barefoot in boots
this morning
grabbed ‘em fast
cowgirl kind
my pair for courage
I’ve worn ‘em
for the past two years
dog’s been gnawing
on my snow boots
snow is melting
rain is falling today
leather cowgirl boots
were fine for driving
both my boys to school
my newest pair o’boots
are sporting zebra stripes
they are made of plastic
perfect for puddles
and walking in the rain
it’ll be rain boots
for the rest of today

December 20, 2013

Life whirl

Life whirls by fast, like a marvelous dance.
Then the music stops and you’re dancing alone.

Some couples twirl for many decades.
They marry in their 20’s.
Their family grows with the arrival of babies.
Those babies grow to school age, then graduate from college.
Suddenly your babies have babies of their own.
Decades have flown.
The couple still holds hands and smiles.
They still stand and sway when music plays.
Inside they feel the same.
Outside their hair is silver.
They move a l’il slow, but get there.

Other couples have the music stop abruptly.
It’s the last thing they expect.
They spent a l’il over two decades together.
That’s all ‘twas meant to be.
She sat in the cemetery between their children,
as his body was laid to rest.
They won’t be dancing at their children’s weddings.
He’ll be watching from Heaven instead.

Life whirls by fast, like a marvelous dance.
Then the music stops and you’re dancing alone.
Life still whirls by at a breakneck pace.
Yet, your pace is set on savor.
Home feels good, like a cozy cocoon.
You venture out when necessary.
You pause and marvel at the sunrise.
You lift your face to feel the noonday sun.
You watch the moon wax then wane, and feel a tug.
Days pass.
Nights too.
Family and friends cross your doorstep.
Giving and receiving hugs for hello and goodbye.
Laughter returns, as joy bubbles from within.
Life whirls on.
Dance.
Set your own pace.

I do.
In the kitchen.
Alone.

December 19, 2013
I wish I could tag this “creative writing,” but it is a true story. Mine. After a two year and three month cancer fight, my husband died in August of this year. He had just turned 43. I was still 41. Now I’m 42. We were together over 21 years, counting from our first date. Together nearly half my life, married for 16. I didn’t want to write this poem, but when the words are there you learn to honor them and let them flow. Even when they make you cry crocodile tears that fall as you do. Perhaps this is why my dog was awake extra early today. Coffee and breakfast are next for me while my boys sleep a l’il longer and I can soak up the quiet of the house before chaos and commotion reign again. Zany. Crazy. Wild. Ornery. Rambunctious. Loud. LIFE! It is for living. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of today.
Love,
Janean

P.S. Nearly included this line, “Not quite four months ago, and it’s still hard to believe.” Adding it here as a footnote for now, to mull over later. It’s time to make that coffee, turn on music with the volume low, sing along and sway.

Press On

Fear has held me back a lot
It still does
It takes so much inner fortitude to press through that wall of fear
So much
Fear can be paralyzing
It is a hurdle to go over, around, under or through
Another metaphor is a mountain
Then it’s time for a mountain moving prayer
Faith as small as a mustard seed can move a mountain (Matthew 17:20)
God’s Word tells us quite frequently to, “Fear Not”
This is yet another of the many lessons I’m in the midst of learning
Holding on to God’s promises and telling the Devil to “Be Gone”
Easier said than done
That’s why we have community and prayer
Always
Prayer

November 10, 2013

tick tock chirp

I’m sitting still, in the dark, quiet of morning, before the sun lights up the dawn, listening to the most melodious of birdsong.
Quite lovely.
Blue dog is sleeping at my feet.
Two sweet boys are still asleep in bed.
Will move in a moment to get the coffee on.
For now, I’m a bit hypnotized by the sound of the family room clock tick tocking, intermixed with an upbeat chirping song from the other side of outer wall.

April 7, 2013

sustenance

My hair is a rats next of tangles from that wicked wind.
I’m am so wrung out and weary I’m leaning against the wall as I stand and type.
Will take more Tylenol next, find something hot and filling for supper, and look forward to the soothing water of a hot bath later tonight.
Much later.
Sometime after the dog is walked for the last time and both boys are tucked into their beds.
Later.
Hopefully within the next three hours.
Hope.
A sustaining emotion.
The ultimate Soul Food.

April 6, 2013

Good Friday

The morning sky was melancholy today.
Quiet and contemplative.
Lots of layers to the clouds.
White and gray interspersed.
Then, the clouds parted and a l’il blue sky peeked through.
Good Friday is a moody melancholy day.
The Crucifixion.
But the promise of Good Friday is, “Sunday’s a comin’!”
On Sunday we celebrate and shout, HE IS RISEN!
So it’s only fitting, for Heaven to be a bit subdued with extra clouds in shades of gray, for even though we call it Good Friday, it is a melancholy day.

March 29, 2013
Good Friday

up and at ‘em
feet on the floor
children still sleepin’
dog and I
out the door

it’s half past six
there is a cold snap
in the air
we walk upon
the sidewalk
snow packed
here and there

we turn a corner
toward the park
the dog and I
on our favorite walk
there is pink mist
thick on the horizon
in front of us
on either side
me without my camera

then I look behind us
the dog wonders,
“Why did she stop?”
the sun was rising
fiery red shown
from behind the clouds
blending to pink
golden too somehow
spectacular
amazin’
so movin’
I said aloud,
“Thank you, God
Today is Yours.”

He is the Creator
The Greatest Artist
His palette holds
every color
His canvas is the sky
He created everything
even that dog
and me

March 27, 2013

a l’il bird song

The birds still serenaded the dog and I, even in the snow covered, early morn. I wish I spoke a l’il bird. I can only imagine the lyrics to their song. If I were a bird I’d croon…

What happened to yesterday?
Where did my blue skies go?
Spring was nearly springing
The earth was thawing
I woke up early to get my worm

Today the sky is cloudy
Things are murky overhead
This snow is unexpected
What the hell is coming next?

Here I perch upon the branches
Of the dormant, naked trees
Looking down toward the ground
What’s with this dumb ol’ white stuff?
It’s officially Spring
The robins are back in town!

It’s hard to not look back
I want to cry aloud
What happened to yesterday?
Where did my blue skies go?

Yet I know better than to ask
What the hell is coming next?
‘Cause it might be worse
Than just a l’il snow
There are much worse things
In Mother Nature’s bag o’tricks
People can wreak havoc too
Man made destruction
Is often the very worst
Yet even then
Nature can heal

Today I sit up in the treetops
Gray sky above
Snow covered ground below
I choose to lift my voice up
Toward Heaven
And ask not
What happened to yesterday?
Where did my blue skies go?
Instead I sing out clearly
Today is a new day
Celebrate
Rejoice
Savor the Gift O’Life
Hooray
I am still alive

Best of all
I’m not singing alone
Us birds
We flock together
In good times and bad
We share our bounty
We share our warmth
We share our l’il bird song
With you

May you enjoy today
savor life in this moment
Whatever it may bring
Tomorrow isn’t here yet
Blue skies will return
So will the sun
Though it may not bring warmth
There is still that gusting wind
The seasons are a changin’
Saying aloud
Time marches on

March 24, 2013

springtime sunrise

mornin’ arrived today
right on time
no more sleep for me
uncrated that dog
you know
that big sweet pup
the one I love,
my Blue
clipped on his leash
in a vivid hue
of the color
he is named for
we step outdoors
he sort of catapults
(well, dog-a-pults)
from the front door
chilly March temps
continue to linger
and yet,
the magical beauty
of birdsong
robins are hoppin’
along the thawin’ ground
atop the grass
that may be greener
or else I’m imaginin’
just tryin’
to will Spring along
steadily the sun rises
from behind a bank
of glowin’ clouds
mornin’ arrived today
right on time
I was outdoors
feet on the ground
ready to greet
this new day
me and my dog,
Blue

March 23, 2013