husband

July 16, 2012

must be Monday

I kissed my husband, as I headed out the door with the barking to go out dog…again.
And said, “Have a good day” and added, “I promise not to be a b*tch.”
As if it being 4-H crunch time weren’t enough of a reason for that promise, there are more…
The Cat, needs to see the vet unexpectedly for an open wound we saw for the first time at bedtime last night. Poor Miss Snuggles. Hoping it’s not too serious (or expensive).
That Dog, is into EVERYTHING this morning:
First, Blue ate most of a toy air rocket made of nerf-like material.
Then he smashed my daylilies to smithereens because he thinks they feel good to lie on while rocket chewing.
Next thing I knew, Blue pulled the downspout extender out from under the deck stairs and drug it into the yard in order to recover one of his tennis balls that have been missing for awhile.
Topped off by Blue ducking underneath the grill cover, that is drying out across the top of two patio chairs, because he thinks it makes a cool Dog Fort. I only wish he was grinning with his tongue lolling out in the photo I managed to snap before shooing him out from under there.
Somewhere in the midst of all that, which took place over two hours time, I made coffee, ate breakfast, sent a few emails and unloaded the dishwasher.
Oh, and did I mention the family gathering at our house this evening at 6:30?!
It’ll be a nice time.
I’m sure of it.
Thanks for listening.
Sometimes just being able to vent a bit, can take the edge off my surly self.
Hugs help too.
Always.
So do hot showers and naps.
Blue is napping now.
Can I join him?
Not yet.
Grrrrrrrrr

July 16, 2012

July 12, 2012

The 4-H Report

Entomology is all the way done. He did the activity in his project book yesterday and the insects are arranged in the cases.

We made the stingray pattern for non-clothing fleece yesterday – it’s a visual art class, not a sewing one. I’m making the first stingray to test the pattern and see how the (forgive me) damn thing goes together.

His Write A Book is special AND it’s a surprise. Getting closer…

Fudge we won’t make until the day before judging.

That’s four…
(or somewhere around the 20,000,000 mark)

Electricity is “in the works”. I have a shopping list from my father for my oldest son’s electricity project. My son and I will be sure to go together to buy those items before his Papa is back in town to build it.

A new international project one of his aunts is helping with. They brainstormed at the last fair to do the Philippines together this year. That’s where she’s from. It seemed like a good idea at the time…

Photography isn’t “hard”. I got the project book out yesterday to look over…just gotta do it!

Balsa airplanes is a bear. They are working on it…my amazingly patient husband and equally diligent sons. Both my boys are taking this one which means there is not just one, but two delicate balsa wood airplanes under construction in our basement. Did I mention projects are due the night before the fair on July 31?!

Rockets may be the one that’s dropped this year. We shall see. Eleven just feels like (at least) one too many.

Plastic models is close to being done…this one they started early, father and son, surely they will finish it soon. Maybe while the glue is drying on that mega balsa plane…

LEGOs is built. He just has a 3” x 5” card to do.

Gettin’ there…that’s all eleven, or 50,000,000 if you ask me. It’s 4-H countdown time. It’s 4-H project crunch time. Fourth year with my oldest and the first for my youngest (who wisely chose five projects which are practically all complete). This too shall pass.

~ Janean
(I was a ten year 4-H’er from age eight to seventeen, so it sort of runs in the family.)

June 7, 2012

again

doc had some news
yesterday
a little good
nothing in the lung
praise be
a lot not easy to hear
metabolic in the liver
again
perhaps surgery
again
maybe more chemo
maybe wait and see
next step
specialist in Chicago
again
not the news we wanted
just seven months
since first liver surgery
when doc thought
they got it all
but thankful
he’s still here
with us
tougher
than he knows
the former Marine
police officer
I married
15 years ago

June 7, 2012

June 6, 2012 Image

up since 5:00
one cup o’coffee down
a bowl of cereal too
almost 6:30 now
as I laugh and throw the ball for Blue
his appointment is at 8:30
that wonderful husband of mine
for 15 years and counting
20 years together in July
friends before that
today we find out
if the chemo has worked
or if the cancer has spread
yet here I am
playing with the dog
his dog
the one he’s always wanted
trying to keep the worries and fear at bay
until we know what the doctor has to say
other than THAT
it’s a beautiful morning
crisp early a.m. air
birdsong from the treetops
not much traffic noise
less than two hours to go
and then we’ll know
what’s next

June 6, 2012

May 23, 2012 Image

he bought me daisies last night
the colorful kind
minus the crazy
such a surprise to see them
in the flower spot
by the kitchen sink
when the children and I
came home last night
my smile widened
at the vase he chose
for it was the easiest
to reach
my margarita pitcher
a college graduation gift
from my aunt in New Mexico
my margarita days are past
what a lovely vase
I didn’t know I had
until he bought me daisies
last night

April 16, 2012

on the edge

on the edge of emotion
tamping back tears all day
no reason for it
I consider giving in
and letting the tears fall
but I already did my makeup
so I shove ‘em down again
they might be happy tears
for my oldest son’s 12th birthday
or relieved tears
for my father’s safe travel
or exhausted tears
from two weeks
of my own health battle
or apprehensive
it’s a chemo week tears
for my husband
most likely it’s just regular
I’m a girl and cry sometimes tears
even though it makes me mad to feel this way
and I don’t want to be a cliche
there you have it
tamping back tears all day
on the edge of emotion