Janean

September 21, 2012 Image

I’m enjoying the pouring rain
as the clouds let loose
and water pours from heaven

today has had a bit of everything
gray sky moody broody
blue sky with wisps of white clouds
sun shining
sun hiding
sunglasses on
sunglasses atop my head
sunglasses tossed aside
for the rain is pouring down

my mood has varied like the weather
not always neatly aligned
tears while sun was shining
laughter in the rain
today has had a bit of everything
my heart aches
my chest is tight
it’s just one of those days
I’m enjoying the pouring rain

September 21, 2012

September 14, 2012 Image

today is a day for favorite jeans
faded, creased and fraying
soft and pliable
curve hugging, not binding
way past “stylish”
not dark enough
not boot cut enough
not “skinny” enough
just right for me
comfort
the denim wrapped kind
with cowgirl boots for courage
countin’ down the hours and minutes
to my husband’s appointment time
soon we’ll know the answer to the question,
“What’s next?”

September 14, 2012

September 2, 2012

a mother’s intuition

I saw my mom today
she said, “You look tired.”
I nodded my head for yes and said, “mmm”
‘cause I am
I didn’t trust myself to say more
She tried to draw me out by asking, “Early morning?”
I answered, “Yes” aloud
and resisting adding, “Aren’t they all?!”
She wanted to ask more
but we weren’t alone
my husband’s family was there
standin’ in the driveway
Blue dog on a leash
eating’ grass
oblivious to emotion
happy to be in the front yard
while family visited
all around
I’m weary today
on the inside
and weepy
which shows
on the outside
especially in my tired eyes
mom’s just know
when their babies are hurting
even when their “baby” is forty
with babies of her own
some days are harder than others
this one has had too many tears
I’m hoping that means
I’ve cried tomorrow’s already
‘cause my mom
will be askin’ me how I am again
quite soon
until then
her intuition is workin’ overtime

September 2, 2012

August 30, 2012

cat + dog = lavender

That cat is at it again
I swear she is the one that’s going to push me right over the edge
You know
The edge between sorta sane and completely off your rocker
I’ve been balance beaming along it for months now
She’s still mad about the dog
That sweet pup we brought home eight months ago
My goodness can she hold a grudge
She’s tried everything she can think of to express her displeasure
She’s growled, hissed, and scratched his cold, black, puppy nose with her menacing front claws
She tried a starvation diet too
I thwarted that one by opening a can of soft food that was too tantalizing for her to resist
She’s “gone” on the dirty laundry
…and more recently the bedroom floor
I don’t have time to deal with her antics and clean up her messes
But clean I do
Washing machine set on “sanitize” to neutralize that awful smell
Today I tried a new one
‘Cause I’m barely holding on
I mixed a potion of pleasing scent to spray upon the clean again bedroom carpet
The side of the box said 4 oz. water and 18 drops of lavender oil
I think I counted 21
Hope it deters her
Hope it gets her back in her box for “business”
After the potion mixing was done
I squeezed one more drop onto my index finger
And dabbed a drop of lavender oil behind my ears
It was chemo unhook day
That one’s tougher than tough
When the completed infusion hits hardest
I hugged my husband goodbye
Before carline at school
He said, “Mmmmmm, you smell nice.”
I smiled and replied, “It’s lavender.”
Drat that cat
Do I have to give her the credit?!
~ Janean

August 30, 2012

August 30, 2012 Image

today I am thankful for sunglasses
that shield my tired eyes
from prying ones
the tears I didn’t want to cry
fell anyway
from my weary, tired eyes
I’ve found sunglasses work best
if you can conjure up a little smile
to go with them
then no one stops to wonder
why your eyelids only open to half mast
‘cause they are fallin’ for your smile
the smile that doesn’t quite reach
your UV glass protected eyes

August 30, 2012

August 28, 2012

I want this…

dreams2create:

 ”I’m creating. Even with one thing after another coming at me. Yesterday was a doozy but I didn’t let it stop me. I kept creating.” ~Janean Baird

Imagine my surprise to find myself quoted by a friend. It’s happened a few times now, each time it makes me grin and feel a little more like a “real” writer. I’m not sure when I’ll lose the quote marks. For I’m still getting used to saying aloud, “I am an artist and a writer.” I am, you know. Both. ~ Janean

August 28, 2012

August 28, 2012

the one I know

This morning, as Blue and I stepped onto the backyard deck, into the brisk 4:30am air, my breath caught at the brightness of the morning stars against the dark of night. An oft repeated Van Gogh quote came to mind, “…the sight of stars makes me dream.” Yes. Me too. Then, my still sleepy eyes looked up, opened a little wider, and I said aloud, “Orion’s back.” The Hunter. The one constellation I know. It’s those three diagonal stars that glisten from his belt. I’d know them anywhere. Even shining low in the eastern sky, surprising me on an early August morning. ~ Janean

August 28, 2012

August 26, 2012

Little Red and Blue

This morning, as I walked my big dog, Blue around the block, I thought to myself, “If I were wearing a red jacket with a hood right now, it’d look to passersby like Little Red Riding Hood walkin’ The Big Bad Wolf.” My grin was quick and no laugh escaped to be carried on the wind. Besides, looks can be deceiving…though I do own a red hooded rain coat. ~ Janean

August 25, 2012