spilled ink

March 22, 2013

right now

I’m not this strong
I’m just a human woman
all kinds o’weak
longing and wanting
for things that cannot be
magic
pixie dust
fairy tales
escape from my reality
but this is my life
it’s happening right now
where I stand
in my cowgirl boots
I wear ‘em for courage
needing every scrap
more than anyone knows
I might still wish upon a star
as artist, poet, daydreamers
are apt to do
my heart still whispers,
“Dreams do come true.”
my head replies,
“The time is now. Get busy!”
my gut jangles and tangles
tossed between head and heart
trying to find alignment
head-heart-gut
I know I have it
when my insides
are all smoothed out
I’m not this strong
just breaking time down
into manageable chunks
living life
one day at a time
that’s all I can do
right now

March 22, 2013

March 20, 2013 Image

“looks can be deceiving”
I walked through the park
with my big sweet pup
midday, as we often do
the sky is quite lovely
a gorgeous shade o’blue
the clouds are puffy white
and daydream-like
from the window
things look balmy
but that March wind
blows in great big gusts
hits you hard
and knocks you back
it’s still Lion Time in Illinois
even today
on the first day of Spring
brrrrrr
I’m downright cold
still feelin’ chilled
even back inside
within the warmth
and comfort
of home

March 20, 2013

March 18, 2013

spring o’hope

damp sidewalk
from nighttime rain
brisk chill in the air
gray sky remains
no color
and yet
the birds are singing
trilling from the trees
beautiful
joyful
hopeful
birdsong fills me up
I smile broadly
and I mean it
from deep inside
my gut
I am a hopeful woman
for there is beauty
all around
hope springs eternal
like the songs
of those springtime birds

March 18, 2013

March 13, 2013 Image

my heart longs to make art
it’s the soul balm
I am needing
layered alongside that though
is family business paperwork
waiting for me To Do
trying to balance my time
weighing heart cry vs. duty

I called the 1-800 number
the one atop this bill
seemed wise to double check
‘cause I thought I’d maybe paid it
handwritten check register read:
#9988 2/27/13 $389.90
the total due matched right up
answered the automated questions
by typing on the phone
was given a second number
for “facilities business office”
a person answered right away
gave ‘em the account number
they replied with a human voice:
“Zero Balance”
“Paid In Full”

what beautiful words those are
just like Jesus on the cross
who forgives us
over and over
BIG TIME
sinners saved by grace
a gift freely given
all we are To Do is ask

“Amazing Grace”
was played across radio waves
this very morning too
I sang along and cried
I almost always do

March 13, 2013

March 12, 2013

an Illinois observation

snow flurries dance upon the wind
bird song floats from the trees
the ground is nearly thawed
now the sun is shining
the flurries already gone
on this chilly March afternoon
must be spring in Illinois
when anything can happen
just talkin’ ‘bout the weather
it’s still Lion Time

March 12, 2013

March 11, 2013

a l’il luck

in this moment
I’m all kinds o’weepy
still wearing my fleece pajamas
with peacock adorned rain boots
(of course)
I don’t care about societal rules
pajamas smajamas, I’m not nude
just leaving the grocery store
where I bought a shamrock plant
figured I could use a l’il luck
hoping for the good kind
years ago, more than 20
my mom gave me shamrocks
for my college dorm room
that’d be four of them
‘cause a green thumb is not my gift
I’d forgotten all about ‘em
until they recently caught my eye
plant after plant
set along a deep window edge
waiting to catch sunlight
I mentioned them aloud
walking down the window lined hall
following the kind woman
one of many helping me through
she casually replied
“They are mine.”
Shamrocks
for luck
‘tis their month you know
March and all
with the fun of St. Patrick’s Day
less than a week away
soon

March 11, 2013

March 10, 2013

bird song

nighttime rain
stops
morning light
dawns
snow melts
bird song
floats along
trilling:
odes of love
warning:
dog coming
birds a plenty
perched
in tree tops
on wires narrow
flying o’er head
in v-formation
honking
the birds are back
the earth is soft
and muddy
puddles form
in the grass
on sidewalks
as snow piles
disappear
and daytime rain
begins to fall
oh, spring
you are coming
we can feel you
in the warmer air
we hear you
approaching
in the lilting
beauty
that is
bird song

March 10, 2013

March 5, 2013

someday

we say
“maybe someday”
when we share
our heart’s desires
someday feels
possible
attainable
reachable
we can see it
patiently waiting
in the future
far ahead
we plan for someday
dreaming
saving
and yet…
there are no guarantees
we wait for someday
but we only have
the fleeting moments
of today

March 5, 2013

February 28, 2013

dream time

lullaby and goodnight
starlight and moonbeam dreams
float along on Cloud 9
behind your closed eyelids
as your mind whirs a l’il less and slowly spins
smiles and sweetly whispered words sent your way like a soothing balm
may solid black zzzzz’s find you
so that when morning comes you stretch and yawn and are ready to tackle the dawn
‘cause you are sated, rested and smiling instead of growling
lullaby and goodnight
starlight and moonbeam dreams
to You
~ Me

February 27, 2013