today is a day for favorite jeans
faded, creased and fraying
soft and pliable
curve hugging, not binding
way past “stylish”
not dark enough
not boot cut enough
not “skinny” enough
just right for me
comfort
the denim wrapped kind
with cowgirl boots for courage
countin’ down the hours and minutes
to my husband’s appointment time
soon we’ll know the answer to the question,
“What’s next?”
September 14, 2012
I saw my mom today
she said, “You look tired.”
I nodded my head for yes and said, “mmm”
‘cause I am
I didn’t trust myself to say more
She tried to draw me out by asking, “Early morning?”
I answered, “Yes” aloud
and resisting adding, “Aren’t they all?!”
She wanted to ask more
but we weren’t alone
my husband’s family was there
standin’ in the driveway
Blue dog on a leash
eating’ grass
oblivious to emotion
happy to be in the front yard
while family visited
all around
I’m weary today
on the inside
and weepy
which shows
on the outside
especially in my tired eyes
mom’s just know
when their babies are hurting
even when their “baby” is forty
with babies of her own
some days are harder than others
this one has had too many tears
I’m hoping that means
I’ve cried tomorrow’s already
‘cause my mom
will be askin’ me how I am again
quite soon
until then
her intuition is workin’ overtime
September 2, 2012
I am drinkin’ in the wispy clouded sky today
yesterday I painted one
in soothing shades of blue
fretting all the while
trying too hard to match the photo
when I should have let it flow
paint on paper
livin’ in the moment
makin’ a watercolor sky
no more fretting
for I’m filled up to the brim
after drinkin’ in
the wispy clouded sky today
August 31, 2012
today I am thankful for sunglasses
that shield my tired eyes
from prying ones
the tears I didn’t want to cry
fell anyway
from my weary, tired eyes
I’ve found sunglasses work best
if you can conjure up a little smile
to go with them
then no one stops to wonder
why your eyelids only open to half mast
‘cause they are fallin’ for your smile
the smile that doesn’t quite reach
your UV glass protected eyes
August 30, 2012
Sleep well tonight
Have you seen the moon?
It’s crazy cool tonight
August 28, 2012
it’s raining today
oh, how we need it
the dirt is cracked
the grass is brown
scorched earth
and withering crops
all around
it’s raining today
oh, how we need it
souls parched
from a long journey
through the desert
without respite
or the nourishing balm
of rain
it’s raining today
oh, how we need it
for even the deepest roots
thirst in times of drought
questioning
withdrawing
lashing out
forgetting
that tangled together
they are tougher
to break apart
by even the mightiest
of storm
realizing it’s better
if they hold tight
to one another
through this long desert walk
it’s raining today
oh, how we need it
August 26, 2012
The car
I think it’s time to let her go
I/we need a safe newer vehicle that we trust outside the city limits on the highway
The air is broken and it’s been hot this summer
Power locks busted long ago and it’s not worth repair costs
Even if we fixed her and parked her until My oldest son was 15 or 16, in three more years I’d worry about her safety
And his
The air bag light is blinking
It’s time
It’s just not easy
To let her go
She’s been my car for 13 1/2 years
That’s a long damn time to drive a car
She’s been A Good One
One of the best
My fifth car since I turned sixteen
Twenty four and a half years ago
Now it’s time to figure out
What’s next?!
~ Janean
August 6, 2012
my turn
to break glass
I was on the phone
about the broken car
getting breakfast for my boys
reached in the cabinet
heard a crash
saw the broken shards of glass
thought the glass glass had broken
but no
it was the nice glass bowl
that was a wedding gift
15 years ago
it took me nearly that long
to figure out what to do with it
bought the coffee pot in January
put the bowl to work
holding half and half
now I’m looking for a plastic one
I can’t be trusted with glass
too delicate
and I’m feeling like that bull
the one in the china shop
August 3, 2012
9:00-ish a.m.
I first e-mailed this poem to my friend. The one who sent me a note about a glass that broke at her house while the dishwasher was being unloaded last night. She’s sharing it with her fourth grade daughter (the dishwasher unloader/glass put-er away-er too).
Turquoise Tangles 