today I am thankful
for volunteer sunflowers
and the first colorful bloom
amidst the varying shades of green
in my former garden
gone to weed this year
for if it weren’t for these marvelous sunflowers
offering the first bloom of summer
like a gift
to soothe my aching heart
it’d just be a jumble of weeds
forevermore
July 14, 2012
tonight
the moon is full
with a pale orange tint
the nighttime air is cooler
less thick
without humidity
to be expected
on a midwestern day
in July
tonight
the breeze blows gently
yet persistently
I wish
for a screened in porch
a sleepin’ porch
like summers growin’ up
at Grandma and Grandpa’s
tonight
I see a flash a light
hear the leaves rustle
and feel a storm
gathering power
we need the rain
but it’s more than that
for a storm’s been brewing
and it’s time
to let it all go
tonight
July 2, 2012
looking back
because that’s what we do
there are times
we could have zagged
instead of zigged
visa versa too
we can’t go back
there are no do overs
I’m just glad
I’ve spent these years
with you
looking forward
we have more questions
than answers
and when we get them
we may wish
we didn’t know
so let’s zig more
and zag less
and remember
to laugh and love and live
for as long as we have left
together
could be you’re stuck with me
for many years yet
so I can baffle and perplex you
with more poems
about zigging and zagging
June 18, 2012
I awoke to a “WOOF” at 4:20 a.m.
just as well since I was dreaming of pot roast
that’s a new one
diet induced dreaming
out we went
the sweet pup and I
in again for his breakfast
and mine
pot roast dreams long gone
filled instead with healthy cereal
sorta sated anyway
another “WOOF”
well, bowls are portable
out we go once more
this is my first birdsong breakfast
eaten in the open air
perched on the edge of the deck
by the stairs
the sky is moonlight blue
with a not quite half
not quite crescent moon
still hanging in the sky
the horizon begins to glow
in warm shades of gold
as the dog and I go in
once more
it’s time for coffee
June 12, 2012
it’s now 5:00 a.m.
doc had some news
yesterday
a little good
nothing in the lung
praise be
a lot not easy to hear
metabolic in the liver
again
perhaps surgery
again
maybe more chemo
maybe wait and see
next step
specialist in Chicago
again
not the news we wanted
just seven months
since first liver surgery
when doc thought
they got it all
but thankful
he’s still here
with us
tougher
than he knows
the former Marine
police officer
I married
15 years ago
June 7, 2012
up since 5:00
one cup o’coffee down
a bowl of cereal too
almost 6:30 now
as I laugh and throw the ball for Blue
his appointment is at 8:30
that wonderful husband of mine
for 15 years and counting
20 years together in July
friends before that
today we find out
if the chemo has worked
or if the cancer has spread
yet here I am
playing with the dog
his dog
the one he’s always wanted
trying to keep the worries and fear at bay
until we know what the doctor has to say
other than THAT
it’s a beautiful morning
crisp early a.m. air
birdsong from the treetops
not much traffic noise
less than two hours to go
and then we’ll know
what’s next
June 6, 2012
there is a crow
I just now spied
heckling the dog and I
with cawing
that never ends
I much prefer
early morning silence
other than the jingling
from my pup’s collar
caw caw caw
on a repetitive loop
I didn’t
get out of bed
for this
woof
awoke me
from a bizarre dream
in full color
a jumble of images
and me
in a place
I didn’t want to be
awake is better
even if it’s early
even if the crow
needs to stop
and fly away now
my eyes gritty
from tears cried
yesterday
ahhhhhhh
some actual birdsong
bye bye Mr. Crow
I didn’t even
resort to violence
though I considered
my options
he must have realized
not to mess with me
as I have no patience
for cawing
that never ends
May 28, 2012
written somewhere in the 5 o’clock a.m. hour
damn crow
I find it fascinating that the sky can be bright blue with puffy clouds behind me, and pale blue with wisps of clouds, including some gray ones ahead. I’m facing East toward the sunrise. My sweet pup was up at 4:30 a.m. I wanted the rest if my family to sleep a little longer. We’ve been enjoying a variety of birdsong in the backyard. It’s 6:00 a.m. now. Blue’s had his breakfast. I’m ready for mine. Coffee is a necessity today. May 25, 2012 is the first day of Summer Vacation, my niece’s second birthday and one year to the day since my husband’s diagnosis. The day life changed. ~ Janean
he bought me daisies last night
the colorful kind
minus the crazy
such a surprise to see them
in the flower spot
by the kitchen sink
when the children and I
came home last night
my smile widened
at the vase he chose
for it was the easiest
to reach
my margarita pitcher
a college graduation gift
from my aunt in New Mexico
my margarita days are past
what a lovely vase
I didn’t know I had
until he bought me daisies
last night
last night was for fireflies
the first ones of the year
this mornin’ is for pink clouds
and a crescent moon
still hangin’ in the sky
fireflies remind me
of my childhood summers
pink clouds are for my grandma
she painted some on canvas
and the teacher said,
“There is no such thing.”
Grandma wouldn’t budge
knew she was right
as she’d seen pink clouds
from atop the bluff
time and time again
so while I’m not a pink girl
I love pink cloud mornings
and greet them with a grin
as memories of my grandma
fill me up within
Turquoise Tangles 