spilled ink

October 3, 2012 Image

Today was for standin’ in the kitchen, cryin’ at a Country song, while makin’ lasagna – one for my family and one for a friend’s. It snuck up on me. That song about fathers and daughters. Caught me unaware and ill prepared as it took me back through all those early years. I didn’t know those tears were waitin’, hoverin’ beneath the surface. Some days are just like that. One lasagna delivered with garlic bread and salad for the sides. One lasagna is in the oven. Ours. And those damn dishes are waitin’ in the sink. The day is still young. I’ll do ‘em…soon. ~ Janean

October 3, 2012

September 28, 2012

I love my friends

I love my friends
Kim who makes me laugh until I snort without even trying, and no such thing as TMI between us
and Susan who pulls alongside the school curb, where I’m walking with my head down, after delivering two dozen brownies inside for a fundraising function we’re not attending tomorrow
she gets my attention with, “Hey, Sexy Mama”
my head comes up fast to see her smiling face and twinkling eyes from the driver’s seat of her familiar car
we talked in the shorthand of good friends as she rounded the sidewalk curve
for she has one more school drop off to do and then bags to pack
she’s flyin’ to South Carolina tomorrow
I’m seeing Angel and LizBeth later lunch-ish for some art business, but mostly friend business
for hugs and “to touch noses”
For face time, the live and in person kind
I’m seein’ more L’s tonight
chit chat with both Lynnette and Liann
with their families and mine
roastin’ hot dogs and marshmallows over a bonfire at my in law’s farm
e-communication has its place
but how I love talking, laughing and hugging in person so much more than simply typing, “LOL”, “hugs” and signing off emails with “Love”
for I truly do
Love my friends
~ Janean

September 28, 2012

September 28, 2012

it’s a day for words

I woke up with words in my head.
Not just one or two.
More than a few.
That now one year old pup obliged a bit, when he closed his eyes for awhile longer…
But it wasn’t enough time.
As my brain was wakin’ up and the words were kickin’ so was the rest of the household.
ACK!
NO!
The muse is fleeting.
The time is now!
Will try to catch the tail of it and hang on to the thought before it goes fleeting by.
But the clock is ticking.
Time is flyin’.
And soon I will be too.
Out the door, drivin’ from here to there, over yonder and back again, while a ticker tape of words, stories, poems and snippets of thoughts parade through my head.
I am not A Crazy Person.
And really, so what if I am?!
I am a writer.
A writer damn it.
And words are what I know.
~ Janean

September 28, 2012

September 26, 2012

I have a “works” hair appointment today
a much needed, long overdue one
last time for color was early June
last cut was sometime mid-July
when life isn’t topsy turvy crazy I get it cut every month
and colored every other to economize
when I was about to leave for my appointment
I found my husband to say, “goodbye”
while my body language was sayin’, “I gotta go now, I don’t wanna be late”
so with a hug and a kiss he said, “Come back pretty.”
I replied, “I will.”
sittin’ under the dryer now
tryin’ to make good on that promise
mmmmm, thankful for this appointment time
hair therapy I call it
my brother’s wife is the hair artist
we have fun catchin’ up and gabbin’
while her hands fly about
I leave feelin’ lighter on the inside
and smilin’ on the outside
where the pretty shows

September 26, 2012

September 14, 2012 Image

today is a day for favorite jeans
faded, creased and fraying
soft and pliable
curve hugging, not binding
way past “stylish”
not dark enough
not boot cut enough
not “skinny” enough
just right for me
comfort
the denim wrapped kind
with cowgirl boots for courage
countin’ down the hours and minutes
to my husband’s appointment time
soon we’ll know the answer to the question,
“What’s next?”

September 14, 2012

September 13, 2012 Image

I have turquoise toes
adorned with sparkly flowers
a gift from my mother
pedicures for the three of us
my mom, my sister and I
Girl Time
The Best Kind
with smiles, laughter filled conversation and love all around
the pampering was nice too
mmmmmm, needed that
more than I knew
I don’t recognize these feet as mine
for my toe nails were naked all summer
no time to paint ‘em
let alone time to be still
and have them done
a mother’s love
a woman who knows her daughters better than we know ourselves
so thankful for them both
my mother and my sister
both big pieces
of my heart

September 13, 2012

September 2, 2012

a mother’s intuition

I saw my mom today
she said, “You look tired.”
I nodded my head for yes and said, “mmm”
‘cause I am
I didn’t trust myself to say more
She tried to draw me out by asking, “Early morning?”
I answered, “Yes” aloud
and resisting adding, “Aren’t they all?!”
She wanted to ask more
but we weren’t alone
my husband’s family was there
standin’ in the driveway
Blue dog on a leash
eating’ grass
oblivious to emotion
happy to be in the front yard
while family visited
all around
I’m weary today
on the inside
and weepy
which shows
on the outside
especially in my tired eyes
mom’s just know
when their babies are hurting
even when their “baby” is forty
with babies of her own
some days are harder than others
this one has had too many tears
I’m hoping that means
I’ve cried tomorrow’s already
‘cause my mom
will be askin’ me how I am again
quite soon
until then
her intuition is workin’ overtime

September 2, 2012

August 31, 2012 Image

I am drinkin’ in the wispy clouded sky today
yesterday I painted one
in soothing shades of blue
fretting all the while
trying too hard to match the photo
when I should have let it flow
paint on paper
livin’ in the moment
makin’ a watercolor sky
no more fretting
for I’m filled up to the brim
after drinkin’ in
the wispy clouded sky today

August 31, 2012