hope

Hope is the first bud on the Peace rosebush on a rainy spring day. ~ Janean

I walked past this hammock for sale at the store today and flashed back to my childhood summers. On the most special of days my dad would tie the big white hammock between two skinny walnut trees. We’d take turns climbing in to sway gently from side to side. How I wanted to buy a hammock today to recapture the peace and ease of those long ago summer days. I resisted though. No where to store it. No good place in the yard to serenely sway either. Street sounds. Lawnmowers. Basketballs hitting pavement in pre shot dribbling. Dogs barking (not just mine). I’ve landed a hundred miles from the deep, sloped, tree filled backyard at the end of a dead end street behind the little yellow house that I called Home for my first twenty one years. I grew up in a town of 20,000 surrounded by factories, farmland, and highways to anywhere but here. Now I think to myself, “Those were the days.” These were my fleeting thoughts this morning, as I pushed my shopping cart past the hammocks toward the aisles that held stuff actually on my list. The only other thing I wondered was whether my parents, my dad specifically, would like a hammock once again to enjoy on summer afternoons from his screened in porch that overlooks the Mississippi River. You can be sure I’m going to ask him and hope the answer is, “Yes.” My ulterior motives are quite transparent…I want a turn too. ~ Janean
Sometimes we love with nothing more than hope. Sometimes we cry with everything except tears.
Gregory David Roberts (Shantaram)
as morning comes

my sweet husband surprised me with flowers today
for no reason other than, “We haven’t had any flowers for awhile.”
our oldest son helped pick them out
making them even more special
they are in water now
dressing up the edge of the kitchen sink
which is empty of dirty dishes I’ll have you know
it’s been a nice day here
a good day
a family day
filled with a whole lot of normal
we needed that
this was a no chemo week
the calm before the storm
of nausea,
weakness,
fatigue,
and cold sensitivity
hardest on the flower buying man who endures it
not easy for the rest of us either
we hurt when he hurts
we want to make it better
we all just have to go through it though
to get to the other side
the side with no more cancer
for that is the hope
to get it all
for the cancer to never return
for him to be cured
that day will come
I am sure of it
until then we’re living and loving
one day at a time
and today is extra special
because he bought me flowers
and yes, I’m still smiling
puppy love

Sometimes Hope comes wrapped in tan and black fur, with floppy ears, a big lolling tongue, a long wagging tail and the name, Blue.
Today is a mystery
Today is a mystery
sort of wide open
with things that need done
not sure I want to do any of them
so I will do some
one appointment I won’t miss
and no, it’s not the dentist
I hope it’s filled
with family and friends
with laughter,
smiles, hugs and grins
the tears need to stay at bay
I don’t have time
for you today
so far
so good
© 2011 Turquoise Tangles
Christmas is comin’
as night falls
my heart hurts
I have a lump in my throat
and it was a good day
it was
I’m just having a hard time
with Christmas this year
and I love Christmas
the decorations
the music
the presents
the giving
more than getting
the fun of it
the joy
the laughter
this year I’m just not there yet
hope it kicks in soon
it’s not about Santa for me
it’s about the birth of Jesus
I’ll focus on that
and hope
for the peace of Him
to lift the burden
from my heart
© 2011 Turquoise Tangles