today I am thankful for sunglasses
that shield my tired eyes
from prying ones
the tears I didn’t want to cry
fell anyway
from my weary, tired eyes
I’ve found sunglasses work best
if you can conjure up a little smile
to go with them
then no one stops to wonder
why your eyelids only open to half mast
‘cause they are fallin’ for your smile
the smile that doesn’t quite reach
your UV glass protected eyes
August 30, 2012
it’s raining today
oh, how we need it
the dirt is cracked
the grass is brown
scorched earth
and withering crops
all around
it’s raining today
oh, how we need it
souls parched
from a long journey
through the desert
without respite
or the nourishing balm
of rain
it’s raining today
oh, how we need it
for even the deepest roots
thirst in times of drought
questioning
withdrawing
lashing out
forgetting
that tangled together
they are tougher
to break apart
by even the mightiest
of storm
realizing it’s better
if they hold tight
to one another
through this long desert walk
it’s raining today
oh, how we need it
August 26, 2012
The car
I think it’s time to let her go
I/we need a safe newer vehicle that we trust outside the city limits on the highway
The air is broken and it’s been hot this summer
Power locks busted long ago and it’s not worth repair costs
Even if we fixed her and parked her until My oldest son was 15 or 16, in three more years I’d worry about her safety
And his
The air bag light is blinking
It’s time
It’s just not easy
To let her go
She’s been my car for 13 1/2 years
That’s a long damn time to drive a car
She’s been A Good One
One of the best
My fifth car since I turned sixteen
Twenty four and a half years ago
Now it’s time to figure out
What’s next?!
~ Janean
August 6, 2012
I served bacon and eggs to my family for supper tonight because we are out of most everything and I have yet to make it to the grocery store.
It’s Fair Week you know…
First it was gettin’ the projects done
Then it was gettin’ them judged
Now, finally it’s just goin’ to the fair for fun
And we’re goin’ quite often
We’ve been there four days in a row
With two more to go
And don’t you worry…
We’re goin’ those days too
Temps are in the 90’s
Middle mostly
With central Illinois humidity
And not a rain cloud in sight
That’s why I shouted from the kitchen, as I dished up eggs for supper, “I’m doing the best I can!”
For the 4-H motto is
“To Make The Best Better”
~ Janean
August 3, 2012
my turn
to break glass
I was on the phone
about the broken car
getting breakfast for my boys
reached in the cabinet
heard a crash
saw the broken shards of glass
thought the glass glass had broken
but no
it was the nice glass bowl
that was a wedding gift
15 years ago
it took me nearly that long
to figure out what to do with it
bought the coffee pot in January
put the bowl to work
holding half and half
now I’m looking for a plastic one
I can’t be trusted with glass
too delicate
and I’m feeling like that bull
the one in the china shop
August 3, 2012
9:00-ish a.m.
I first e-mailed this poem to my friend. The one who sent me a note about a glass that broke at her house while the dishwasher was being unloaded last night. She’s sharing it with her fourth grade daughter (the dishwasher unloader/glass put-er away-er too).
my sister texted me this morning
a note about her oldest son being back home in Arizona, from his two month visit home to Illinois, where he stayed and played with his grandma and papa, aunts, uncles and cousins too, over summer break
she wrote, “Kids were elated to have him home. It felt great to all be under one roof again.”
I replied:
All is well
As it should be
The missing piece of your heart puzzle back in place
I’m so glad
For all of you
Hugs and love
she replied, “That is exactly the way I felt to… Kinda off all summer and just felt complete. It was so fun watching all three kids walk inside the house together with smiles.”
then she added, “I love u so much Janean.”
making my heart squeeze and my throat close and my eyes water because Arizona feels really far away today.
August 3, 2012
sometimes plans change
and then change some more
even when you’re takin’ things
one day at a time
that’s when
you break it down further
and live hour by hour
and moment by moment
instead
August 2, 2012
the dog and I
are deck sittin’
as thunder is growlin’
lightening is flashin’
brightenin’ the sky
momentarily
on the horizon
crickets are chirpin’
singin’
rain is comin’
today for sure
hallelujah
July 26, 2012
5:12a.m.
headin’ home as a family
when from the backseat
my nine year old boy said,
“I see the moon man.”
as he gazed out the window
at the dark night sky
I asked, “Do you mean
the man in the moon?”
he confirmed,
“Mmmhmmm, him.”
then he asked
a science question
about the moon
and the tides,
“How does THAT work, anyway?”
I mumbled something
about gravity
and lookin’ it up
later
and went back to grinnin’
about seein’
the moon man
as I gazed out my window
too
July 25, 2012
Dear Queen Anne,
I love your lace.
I always have.
Since childhood.
When I’d tuck a stem behind my ear and the delicate blooms would tickle my face.
I picked a dozen and wove the long stems into a crown, oblivious to the minute white petals in my hair long after the crown was gone.
I chose the prettiest blooms and presented them to my grandma in a great big bunch.
Flowers, flowers everywhere in her multilayered gardens, but the only one I was allowed to pick was your lace, Queen Anne.
Time passes.
That young girl, once so carefree, grew into a woman with a family of her own.
But I’m still me.
In the light of early morning, walking my sweet pup on a new path, I spied a familiar flower.
For I never could call it a weed, with a name as lovely as, “Queen Anne’s Lace.”
Hello my friend.
Thank you for waking up my memories, of those childhood days long gone.
My grandma is gone now too.
Smiling down from heaven as I snapped off a single bloom and kept on walking.
Heading home.
Puppy slowing down, pulling less, heeling more.
I know full well it’s against the rules to pick flowers in a public park, as they are there for everyone to enjoy.
I rationalized no one would miss one weed…
Even though in my heart I didn’t think it so.
Thank you for the beautiful, pure white, intricate blooms of your lace, Queen Anne.
I’ll be walking that way again and a flower may or may not follow me home again…
(Depending a bit on who is reading.)
Love,
Janean
July 21, 2012
Turquoise Tangles 