Blue and I saw the sunrise begin along the horizon. It was orange and gold then, as we circled ‘round the block and headed toward the park for the first time in weeks, due to cold and snow packed sidewalks. We both were missing our longer route. A few days ago he tugged that way, but I said, “No” and we took the shorter route to home. Today we ventured further once again. I was feeling ready and the dog was more than eager. “Let me at ‘em,” he said, with his nose down tracking. As we rounded the corner to the wide park path the glaze of ice was evident. Drat. Plan B was better. We walked in the grass. Diagonal even. A shortcut, “As the crow flies,” to quote an old expression. Blue looked at me with eyes that said, “Really?! You sure about this?! Fine by me, just checking.” That dog. I love him. Amber eyes that say so much. He didn’t woof, just trotted and stopped until I tugged. We made it home. Told boys, “Time to get up.” No one did immediately. Eventually they did. Before then though, a rose colored light caught my attention through the kitchen window. Oh. I opened the sliding glass door to the back deck. This. Pink clouds galore. Rose colored light. The essence of living life focusing on the Bright Side. Rose colored glasses. Except it was the whole sky casting rose light everywhere it touched. What a glorious way to begin a day. Today. I stood on the deck alone for just mere moments. Blue watched from the other side of the door, but greeted me as I walked back in to home. Good morning. I woke up hungry before 4am, but stayed in bed awhile longer. Morning whirl of dog walked, boys to school, now I can stop and breathe a second. Much better. Breakfast for me is next. Today is here. Embrace it.

January 14, 2014

I can’t make you

turquoisetangle:

I can’t make you

I wish I could

you’re bigger than me

I can’t stop you

you won’t listen

I won’t beg

do what you have to do

the door closes

I cry then

my eyes are dry now

no longer tired

I wonder

when you will come home

knowing that you will

I won’t call

you know the way

when you’re ready

come home

even though

I can’t make you

© 2011 Turquoise Tangles

That feeling when someone suddenly “Tumblr loves” something you wrote a few years ago. You reread it. Sigh deeply and cuss (just in your head). Somehow you nearly forgot. Does anyone else tag real life personal drama as, “creative writing” and hope the outer facade of reality doesn’t crack? No, me either. After tagging that way a few times my husband “called me on it” so I stopped. Stopped writing quite so honestly. Stopped tagging anything “creative writing.” Started talking about the dog, Blue, then just a puppy. A lot. Time flies. Speed varies. I’ve logged nearly 1,000 posts here at Tumblr since joining in November 2011. Poems. Photographs. Stories. Quotes. Reblogs. All tweeted too, if you’re counting. The best, most interesting, jaw dropping, heart aching, twisting, tugging, wrenching, soaring writing from the past several years has all been done behind the scenes. Just in case you’re wondering, this poem, written on a long ago night, was foreshadowing. I’m glad I was brave enough to write it and say it at the time. I still remember the fight. Faded. Fading. Letting go. We were fire and fire, fire and ice, hot and cold. Yet, we ended “just right.” We came through the fire, all pride set aside, and we loved with our walls down for the very first time.

January 6, 2014

The poem pictured is copyrighted by @Red_Sekhmet. Shared with permission granted today via Twitter on my Tumblr blog. I’m so glad Bloodmoon said yes.

I made dragon slayer art
A silver-clad knight
Shield up
Sword drawn
Facing a big red dragon
Darkness all around
Except for the knight
Light shimmers there
Illuminating
Protection
I am the knight
I wear a dragon some days
Printed on a cotton shirt
On days I know
There is a dragon near
A big red dragon
Needing slain
She is me
I’m a fireball
Sagittarius
Fire is my element
Red is my power color
I am a dragon slayer
I wear the whole armor of God
I’m speaking boldly
As I ought to speak
Ephesians 6:11-20

January 6, 2014

like a river

My words. They are pouring out of me right now. Pouring forth at all hours of the day and night. I need to channel them, like water flowing between the banks of a river, but mostly, I just have to write them.

January 3, 2014
Excerpt from an email I sent earlier this morning. Here is the email time stamp, stating date and time, “On Fri, Jan 3, 2014 at 10:07 AM.”

turquoisetangle:

poetdreamer:

bochebelaila:

Kintsugi (金継ぎ), meaning “golden joinery,” is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery using gold. It restores functionality to a broken vessel, and not only adds beauty and worth, it turns destruction and damage into the most valuable part of the piece. The scars of the past are not erased  or hidden away, to be ashamed of – they are transformed, immortalized in gold.

How many times have I felt as if I could hold no more water – like a dry cistern? How many times have I felt parched as dust from a cracked vessel? As many times as I have felt like pieces of me have been lost or torn away, and as many times as I have cried over how broken I have become. Yet, with time, patience, hard work, and the touch of a Master craftsman, I may yet be restored.

A reminder for us all. Yes, life changes us, even sometimes breaks us. But those breaks can be stronger and more beautiful if we heal them with art. Fill the breaks with poetry, paint the cracks with art. Take the time and be stronger for it.

Thank you for this. I needed to see it today.

I first reblogged this post by another in December 2012. I’m reblogging it again today, just over a year later, on January 1, 2014. I just emailed this photograph of repaired pottery with beautiful words to my sister with the subject line, “We’re glued back together with GOLD.” She needed to read it too, because of this text reply she sent to me earlier today, “Yup all the pieces are coming back together. I can see they are being glued carefully into place. So proud of you. That may seem silly but i am.” Silly only because she is my younger sister, but not silly at all. I assured her I understood completely, and added that she and I are stronger together, connected by our “all in” ginormous hearts, even though we’ve made our homes many states apart. Life goes on and so do we, wearing cowgirl boots with sass and kickass, though we have pleasing manners too. ‘Cause we’re Gary’s Girls and Patty Sunshine’s too. Damn straight. 2014 is The Year of the Horse and we’re ready to run the race, while setting our own pace.

January 1, 2014

to new beginnings

The first sunrise of 2014 was lavender and hot pink. Vivid, bright, streaks of pink, and me without my camera. Blue and I walked through the park. The only sounds his tags jingling, my cowgirl boot falls and one crow, but thankfully for just a l’il while. Shoo shoo. No cars. No joggers. Quiet, as the sky woke up with color. I didn’t look at the temperature before we set out. I looked at it just now: 17 degrees, feels like 2, and me without my scarf. Brisk, cold air and snow don’t bother me, though I’m not a fan of ice. I noticed we also have a winter storm advisory. OK. Sure. Whatever. I’m taking it as it comes, not fretting. Hello, 2014. I didn’t stay up to greet you at midnight, but I saw your first sunrise this morning, and it was as fabulous as the promise of this new year ahead. GOOD MORNING!

January 1, 2014
7:45am

it is what it is

Dear GFF BFFs,

You know who you are. 2014. It’s going to be a glitterf*ckingfabulous year, isn’t it?! Don’t answer. No jinxing. We’ll take it day by day. I need to get moving and work on better eating, make art and write “for real.” I want lots of laughing and hugging and legal hell raising fun – you in?! 🙂 I hope so! I’m all in, and all heart, like a racehorse, galloping toward it. Hello 2014, The Year of the Horse!

Have you bought your sass and kickass cowgirl boots yet?! If not, the time is here! You f’ing NEED them!

Love,
*sparkly heart kind*
Janean

December 31, 2013

Cheers

Last day of 2013 today.
It all happened.
You saw me through.
Faith, and the prayers of many.
Thankful for unconditional love of family and friends who know me best, better than I know myself.
Joy, Peace and Love are ahead.
In abundance!
Hope is the Light that doesn’t extinguish even in the darkest Dark.
Here’s to making art and writing for real in 2014.
I’m walking toward it, in cowgirl boots!
Happy New Year!
LOVE,
*sparkly heart kind*
Janean

December 31, 2013