thankful

January 25, 2013 Image

I love the rain
Spring rains will come soon
thunderstorms and gentle mists
I welcome both

I love walking in the woods
and on a gravel road
lined with trees on either side

I love resting
whether on a proper bench
or plopping on the ground

I love the river
especially Grandpa’s river
the mighty Mississippi
standing atop his bluff
looking o’er her curving path
there I can breathe

I love to smile
and often do
a gentle curve of lips
or crooked at the corner
a flash of teeth and quick laugh
full wattage mega kind too
the best ones reach my eyes

I love the rain
I walk my dog without an umbrella
wearing rain boots with peacocks
splashing through puddles
with a grin
laughing at my prancing pup

I am not dead. I am here. Thank you, God, for these simple things and the ability to find joy in quiet moments such as these. Thank you for family and friends, and the powerful prayers of Your people who are lifting up my cancer fighting husband and me and our boys asking for the strength and courage we need to weather this vicious storm. We are thankful, humbled and oh, so very blessed. Hope bubbles fresh anew each day. Your love will see us through. ~Janean

January 25, 2013

Photograph taken on January 16, 2013, standing atop my Grandpa’s bluff, overlooking his river, my Heart Home, that place where I can breathe.

January 25, 2013 Link

Here Lies the Remains of a Girl Who–Did What Now?: Put yourself back together.

autumndragonfly:

  • Sit quietly in a storm without an umbrella, without a word of complaint. Let the rain wash away every ounce of bitterness that has been used to write a eulogy on your skin.
  • You’re not dead.
  • Remember.
  • Drive down to the river. Drive down to where the industrial waste has not re-colored the…

I love the rain
Spring rains will come soon
Thunderstorms and gentle mists
I welcome both

I love walking in the woods
and on a gravel road
lined with trees on either side

I love resting
whether on a proper bench
or plopping on the ground

I love the river
especially Grandpa’s river
the mighty Mississippi
standing atop his bluff
looking o’er her curving path
there I can breathe

I love to smile
and often do
a gentle curve of lips
or crooked at the corner
a flash of teeth and quick laugh
full wattage mega kind too
the best ones reach my eyes

I love the rain
I walk my dog without an umbrella
wearing rain boots with peacocks
splashing through puddles
with a grin
laughing at my prancing pup

I am not dead. I am here. Thank you, God, for these simple things and the ability to find joy in quiet moments such as these. Thank you for family and friends, and the powerful prayers of Your people who are lifting up my cancer fighting husband and me and our boys asking for the strength and courage we need to weather this vicious storm. We are thankful, humbled and oh, so very blessed. Hope bubbles fresh anew each day. Your love will see us through. ~Janean

January 25, 2013

Here Lies the Remains of a Girl Who–Did What Now?: Put yourself back together.

January 23, 2013 Image

I grabbed my hotel breakfast To Go, so I didn’t miss the 7:30 a.m. shuttle I scheduled last night: oatmeal with brown sugar and sliced almonds (thankful for a plastic lid), a banana, one blueberry muffin wrapped up in a napkin (just the way my Grandma taught me long ago) all of which I shoved into my shoulder bag. Then I got a cuppa coffee and waited not too long. Coffee was gone as I was delivered, to the hospital front doors, so I bought a bigger cup and rode the elevator up. Eating now…started with half my blueberry muffin. Might get the other half, or might share…depends on how filled up that hungry man gets when he finishes The Grand Slam breakfast the hospital staff just delivered. Good morning from Loyola!

January 23, 2013
Loyola hospital
near Chicago

November 25, 2012

heart ache

my woman’s heart is breakin’
daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend
life’s been tough for awhile now
doin’ the best I can
cryin’ too many tears
day by day abidin’
movin’ ever forward
walkin’ step by step
thankful for the gift
of each day
we have together
holdin’ it all together
with bailin’ twine and prayers

November 25, 2012

October 24, 2012 Image

I sat down poolside with coffee only, just as a hint of drizzle turned to gentle rain at 6:20a.m. Thankful for that big red umbrella and time spent sitting in the dark outside. (It was quiet until that lady sat down with her cell phone…that she’s actually talking on and not typing on like me.)
Since then I’ve moved tables. Tweeted. E-mailed. Facebooked. Have refilled my mug o’ coffee too.
Nearly moved again after loud talking cell phone user number two. Instead I couldn’t help but overhear as she said, “You can’t run away from yourself because you can’t get away from your own ass.” Well, tis true.
The sky has brightened. I should go and check on my family, and find out if they are waking up anytime soon. No hurry. That’s the beauty of vacation. The gray clouds are moving. Blue sky is tryin’ to peek through. Not sure where the day is going to take us. The To Do List just reads, “Have Fun.” Gotta love Vacation Days. Reality can wait a few days more. It’s 8:09a.m. now. Livin’ on Eastern time rather agrees with me.
~ Janean

October 24, 2012

October 13, 2012

powers of deduction

Our doorbell rings.
(sitting on couch) My youngest son says, “Who is it?”
(standing behind couch) I reply, “I don’t know. I don’t have x-ray vision.”
I could of guessed right though. I walked down the not too long hallway to answer the front door. It’s a neighbor boy, the 6th grade one, wondering if my boys can play. Yes. Yes, they can. Come on in and join the fun. Just leave your shoes on. Go quickly. I have ahold of Blue. Next thing I knew they were switching houses, from ours to his. My house is quiet, for just a little bit. For this I am admittedly thankful. Saturday just keeps getting better. ~ Janean

P.S. I spoke too soon. Let the wild woofing commence. Blue’s at his backyard facing window, and this is how he says, “SQUIRREL!!!!” *sigh* Quiet was nice while it lasted. All 2.3 seconds of it.

October 13, 2012

September 13, 2012 Image

I have turquoise toes
adorned with sparkly flowers
a gift from my mother
pedicures for the three of us
my mom, my sister and I
Girl Time
The Best Kind
with smiles, laughter filled conversation and love all around
the pampering was nice too
mmmmmm, needed that
more than I knew
I don’t recognize these feet as mine
for my toe nails were naked all summer
no time to paint ‘em
let alone time to be still
and have them done
a mother’s love
a woman who knows her daughters better than we know ourselves
so thankful for them both
my mother and my sister
both big pieces
of my heart

September 13, 2012

August 30, 2012 Image

today I am thankful for sunglasses
that shield my tired eyes
from prying ones
the tears I didn’t want to cry
fell anyway
from my weary, tired eyes
I’ve found sunglasses work best
if you can conjure up a little smile
to go with them
then no one stops to wonder
why your eyelids only open to half mast
‘cause they are fallin’ for your smile
the smile that doesn’t quite reach
your UV glass protected eyes

August 30, 2012

August 26, 2012

Kings, Queens, Cats and Monkeys

Last night the littlest boy fell asleep in the biggest bed. The one worthy of a king. His parents let him sleep. They’d had enough of elbows in the nose at night from that (not so) little monkey in the middle. In a new move they tiptoed down the hall to his room and tucked into their old bed. The one sized for a queen. The two of them slept soundly there beneath a camouflage comforter, well guarded by a tank stuck upon the wall. That cat curled up down by their feet and settled in for the night. She didn’t ask any questions, quite used to the musical beds game and nighttime wanderings at her house. Everyone slept soundly without bad dreams or waking up too early. The littlest boy is still sleeping. His parents have already been up for hours, thankful for a good night’s sleep all around.

August 26, 2012