, on the way to college for my freshman year. That was when his dad shared it with him too. My grandpa heard it from his uncle when he left home to serve in WWII. My children have heard it already. More than once. I’m not waiting until they are eighteen to pass it on. They need now. We all do. All this to say, Dads are special. Oil Pouring Writing About Random Stuff Moms are too, even if we do have to say so ourselves. It’s 5:55 a.m. now. Time to make lunches, pack snacks for testing and write a schedule for today because it’s Mom’s Day Off. Granted, I have to go to the hospital to get one. You see, I’m running on empty and need some TLC, just like my old Corolla. I’ll be OK. Just need to be flat and still after the procedure so I’m off work until tomorrow morning when Blue says, “Woof”, or I wake up on my own. Whichever comes first.

“Happy Day Before Easter!”
it’s the kind of thing my mom always says
I’m the mom now
twas a magnificent sunrise
with red clouds
atop a golden glow
three dozen eggs are boiling
and the youngest boy age eight
is awake and asking, “When?”
“When are we going to dye eggs?”
soon
they are boiling now
and we wouldn’t start
without your brother
busy day
this Saturday
soccer game one at 11:30
soccer game two at 1:30
family meal at my in-laws at 4:00
Easter pageant (night two) at 7:00
a vet trip is pending
my sweet Blue pup had surgery on Wednesday
for, well, you know
and a hernia repair too
he’s pathetic and lethargic
and I’m a worried dog mom
we’re going to laugh, love, smile and cry
hopefully happy tears
perhaps growl a bit too
(and I’m not talkin’ about Blue)
for these are the things families do
indeed it is a
Happy Day Before Easter

…and I just bet
that my mom
will still wish me one
before the day is through

Sunrise over the backyard at 6:50am.
On a Saturday.
Been up since 5:00.
I am A Dog Mom now.
He woofed.
My feet hit the floor to let him out.
You know.
To go.
Stayed up.
Might as well.
Morning is here.
Loving the coffee.
And the Puppy & Me time.
He’s A Good Dog.
My Blue.
Just as well I didn’t know
That it was only ten degrees
Until AFTER our 20 minute morning walk
He’s ready for a nap now
Smart Boy that he is
Of course it’s as my other boys are waking up
The two smaller ones
And the big one
The sun is rising higher
The sky is brighter
Saturday has Officially Begun

puppy love

Sometimes Hope comes wrapped in tan and black fur, with floppy ears, a big lolling tongue, a long wagging tail and the name, Blue. 

We bought our first dog yesterday.
A 14 week old German Shepherd puppy.
My husband has wanted a German Shepherd since before we were married. 
That’s been over 14 1/2 years ago now. 
We needed something happy and hopeful.
A dog is both. 
He helps us look past May, when the chemo treatments end. 
He helps us think about the day that my husband is done with all these doctors and surgeries and make plans for a cancer free future.
We just knew he was our dog. 
From a google search my husband did on Monday, and the pictures of him playing with a kitten that were e-mailed to us later that day. 
A brief talk with the breeder on Tuesday to set up the appointment to meet him on Saturday. 
Thankful for a second call on Friday, before someone else came to meet him Friday afternoon. 
Gave us a chance to put a deposit down, to say aloud and with certainty, he’s going to be our dog. 
A visit with my parents, grandfather and cousins on Friday night and Saturday morning in Southern Illinois. 
Then on to meet our dog and bring him home. 
Oh, how we love him. 
He fits into our family just right. 
Keeping us all more on the go, more unplugged and more together, than we’ve been of late. 
My husband is talking about renaming him. 
The boys and I agree though, that Blue is just right too. 
Today is Day 2. 
So far so good.
Thank you for sharing our happy news. 
We are kicking off 2012 with Hope, and will be busy loving and chasing and training our new dog, Blue. 
Thank you for your continued prayers, as my husband gets hooked up to his third round of chemo on Tuesday. 
Unhooked on Thursday, which is when the nausea usually hits the hardest. 
We’ll keep in touch…and share puppy pictures too. 
Oh, he’s super great and wonderful and pretty as can be, handsome actually, as he’s a boy dog. 
The girls are getting more outnumbered all the time. 
One mom and one girl cat, who is Not Amused. 
One dad, two sons and one boy dog, our newest addition. 
Love,
Janean
P.S. We are so keeping his name…if I get to add any weight to my vote at all…and because I’m trouble enough to try to get you on my side to keep it as is. Happy Sunday! We’ve played all morning with our puppy and he’s sleeping in his kennel with the door open, in time for us to go to church in about 30 minutes. We’re going with a smile, always. But today’s is a little brighter, due to Puppy Love. 
NOTE: I originally posted this on Sunday, January 8, 2012, the day after we brought Blue home, on my husband’s Caring Bridge page. I’m posting it here today to explain where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing instead of Tumblr-ing. I’m A Dog Mom now. A Puppy Mom to be specific. We’re going for walks, playing with his rope toy AND doing the things that need done to take care of my family and household. Still figuring out how to do all that and write too…hoping to figure it out SOON. 

my mom’s spice tea recipe

My mom’s spice tea is one of my favorite tastes of fall and winter. I started my day by making a big pot of it – even though I’m the only one in my house who likes it. It’s Comfort Food for me – in liquid form. My mom made it rarely when I was growing up. I remember spice tea on Christmas morning, snow days and when she’d host her evening card group a few times a year. Sometimes I even got to take the left over to school in my thermos. When you make it, the cinnamon and cloves make the whole house smell good and everything feel all right – inside and out. Happy New Year’s Eve Day, as my father wished me in an early morning e-mail. ~ Janean

Spice Tea

2 cups sugar

2 dozen cloves (or less)

2 cups water

2 or 3 cinnamon sticks

Boil together 15 minutes

Pour 8 cups boiling water over 6 tea bags (or 2 Family Size tea bags), let stand

Add to sugar mixture when brewed

Then add: 4 Tablespoons lemon juice, 1/2 can frozen undiluted orange juice. Add 4 cups boiling water. Simmer, do no boil

Extra can be stored in the refrigerator overnight and reheated the next day. You may want to remove the cloves before storing because their flavor gets stronger if left in overnight.

My sister told me once with a wink that this recipe was supposed to be a secret, but I think it’s meant to be shared.