carefully

I’m trying to be still and know that He is God, from the Psalms.
I am trying to Trust and Fear Not.
It is hard.
Faith is believing in things that cannot be seen.
Love is the biggest of all.
I am a Hope Full woman.
I’m also held together really carefully on the inside right now.
Love,
Janean

written Monday, March 18, 2013

spring o’hope

damp sidewalk
from nighttime rain
brisk chill in the air
gray sky remains
no color
and yet
the birds are singing
trilling from the trees
beautiful
joyful
hopeful
birdsong fills me up
I smile broadly
and I mean it
from deep inside
my gut
I am a hopeful woman
for there is beauty
all around
hope springs eternal
like the songs
of those springtime birds

March 18, 2013

I love the rain
Spring rains will come soon
thunderstorms and gentle mists
I welcome both

I love walking in the woods
and on a gravel road
lined with trees on either side

I love resting
whether on a proper bench
or plopping on the ground

I love the river
especially Grandpa’s river
the mighty Mississippi
standing atop his bluff
looking o’er her curving path
there I can breathe

I love to smile
and often do
a gentle curve of lips
or crooked at the corner
a flash of teeth and quick laugh
full wattage mega kind too
the best ones reach my eyes

I love the rain
I walk my dog without an umbrella
wearing rain boots with peacocks
splashing through puddles
with a grin
laughing at my prancing pup

I am not dead. I am here. Thank you, God, for these simple things and the ability to find joy in quiet moments such as these. Thank you for family and friends, and the powerful prayers of Your people who are lifting up my cancer fighting husband and me and our boys asking for the strength and courage we need to weather this vicious storm. We are thankful, humbled and oh, so very blessed. Hope bubbles fresh anew each day. Your love will see us through. ~Janean

January 25, 2013

Photograph taken on January 16, 2013, standing atop my Grandpa’s bluff, overlooking his river, my Heart Home, that place where I can breathe.

Here Lies the Remains of a Girl Who–Did What Now?: Put yourself back together.

autumndragonfly:

  • Sit quietly in a storm without an umbrella, without a word of complaint. Let the rain wash away every ounce of bitterness that has been used to write a eulogy on your skin.
  • You’re not dead.
  • Remember.
  • Drive down to the river. Drive down to where the industrial waste has not re-colored the…

I love the rain
Spring rains will come soon
Thunderstorms and gentle mists
I welcome both

I love walking in the woods
and on a gravel road
lined with trees on either side

I love resting
whether on a proper bench
or plopping on the ground

I love the river
especially Grandpa’s river
the mighty Mississippi
standing atop his bluff
looking o’er her curving path
there I can breathe

I love to smile
and often do
a gentle curve of lips
or crooked at the corner
a flash of teeth and quick laugh
full wattage mega kind too
the best ones reach my eyes

I love the rain
I walk my dog without an umbrella
wearing rain boots with peacocks
splashing through puddles
with a grin
laughing at my prancing pup

I am not dead. I am here. Thank you, God, for these simple things and the ability to find joy in quiet moments such as these. Thank you for family and friends, and the powerful prayers of Your people who are lifting up my cancer fighting husband and me and our boys asking for the strength and courage we need to weather this vicious storm. We are thankful, humbled and oh, so very blessed. Hope bubbles fresh anew each day. Your love will see us through. ~Janean

January 25, 2013

Here Lies the Remains of a Girl Who–Did What Now?: Put yourself back together.

life’s a gamble

I’m just gonna let it all ride right now
We’ll know more on January 9th
Good news would tip emotional scale one way
Bad news would tip it down, down, down into the fiery, quicksand pit
Wait and see
Live and breathe
Step by step
Day by day
Between now and then
I’m just gonna let it all ride right now

December 29, 2012

letter of reflection

Dear Sad Girl,
Your eyes have lost their sparkle.
Must be those dark circles, detracting and subtracting the twinkle from your eyes, the windows to your creative soul.
Your face is set and sullen.
That grin that once was impish, now set in a line or hangin’ inside down.
Holy hell what a mess.
I know it’s hard now, in this moment, but we’ll get you through this.
Someday soon Faith, Hope and Love will heal the wounds within.
Keep on going.
Day by day abiding.
The loving arms of friends and family will catch you when you fall.
So try to find your smile.
Savor Joy in the quiet colors of the dawn.
Pep talks are FREE and plentiful.
Hugs are often the best medicine.
Love is the easy part.
Start by being gentle with yourself.
Love,
Me

November 17, 2012