Family
Home for the night.
Wearin’ fuzzy slippers.
Cookin’ frozen pizza for two middle school boys.
(My oldest son and his friend from next door.)
They are playin’ video games in the basement.
My youngest son is right there with them.
Always.
Home.
October 5, 2012
NOTE: This is my 600th Tumblr post. Something had to be. Figured it might as well be about family, food and home. Those three things are all tangled up together – at least for me.
a mother’s intuition
I saw my mom today
she said, “You look tired.”
I nodded my head for yes and said, “mmm”
‘cause I am
I didn’t trust myself to say more
She tried to draw me out by asking, “Early morning?”
I answered, “Yes” aloud
and resisting adding, “Aren’t they all?!”
She wanted to ask more
but we weren’t alone
my husband’s family was there
standin’ in the driveway
Blue dog on a leash
eating’ grass
oblivious to emotion
happy to be in the front yard
while family visited
all around
I’m weary today
on the inside
and weepy
which shows
on the outside
especially in my tired eyes
mom’s just know
when their babies are hurting
even when their “baby” is forty
with babies of her own
some days are harder than others
this one has had too many tears
I’m hoping that means
I’ve cried tomorrow’s already
‘cause my mom
will be askin’ me how I am again
quite soon
until then
her intuition is workin’ overtime
September 2, 2012
at the farm
eggs for supper
I served bacon and eggs to my family for supper tonight because we are out of most everything and I have yet to make it to the grocery store.
It’s Fair Week you know…
First it was gettin’ the projects done
Then it was gettin’ them judged
Now, finally it’s just goin’ to the fair for fun
And we’re goin’ quite often
We’ve been there four days in a row
With two more to go
And don’t you worry…
We’re goin’ those days too
Temps are in the 90’s
Middle mostly
With central Illinois humidity
And not a rain cloud in sight
That’s why I shouted from the kitchen, as I dished up eggs for supper, “I’m doing the best I can!”
For the 4-H motto is
“To Make The Best Better”
~ Janean
August 3, 2012
We had some more rain this evening followed by the biggest, brightest, most beautiful rainbow I’ve ever seen stretch across several houses that face my own backyard. I looked for a rainbow such as this all last summer. A sign from God that He keeps His promises. The significance of seeing a rainbow today, tonight, after a brief rainstorm, is that the printed copies of my oldest son’s book arrived today. The one he wrote for 4-H. The one that honors his father and the fight he’s been fighting for over a year now. The title is, “On May 25”. It’s a beaut of a little book that also honors the Lord as my twelve year old shares his heart, faith, belief in the power of prayer and the comfort that comes from the prayers of many for our family during this difficult time. My heart was already dancing, soaring and flying. This rainbow, a double rainbow, was an unexpected gift. SO BIG! SO BEAUTIFUL! Praying this new type of chemotherapy works. Praying for complete healing from stage four cancer. Praying to weather this storm with my family of four intact for many years to come. Thank you, God, for the reminder that You are there. Always. From the dark of night to the glow of sunrise, until the sun sets once more, and sometimes, the most special of times, You are in the translucent glow of a rainbow in a perfectly formed half circle.
~ Janean
July 26, 2012
Dear Queen Anne,
I love your lace.
I always have.
Since childhood.
When I’d tuck a stem behind my ear and the delicate blooms would tickle my face.
I picked a dozen and wove the long stems into a crown, oblivious to the minute white petals in my hair long after the crown was gone.
I chose the prettiest blooms and presented them to my grandma in a great big bunch.
Flowers, flowers everywhere in her multilayered gardens, but the only one I was allowed to pick was your lace, Queen Anne.
Time passes.
That young girl, once so carefree, grew into a woman with a family of her own.
But I’m still me.
In the light of early morning, walking my sweet pup on a new path, I spied a familiar flower.
For I never could call it a weed, with a name as lovely as, “Queen Anne’s Lace.”
Hello my friend.
Thank you for waking up my memories, of those childhood days long gone.
My grandma is gone now too.
Smiling down from heaven as I snapped off a single bloom and kept on walking.
Heading home.
Puppy slowing down, pulling less, heeling more.
I know full well it’s against the rules to pick flowers in a public park, as they are there for everyone to enjoy.
I rationalized no one would miss one weed…
Even though in my heart I didn’t think it so.
Thank you for the beautiful, pure white, intricate blooms of your lace, Queen Anne.
I’ll be walking that way again and a flower may or may not follow me home again…
(Depending a bit on who is reading.)
Love,
Janean
July 21, 2012
The 4-H Report
Entomology is all the way done. He did the activity in his project book yesterday and the insects are arranged in the cases.
We made the stingray pattern for non-clothing fleece yesterday – it’s a visual art class, not a sewing one. I’m making the first stingray to test the pattern and see how the (forgive me) damn thing goes together.
His Write A Book is special AND it’s a surprise. Getting closer…
Fudge we won’t make until the day before judging.
That’s four…
(or somewhere around the 20,000,000 mark)
Electricity is “in the works”. I have a shopping list from my father for my oldest son’s electricity project. My son and I will be sure to go together to buy those items before his Papa is back in town to build it.
A new international project one of his aunts is helping with. They brainstormed at the last fair to do the Philippines together this year. That’s where she’s from. It seemed like a good idea at the time…
Photography isn’t “hard”. I got the project book out yesterday to look over…just gotta do it!
Balsa airplanes is a bear. They are working on it…my amazingly patient husband and equally diligent sons. Both my boys are taking this one which means there is not just one, but two delicate balsa wood airplanes under construction in our basement. Did I mention projects are due the night before the fair on July 31?!
Rockets may be the one that’s dropped this year. We shall see. Eleven just feels like (at least) one too many.
Plastic models is close to being done…this one they started early, father and son, surely they will finish it soon. Maybe while the glue is drying on that mega balsa plane…
LEGOs is built. He just has a 3” x 5” card to do.
Gettin’ there…that’s all eleven, or 50,000,000 if you ask me. It’s 4-H countdown time. It’s 4-H project crunch time. Fourth year with my oldest and the first for my youngest (who wisely chose five projects which are practically all complete). This too shall pass.
~ Janean
(I was a ten year 4-H’er from age eight to seventeen, so it sort of runs in the family.)
a quiet house
I find it fascinating that the sky can be bright blue with puffy clouds behind me, and pale blue with wisps of clouds, including some gray ones ahead. I’m facing East toward the sunrise. My sweet pup was up at 4:30 a.m. I wanted the rest if my family to sleep a little longer. We’ve been enjoying a variety of birdsong in the backyard. It’s 6:00 a.m. now. Blue’s had his breakfast. I’m ready for mine. Coffee is a necessity today. May 25, 2012 is the first day of Summer Vacation, my niece’s second birthday and one year to the day since my husband’s diagnosis. The day life changed. ~ Janean
Turquoise Tangles 